My Infuriating Shallow Jerk
by btfanboy
Summary: Logan Mitchell enters college quiet hopeful to start a new life. So how come James Diamond is taking it over!Jagan romance!
1. Chapter 1

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**A/N: Well this is my original première story that got delayed because of that other awful fic. Although I kind of don't feel confident with this one either. This is AU, and it will be multi chaptered around seven or ten if I push it. It will have four OC characters, but two don't even count, they will barely have lines. I know, I know I could have used Kendal at least instead of an OC but I'm sort of saving him for a similar role in another story. So if you can't stomach OC characters you can skip this fic. Finally a shout out: Gleedarrenfan18, for taking time to read The Bridge, BTRCutie for being adorable, Malachite for being supportive and checking up on me, and Clarry for being you know the best!**

**Edit:This fic is now dedicated to BTRCutie because she makes me flail!**

"Ok, what's the catch?" Logan asked the tenant that showed him around the studio apartment, or a modern little palace was a more accurate description. Wooden floors, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a fully equipped kitchen with counters made of marble, a big living room that had two couches and one arm chair facing a high definition TV, a skylight filling the biggest part of the house with bright sunlight. The place was too spacey and beautiful to be rented to college students let alone in such a cheap price. So Logan stopped the tour midway, turned to the boy who was showing him around and asked flatly trying to read his face.

"Well, no catch, with the apartment. I can promise you that."

"But there is something? Derek right?" It was something in Derek's voice, almost guilty and apologetic. He nodded, sighed, and pointed on a mid level open floor right across the living room. It had a big yellow curtain with a lion draped across the middle thus hiding a big part of the floor. Logan believed it was some sort of college boy decorative statement and hadn't given it much thought.

"What's behind the curtain?"

"My roommate's bed..."

Logan thought back at the ad, and remembered that there was supposed to be another tenant.

"But there are three bedrooms, why would he sleep there?" it was a really an inconvenient thing to do, the place had too much light coming from the skylight, not to mention no privacy since it connected to the living room.

"Well James is..." Derek struggled trying to find the right words.

"Unique!" Derek suddenly exclaimed shooting up his index finger and Logan tilted his head with an inquiring face.

"Ok, I love the guy but it's his fault for saddling me with this. So, I'll be honest and hope you don't get scared and run away."

Derek gave Logan a nudge to follow him and they walked across to one of the three bedrooms, they hadn't gotten to that part of the house yet, Derek looked somewhat scared, it started to rub on Logan too. Derek twisted the doorknob opened the door and prompted Logan to take a look.

"You're kidding me right?" Logan tried not to fall on the floor laughing; the entire bedroom had been transformed in some kind of makeshift closet room. There were racks of clothing, boxes of shoes, and a self of men care products taking up the entire space of the bedroom. Logan looked across the room and there was an actual small wooden closet but a mannequin barred the door.

Logan turned and looked at Derek trying to wipe away his chuckle.

"What? Is he into fashion or something?" Logan joked but Derek sighed instead of laughing.

"Well, he used to model. So he, damn I shouldn't have to explain this, he should be here. Anyway, James used to model and now he's in theatre school. So he's very conscious about his looks."

Logan fell silent, a model/actor for a roommate would be a problem, not just because the brainy medical freshman and this James would have nothing in common, but also because...

"Look Derek I appreciate the honesty, and I feel I need to come clean with something." Logan's skin flushed red, he started to sweat lightly, this was going to be the second time he would do this in his life, but he had promised himself no more hiding.

"You're gay." Derek said grinning, Logan's mouth gaped.

"That's ok, you sort of checked me out when we met. And it won't be a problem. I'm straight and James is bi. But I don't think you're his type and trust me, he's definitely not yours."

"What? How would you know that?"

"Well, you said when you introduced yourself that you are going to med school right? So I take it you like smart guys?"

Logan nodded, but really, he thought he didn't have an actual type, he hadn't done anything with a guy before, he just knew he was attracted to men, but ok there was a limit on how much he was willing to confide to a complete stranger even though Derek seemed kind of cool.

"Then no problem, James is sort of an immature lovable idiot." Derek grinned, and Logan thought that even though it seemed that Derek was badmouthing James every other sentence the fondness in his eyes was a dead giveaway that he really cared for his roommate.

They continued the tour, now Derek was more relaxed and Logan felt relieved sort of coming out and soon, there was no question about it, Logan really wanted to live in the apartment, especially after checking his spacious bedroom that could easily fit his big bookcase, which he feared he had to leave back home. They finished the tour laughing and it seemed like a quick friendship had been struck between the two.

"Ok seriously you have to live here just so I can get the free tutoring."

Logan laughed, thinking at how different college would be, the "nerd" label had made his life hellish in high school and it was the first time that somebody complimented him for being one.

"Shouldn't I meet James first before I start moving in?"

Derek took out his cell phone and started texting.

"Want to grab lunch?"

"Sure. Are you texting James to meet us?" Logan surprised himself at how easily he answered, he wasn't a people person, never had any friends to speak of, but Derek was fun and he really wanted to meet this mysterious James so he agreed to it without a second thought.

Derek showed Logan his phone screen.

"Found our guy. Fifteen minutes, the "Place" don't be late twinkle toes."

"Twinkle toes?" Logan asked smirking.

"He had a tap-dance class, which should have ended about twenty minutes ago."

Logan nodded Derek took his jacket and they headed out.

* * *

The coffee shop was the textbook definition of a college hipster hangout, small and buzzing with people, Derek and Logan luckily found a booth, and after ordering some food, they continued getting to know each other. Although Derek did most of the talking now, because they had reached the girlfriend topic and Logan stood back amused while Derek kept going on and on about his marvellous girlfriend letting the food in his plate get cold.

"Damn, I'm monopolizing the conversation."

"Don't worry about it, you're in love it's only logical. Annoying as hell but still logical." They both laughed at Logan's comment and were about to change the subject for Logan's benefit, then he heard the jingle at the door and Logan felt that the room started to spin when his eyes fell on the person that walked in. The tall young man with the beautiful face, the perfect light brown hair, piercing hazel eyes, tan gold skin, broad shoulders, white t-shirt a pair of tight jeans and a denim coat started to walk right up to them and Logan immediately broke into pray in his mind.

_Please don't be James, please don't be James, please don't be James! Derek you are a blind straight idiot, please don't be James! HE IS SO MY TYPE. THIS IS MY TYPE! GOD DON'T BE JAMES! STOP WALKING HERE! Am I drooling?_

With that realization, Logan snapped out of his deranged trail of thought and quickly wiped the small drop of saliva running down his lower lip thanking all the higher powers that Derek had shifted his attention to the captivating man that now hovered above them, eyes locked on Derek.

"Scoot over." He said and Logan felt it was like lightning had hit him when he heard the sound of his voice. Derek moved aside and the tall boy sat down next to him opposite of Logan, making him gulp as he now had a perfect view of the astonishing face.

"James. James Diamond." He said offering a hand out to Logan, Logan awkwardly stared at it for a few seconds, went to grab it for dear life, froze in midair, and grabbed the napkin instead cleaning his sweaty palms. He returned the handshake finally focusing not to stutter.

"Logan Mitchell." He said barely hearing his own voice, the rapid beat of his own heart had become deafening.

"This is the guy?" James turned to Derek with a scrutinizing look.

"Yes, pretty boy this is Logan." Derek said making a small gesture towards Logan.

James stared intensely at Logan for a few seconds, Logan choked down the pain that came from between his legs because now his pants were suddenly constricting him and he felt a burn run through his body, as for James he seemed to contemplate on something, finally he turned back to Derek with a disappointed expression.

"Didn't I tell you I wanted someone hot?" James said smugly, and Logan thought a truck just drove in from the wall and turned him into a flat pancake.

Derek rolled his eyes, James chuckled, and Logan wanted to kill himself.

"No offense." James said to Logan casually, Logan was now looking at him like James had just twisted a knife up his groin.

"Excuse me are you joking?" Logan mumbled and James looked at him curiously.

"No, I think you're joking with that turtle neck black sweater. What are you? Ten?" James's tone was haughty, chipping away quickly at the attraction Logan felt for him.

Derek gave James a piercing look, but James ignored him, swooping to grab a fry from Logan's plate. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Logan had made certain promises to himself before going to college; not letting a bully pick on him was one of them.

"You said loveable idiot. Not infuriating shallow jerk." He threw at Derek letting the anger out.

"What? I'm not a jerk." James said and stole another fry, cutting at Derek before he could answer.

"Oh, yes, we barely know each other for five minutes and you insulted me twice, and now you're stealing my food, you're a jerk."

"If a few stolen fries ruffle you like this then you are indeed ten." James continued to nip away at Logan's food.

"And you're rude."

"Right back at ya." James countered in sing-song.

"Did you just stick your tongue at me? Well, I'm ten you're five!" Logan said moving his plate away from James.

"Umm guys can we start over?" Derek tried they both ignored him.

"Anything else you want to inform me?" James said to Logan annoyed with his tone.

"Yes, I'm moving in your house." Logan answered decisively but really not knowing if he even wanted that anymore.

"Fine!" James boomed.

"FINE!" Logan shouted, got up and stomped his way towards the bathroom. He turned to check if James was stealing any more of his fries and chuckled when he saw him flailing his arms defensively against Derek who was hitting him repeatedly with the menu catalogue.

**Was this too sort? Was Derek too annoying? That's what the review button is there for! I'd love to read some feedback! Also I have a surprise guest coming over tonight so the second chapter will probably run late.**


	2. Chapter 2

**My infuriating shallow jerk.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Ok the second chapter! A little longer this time! (Yayy?) Omg, some unplanned angst ****creped**** into this chapter towards the ending I promise this story will have only an absolute necessary amount needed for the drama progression! And to all you wonderful people putting me in your Author Alerts and favoriting this story, I can't thank you enough! I had started to think that my work will pass under the radar but you guys...*sniff*... THANK YOU!**

Things took the downhill after Logan's and James's first meeting, they barely talked to each other for their remaining lunch and when they did it was only to insult, Logan seriously considered to back out from the apartment at one point but by then his stubbornness had totally replaced the burning desire he initially felt for James. He was not going to give the bully the satisfaction, and as Derek and Logan made plans for the move, James decided that this judgmental little bookworm needed to be taken down a peg. A week after their first heated encounter James found himself carrying Logan's boxes up the building huffing like a bull and complaining about all the senseless crap Logan had brought with him.

"How many books does one nerd really need in his life? The moving company yesterday brought hardly any furniture so I thought that he only had a couple of things left." James said to Derek sarcastically as they came down the stairs for what seemed like the millionth time to get another pair of boxes from Logan's car.

"Stop bitching Princess, and try to be nice to the guy he's going to live here starting today."

James made an amusing snort, and Derek stood still at the middle of the staircase grabbing his arm.

"James, he's a nice guy and I took your lack of a real protest all week as a sign that you have no actual problem with Logan moving here , but if you do I can still talk to him, I don't want to force you into this besides it's really..."

James cut Derek off with a panicked look towards the upper level of the stairs as Logan came down with a sad face, worry set in his eyes.

"Is everything alright, is something wrong?" Logan mumbled going back and forth between the two.

James immediately turned away, and started to dash down the staircase bouncing off at the last few steps.

"Yeah there is, I've moved like fifty thousand boxes up and I have yet to see one with the label CLOTHES on." James shouted smugly back at Logan as he exited the building and grabbed another box piled at the back of the car.

Derek shook his head and followed suit giving an encouraging smile to Logan, who couldn't contain his grin, was this James's way to show his approval? They almost bumped into each other at the door and when their eyes met James tilted his head wearing a disarming smile that caught Logan off guard.

"You're blocking the entrance, puppy eyes." He slightly nudged Logan over so he could pass, and went back up the stairs, leaving him flustered as the initial burning attraction that had seemingly vanished forever griped Logan by the throat once more, making his heart race and his skin sweat.

"Damn." Logan whispered when he caught himself staring, his entire body frozen in place, at James's back, or to be more accurate at his hard rock ass covered by a pair of grey sweatpants, watching him go up the stairs, soon disappearing from view.

"Earth to Logan. Dude move." Derek grumbled as he pushed Logan gently aside from the door so he could enter the building snapping him awake from his lustful trance.

"I'm thirsty. Going to get something to drink, you guys want anything?" Logan quickly asked Derek as he turned away and barely held in check the impulse to start running before receiving an answer.

"Sure get me a coke and a juice for the health freak." Derek yelled back and Logan crossed the street with a hurried pace, trying to derail the inappropriate train of thought his mind had jumped into.

_Dude stop doing that, you have to stop staring like that, or Derek will catch you and then it's death by heart attack. Besides, he was probably making fun of you AGAIN! Bet, I looked ready to burst into tears when I came down._

He reached the little mini market around the corner, grabbed two cokes and then broke into more serious consideration when it came to James's refreshment, which he found ridiculous finally settling for an orange juice. As he made his way back, he started wondering if Derek had told James about his homosexuality and how James would react to it. Would he start teasing or would he shoot Logan down in advance to avoid any annoying pass Logan might make on him. Or would he even deem him with a response? Logan didn't know which situation was worse.

_Maybe he already knows and really doesn't care if he gets people all horny for him. What was that smile anyway? Is he aware his smile has the power to turn brains to putty? Yes genius, of course he knows, the guy's a model trying to get into acting with a room for a closet! And he's been carrying my stuff around for an hour wearing a shirt that seems to cost at least a hundred dollars. Oh my God he'll be sweating soon! How come he hasn't started sweating? Probably because he works out like half a day every day. Those shoulders are so...FUCK I'M DOING IT AGAIN! _

As he reached to the pedestrian crossing Logan adamantly decided to burry any and all hot steaming thoughts starring James, or else he'd fall into a one sided crush with him and he didn't want to kid himself. What shot would Logan Mitchell with his short stature, crooked weird smile and nerdy wallflower personality actually have with the apollonian James Diamond? Besides the semester was starting come Monday and he needed to focus on that. Maybe he could meet a guy more in his league at school and forget at how hot James was. A down to Earth guy who wouldn't spend all his money on clothes, a cultured guy who would find endearing how Logan choose to bring his favourite fifty seven books with him to college not being able to part with any of them even though he had read them cover to cover a million times, a guy who would ask for a fry not steal it. Someone he could actually fall in love and not have mind-blowing daydreams about, like the one that popped up in his head earlier where he was grabbing James's firm ass in the middle of the staircase and made out with him like an animal in heat. Logan crossed the street finally settling down but when he saw James waiting for him in front of his car, all of Logan's new birthed hope about an actual real relationship with an imaginary average Joe came crushing down at the sight of him.

James was in a black tank top, skin glistening with sweat, muscled arms adorned with popping biceps crossed around his puffing chest, hazel eyes burning with impatience.

"We're done here. Lock the car." He threw the command to Logan, before hurriedly going back inside the building. His tone didn't leave any room for Logan to fall into a sinful torpor, so he did what he was told and quickly followed James upstairs.

"How in blazes did you finish up in the ten minutes I was out? There were like twenty boxes left." He asked James as they entered the apartment where Logan almost tumbled down when his leg hit one of the aforementioned boxes since they were now scattered across the entry hall. Derek was actually moving them aside to avoid such accidents but apparently not quickly enough.

"Sorry, didn't want to waste more time so I took it up a notch." James said while he entered his "closet" slamming the door behind him almost hitting Logan in the face who absent mindedly still followed.

"Is he mad because I left you guys for a few minutes?" Logan turned to ask Derek handing him his beverage and pulling the cup from his own.

"No. It's actually worse he has a date." Derek informed him with a small nervous smile Logan tried not to choke.

"If he had a date, he shouldn't have..." Logan started to mumble but James seemingly busting out of the "closet" cut him off.

"I'm taking a shower!" James bellowed from across the hall and Logan barely saw him as he went into the bigger of the two bathrooms before once again slamming the door.

"Is he always like this when he goes out?" Logan inquired receiving a nervous cackle from Derek as an answer.

Logan and Derek were unpacking for about thirty minutes while Logan kept on glancing towards the bathroom door hoping to catch James wrapped in nothing but a towel unfortunately James walked out fully dressed, Logan likely missed that he was carrying clothes due to James's speed when he went in. Not that he minded losing his "wet James" fantasy because James was the personification of heart throb in his casual dating wear. Logan quickly stood up and followed James to his open makeshift bedroom above the living room trying to figure how not to sound like a nervous school girl when he began speaking.

"James, you want me to drive you to your date?" Logan felt proud with himself for actually pulling off the casual tone. He saw James's double bed with a small nightstand on the side and felt that his heart was taking a dive off from a cliff when he saw him pulling a condom out from the top drawer.

"No, wouldn't like my date to see me in that piece of junk. Thanks for offering." James tapped Logan on the shoulder giving him a small condescending smile as he made his way to the front door, not noticing that Logan was boiling red until he suddenly broke into shouting.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PIECE OF JUNK?" James stood still in the living room while Logan glared daggers at him. Derek gave himself a facepalm. Logan came right up to James's face, and not even the peach scent of James's shampoo could calm him down.

"Dude, your car is ancient. And it looks like a hearse." James said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Logan stepped back mouth open, he felt his ribs crushing on his heart, for a moment James caught Logan's dark brown eyes and he thought they had begun to get misty with tears, but then Logan took a breath closed his mouth and stared indifferently at him.

"Fine I was trying to thank you for your help earlier and I didn't want you to run late because of me. My mistake. Have a nice date." Logan returned to Derek's side picking up where he left off in the unpacking process while James felt the room temperature plummet into ice age.

James started to form an apology in his mind when the vibration of his cell phone buzzed in his pocket, a text from his date abstracting him. He quickly noted the time and started to run towards the door but then took a moment to turn back to Derek not surprised at the furious look that he received from him. It softened immediately when James murmured an inaudible "I'm sorry." Derek gave him a nod to the door and James left.

A full hour passed and the only talk in the room had to do with the unpacking, Logan seemed to be running in autopilot, until he suddenly got up and marched up to the kitchen counter where he had absently left the orange juice he had previously bought for James. He picked it up and slammed it in the garbage bin.

"Logan, you're the only one of us with a car. That makes you King of the Hill around here." Derek said warmly, but Logan just sighed at him and now focused in setting his books in his bookcase. It took another twenty minutes before he asked Derek to stop and thanked him for his time and help promising him to finish the unpacking tomorrow. Afterwards he kindly asked him to leave since he wanted to go to bed early claiming to be tired because of the trip he had taken to his hometown and back. Derek gave him his privacy and once alone Logan opened a previously shut box looking for one particular item. When he found the old family photo, he took it up in his hands, gazing lovingly to one particular person.

"Your car's not a hearse dad." And he settled the photo on his nightstand before going to bed.

**Yes, James will redeem himself in coming chapters mostly because I feel bad for making him such a bad guy! A review would make me feel like the King of the Hill!**


	3. Chapter 3

**My infuriating shallow jerk.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Hi guys! Here's chapter 3 of this story, and this is the first chapter were poor bullied Logan actually starts to live with his infuriating shallow jerk! So yeah, things start to roll with this chapter, as the set up stage slowly comes to an end. Biggest chapter I've written so far. So feedback is very important and even more very much appreciated! And another SHOUT out too all you people that make me soar: bmwstamps, fanmin, Titled Heart, sailfast32, ThisHendersonChick14, laundy! And Btrcutie you inspired me to write this chapter in the middle of the night! How can you be so precious!**

Logan sheepishly took his cell phone to check on the time, drugging himself to awareness and slowly getting up. He could easily sleep a couple of more hours since it was still seven something , but he decided against it, he hadn't realized how tired he actually was from his hometown trip going to bed around ten yesterday, but anymore sleep would throw him off his regular schedule. He actually found it ironic that the excuse he made last night came actually to be pretty much the truth. He was one step out of his bedroom door when he remembered to grab his towel and toothbrush and went back to collect them from his carry on luggage, finally marching like a criminal on death roll towards the bathroom. That's when he heard whistling coming from the kitchen. He popped his head throwing a quick glance towards it to see James running up and down from stove to coffee maker to toaster. That's when he felt the sudden need to hurl.

_Oh great he's up..._

Logan took as much caution as he could muster in his half-sleep state and made it to the nearest bathroom without informing his roommate that he was awake, closing the door as silently as he could and taking care of the morning necessities, deciding to go back in his room so he could haul himself in, at least until James left for Hell Logan decided was the preferable destination.

As he started to tip toe back to his to room, he suddenly felt a striking pain ran up his left leg , he had come across another of the damn boxes from his moving in yesterday, currently scattered through the living room.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Logan screamed and then slapped both hands on his mouth remembering that Derek was still sleeping and he was supposed to be quiet in order to avoid James.

"Good morning potty-mouth." James giggled from the kitchen looking across the counter straight to Logan.

Logan wanted to glare daggers at him but the lack of caffeine made it impossible for him to look anywhere near his desired threatening level, so he just nodded and turned to leave.

"Wait up, sunshine. Breakfast is served." James walked towards the kitchen table making a grand gesture over it. Logan walked up to take a closer look and raised an eyebrow when he saw that there were plates full of pancakes and toast, a big jug of orange juice, a steaming full brimmed pot of coffee and a box of bagels, carefully set like this was a five star all-you-can-eat buffet.

Logan still had a sour look on his face, which turned even worse when James inclined him to have a seat. He considered throwing the orange juice on James's pretty perfect head but opted to grumble instead.

"These aren't poisoned right?" Logan mumbled and James gave him a heart warming grin taking a piece of toast and shoving it down his own mouth.

"Come on Dr. Mitchell. Most important meal of the day and everything." James encouraged him munching at his toast.

Logan sighed finally plummeting down a chair and taking up the coffee pot to pour some on the nearest glass. James gave him a proud accomplished look before moving back to the kitchen to return with some maple syrup finally taking the seat opposite of Logan.

"Try the bagels, they're amazing when their still hot." James's annoying little grin didn't leave his face, and it made Logan want to throw the bagels out the window. That was when James took on a solemn look, and locked his hazel eyes into Logan's brown black.

"I'm sorry about yesterday Logan." James said apologetically in a shamed tone and Logan went breathless as his heart made a bounce to escape his chest like it was hit with a thousand jolts and was suddenly returning back to life.

James stared at Logan intensely in silence waiting for a reaction, while Logan's mind raced trying to decide between sense and sensibility.

"So all of this is bribery..."

James shook his head and laughed and then with a smug smile answered Logan.

"The only bribery here are the bagels, the coffee shop that makes them is pretty far and is packed even at the wee hours. I do the other stuff everyday, well almost everyday." James tilted his head thinking about it.

"You're lying..."Logan wouldn't allow himself to believe in James let alone let his eyes trail on James's once again tank top dressed upper body, he wasn't going to go down that road again.

James stood up smiling and walked to a bulletin board that hung on the fridge door, he unpinned a piece of paper and handed it over to Logan, who still feigned sleepiness as he sipped from his coffee cup and started reading it.

The first entry was marked 6.30 were apparently James went out for a jog to return one hour later were he had a gap of free time between 7.30 and 9.00, Logan rummaged through the rest of the schedule that was packed with various acting and dance classes but they all had some small breaks in-between and all came to a stop around the afternoon so James would go to the gym for about an hour, every single day, which made Logan shoot an uncontrollable little giggle since his guess about James's work out program was spot on, and then James had free time from 20.00 until the final 1.00 entry were the sentence BEAUTY SLEEP was marked in bold black.

"This doesn't prove anything, except that you need to pack more sleep in here." Logan returned the paper to James who kept on smiling like an idiot, only now Logan didn't find it so frustrating anymore.

"Well I make it a priority to stay home every other afternoon, and I only go out late on Friday and Saturday night. Then Sunday I sleep like a log until the midday when I get up and usually clean the house with Derek. I also do most of the shopping and cooking because I don't want to die from cholesterol before I'm thirty. Which if it happens will be Derek's fault entirely, just so you know." Logan unconsciously grabbed a bagel eyes still fixed on James mesmerized on how focused he looked, Logan had him pinned as some kind of airhead , because they were like billions of unemployed actors out there, and Logan considered the occupation a death trap, same thing like being a singer that was the main reason Logan had...

"So am I forgiven?" James asked with a serious tone Logan could even make out a hint of anxiety in his eyes, he took a bite from his bagel, and after his senses were flooded with an incredible taste he finally answered.

"Yeah. We're ok." Logan unconsciously gave James his quirky crooked smile and James jaw dropped on the floor.

"Dude, that's the first time I see that. Kind of cute smile you have there." James statement made Logan choke on his remaining bagel and made his cheeks flush with a deep red colour. James started laughing while Logan tried to reign himself in. That moment Logan's cell phone started to buzz and without even checking caller I.D he hurriedly answered standing up.

"Good morning gorgeous." Logan walked up to the kitchen window back turned so he wouldn't face James and hide his embarrassment, but he still felt the hazel eyes pinned on him.

"No, no, I'm fine and rested still have some stuff to unpack though." Logan was grinning uncontrollably obviously happy to be talking to the person on the other side of the line, James was sceptical trying to deduce at whom exactly Logan was talking to.

"How are you holding? You're not burying yourself in work I hope. Aaaw, I miss you too." Logan was now beaming and James took note at how adorable he was.

"No school starts Monday I still have a few free days left. No, I'm not going to spend them cooped up in my room with a book. Relax. And you should call Jenifer, go out do some shopping."

James could do nothing but stare at Logan who looked so child like.

"Yeah they're both nice. I'm getting along fine with them." Logan made it his point to turn and face James who chuckled back to him.

"Ok bye Mom, your Loggie-bear loves you." As Logan hanged up with a full smile plastered on his face he suddenly realized how the last part of the sentence had slipped, frozen by terror he stared at James whose reaction was imminent.

"Oh my GOD!" James started laughing hysterically banging at the table a few times as Logan bit his lip in embarrassment.

"Loggie-bear!" James croaked as tears ran down his cheeks and he wrapped his arms around his stomach that was now in pain from all the uncontrollable laughter.

"So I'm close with my mom, big deal." Logan tried to sound angry as he walked back to the table.

"No dude, that's awesome. I'm laughing at the nickname! Cause, admit it, it's hilarious!" Logan broke his morbid face with a small chuckle as James smiled wiping his tears away.

"I thought it was your girlfriend or something." James had stopped laughing or rather he controlled it more now.

"Yeah well it wasn't..." Logan took note at James's choice of words.

_So Derek hasn't told you._

He grabbed a pancake and put some syrup on top stuffing his mouth trying to phrase his next sentence but his nerves were broken strings now.

"And if I had someone...it would probably be a boyfriend." He finally spited between bites as he felt his body shake.

James shot his eyebrows up in surprise and his laughter suddenly died.

"How did I not notice that?" He asked himself curious.

"Well, I told Derek and I thought you knew." Logan concentrated on his plate like the meaning of life was hidden in there somewhere.

James stood up and walked towards Logan's seat his hovering presence made Logan raise his head up. James had an inquisitive tense expression on his face. He studied Logan from head to toes. His arrogant smile made an appearance.

"The baggy clothes threw me off probably, and you need a haircut." James said and his voice was now husky, Logan raised his hand trailing his fingers through his unkempt hair.

"Yeah...I do..." Logan whispered lost in James's hazel eyes. A million thoughts ran through his mind all of them started and ended with James. His lips, his eyes, his hair, his chest...

James leaned down and they were inches away now.

"Logan..." His voice was still husky but there was something else mixed in there too, something Logan hadn't heard before in his entire life.

"Yeah..." Logan said trembling, letting go of his last breath, since his lungs were now burning refusing to take another one.

"You have morning wood." James informed him in a playful tone, innocently staring down at the "tent "that had formed between Logan's legs.

Logan gasped and flailed and shot up from his chair, their heads came to collision and Logan fell down on his back painfully on the kitchen floor.

"Are you two fighting again?" Derek opened his bedroom door violently and ran up to the kitchen. He stared furious at James, and then he turned to Logan with worried eyes.

"Nope. Logan's just a little accident prone." James said rubbing his throbbing temple giggling. Logan started to nod his head up and down. His mind exploded.

_Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies!_

That didn't do much as he still felt the bulge stir inside his pajama pants.

"We haven't fought all morning." James informed Derek proudly.

"Good." Derek gave a yawn.

"Going to the bathroom." He said and started slouching down the living room.

"ME TOO!" Logan got up and sprinted towards the closest bathroom, jumping to avoid the left over boxes. He slammed the door behind him and nervously turned on the washing sink splashing cold water on his face.

_FUCK! Jesus fucking Christ! I wanted to kiss him! I could have kissed him! We were so close I could have just wrapped my arms around his neck pulled him down and kissed him! And then he could have picked me up and bang me on the fucking table! God, I want him to fuck me! I thought I wanted to fuck him! But no I want HIM to fuck ME! Stop, Logan STOP! He's just flirty. He was flirting right? That was flirting right? Is my heart still beating? Yeah, it's beating like crazy! Calm yourself Mitchell! It's never going to happen. He was just playing with you, trying to get a reaction! Fuck! He's playing with me. Or maybe he's trying to be nice on his own stupid selfish childish little way. Well he is immature about it, but he made me breakfast! No us, he made _**_us_**_ breakfast, for all three of us. Don't read too much into it. Ok I'm calm now! Let's go outside before he get's any funny ideas of what I'm doing locked in here._

Logan stepped out of the bathroom as composed as he could get and saw that James was buttoning up a shirt, and had already exchanged his sweatpants for a pair of skinny jeans. He walked nervously towards the table and picked up his fallen chair avoiding to make contact which James didn't seem to mind. Derek came out of the second bathroom with a huge smile on his face. He sat next to Logan and James mechanically poured him some coffee.

"Thank you Mary Poppins. Brianna's flying in tonight." Derek beamed.

"Hooray presents!" James said giddily like he was a child.

"Your girlfriend?" Logan tried to remember, forcing himself to ignore the fact that James paid him no attention at all now.

"Yes, and she's taking us out tomorrow night. She wants to meet Logan." Derek was about to burst with happiness as he stretched his hand to reach for a bagel. James slapped it away like he was carrying the plague.

"Those aren't for you!" James said dead serious and then quickly placed them in front of Logan.

"Ouch! You don't love me anymore." Derek moaned

"No! I love your girlfriend that's bringing me presents from India! Now I got to go!" He turned to leave checking the time on his wristwatch, and gave out a menacing warning to Derek not to touch the bagels, as he left he grabbed a piece of toast quickly and shoved it down his throat.

"Bye, bro! Bye Loggie-bear!" James ruffled Logan's hair and was out the door in record time.

"Loggie-bear..." Derek stared at Logan like he had sprouted a second head, but Logan was now soaring in Heaven and nothing could make him come down to Earth or wipe away his love sick smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**My infuriating shallow** **jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Hello awesome supportive people that make me put my real life in the back burner so I can write fiction! This is the 4th chapter of _My infuriating shallow jerk_. This story will be a kind of one step forward two steps backwards sort. **

**I don't want to rush things, so back in chapter one I wrote that this will have seven or ten chapters if I push it, well it's safe to say it will be impossible to wrap things up before chapter ten and even then it could take longer. It's not like I'm making stuff as I go, I have a chapter plan only now I feel more confident and they all have expanded somehow. So let's see if I can keep you around**

After James left it took Logan a solid hour to come back down from Cloud 9, Derek questioning about the Loggie-bear nickname and how Logan's and James's morning talk had gone was what eventually snapped him back to reality, Logan answered truthfully to Derek' questions but not in full details. You had to hold him under gun point to make him spill about the almost-kiss-morning-wood-incident. Luckily Derek was content with the knowledge that the other two had started to get along. After they finished breakfast and cleaned the entropy mess that was now the kitchen, they went and finished up with the unpacking. Logan was acting like a kid on a sugar rush the entire time, and Derek would have noticed it if he wasn't acting the same due to his returning girlfriend.

"So I can trust you guys not to turn the place into a battlefield and sleep over at Brianna's?"

Logan went from slight blush to vivid red at the drop of a hat.

_A night alone with James? HELL YEAH! Maybe I can sneak a peek when he showers..._

Logan took a few nanoseconds to rephrase the sentence in his mind.

"We're both adults, I think we'll manage." Logan answered stoically.

They finished the unpacking around noon and then Derek proposed to take a drive around the city and have lunch. Logan after checking the time trying to remember James's schedule wanted to trash the idea. James was supposed to drop by for a quick study session before heading back to class. Unfortunately Logan couldn't find a solid excuse, so he reluctantly agreed.

As they went through the city in Logan's car Derek gave him various info tips as to where the cool affordable places were. Logan finally realized that he had forgotten something vital and asked instructions for the city library. Derek laughed and told him that the campus one was more equipped anyways and he had no need of it, but Logan insisted it was good to have a back up. So they went to the city library and Logan smiled idiotically signing the library forms so he could get a card. Afterwards they had their launch in another college hang out immersing themselves to a talk around school life and Derek's chosen field which was liberal sciences although he had considered dropping it finding the work load unbearable. Derek was astounded when he realized that Logan was actually more knowledgeable than him, not just on the subject, Logan knew most of Derek's professors by name field of work and various printed articles.

"Man did you have a life back home?" Derek finally asked a little angry.

Logan felt himself shrink, realizing that he was coming out as a know-it-all Smart Alec.

"Well no, to tell you the truth I didn't. Not one that didn't involve books, the internet or something lame like RPG video games. I had no actual friends except my mom. I know it sounds pathetic, but I don't know, I always found studying easier than talking to people."

"Hey sorry, I didn't mean to snap." Derek apologized, and Logan gave him a smile.

"You I can handle, it's James that drives me crazy!" Logan sort of panicked with fear, his words could be taken in any way from anger to the lustful feelings that he was currently harboring.

"James is a great guy. You just have to know him first in order to like him. I'm just glad you're giving him a chance. Most people don't you know, they either hate him from day one or use him cause he's a such a giver or try get into his pants which admittedly isn't that hard. He's so naive sometimes, that's where the cocky attitude comes in; he uses it to sort people out. And he's brutally honest most of the time, which get's him into a lot of fights. He hates lying and being lied too..."

Derek continued to list some more facts about James but Logan had zoned out. He felt kind of bad now. Yeah maybe James was a flirt, his looks and attitude didn't exactly help the situation. But still Logan had loads of experience of living judged solely on the image you project and not the person you are. He felt guilty when he realized he had done the same to James, if he was honest with himself Logan had to admit he only wanted sex from him sure there were feelings but the carnal attraction trumped everything else, he never really tried to see beneath the hot package. He had to change that, maybe he could start a friendship which was more viable to work anyways more so than the hot steaming fantasies of kitchen sex. He felt a little scared in the idea of giving James an actual chance, because what would happen if he actually fell for the guy? After an hour or so they returned to the apartment, Logan was relieved to see that James hadn't returned home or they had missed him, either way the initial excitement he felt for the coming night was replaced by anxiety.

He digressed back to his classic trademark plan of running away. He picked a couple of med books authored by his soon-to-be professors and fell into a study frenzy.

When James came into the building it was early nightfall, he ran into the departing Derek at the entrance.

"What's up zombie lord?" Derek could see that James was ready to collapse due to his hectic schedule.

"Nothing much, leaving to go to Brianna's right? Didn't I tell you that those pants are tacky?" James said between yawns making Derek to roll his eyes.

"Is Logan upstairs?" James popped a vivid grin.

"Yeah, spend the entire day with him, toured the city a little, had lunch, felt awful hiding your dirty little secret." Derek let the last part sink and watched James snap awake.

"You didn't tell him did you?" James asked with grave concern, his voice came out in whisper just in case.

"No but he's going to find out eventually man, all he has to do is Google your name, and it's no big deal really." Derek tried to encourage and pressure him at the same time.

"You know how people treat me when they learn Derek, Logan doesn't have the best opinion on me anyways. ..."

"Your fault entirely." Derek interrupted.

"Yeah I know, I'm trying to change that, and getting to know Logan in the mean time, and if he actually is as decent as he looks, I'll tell him. It's too early now." James shook his head decisively.

"Fine, I'll notify Brianna to play along, don't expect her to fall in line though."

"Can we cancel tomorrow then?" James asked half-jokingly.

"Then you can kiss your present goodbye." And with that Derek left, while James went up and into the apartment.

"Loggie-bear, where are you?" James quickly scanned the living room and found Logan asleep on the couch a book wrapped around his chest, empty take out dinner scattered on the coffee table.

James moved silently switching off the lights behind him and headed to his "closet" room, he got a small light blanket returned to the living room and gently spread it over on Logan. Then he headed for the bathroom to take a quick shower before finally slouching towards his own bed. He remained oblivious to the fact that Logan was actually awake, and after making sure that James was asleep he wrapped the blanket around his body taking long whiffs in order to lull himself to his own dream world.

* * *

The following morning Logan woke up from the noises James made as he prepared himself for his 6.30 jog. He bit his lower lip at the sight of him of course; James looked hot even in an overall shirt.

"Good morning." Logan mumbled quietly not knowing if he wanted James to hear him or not.

"Hey, go back to sleep it's still six, and there's no breakfast for you yet." James grinned.

"Are you getting me bagels?" Logan asked with childlike innocence.

"No, I already spoiled Derek with those when we first started living together. I'm not making that mistake again." Logan made a pout and James gave him a defeated sigh.

"Fine puppy eyes. I'll get you the damn bagels. But you have to clean the Chinese bombardment on the table. And stop letting Derek pick the take out or you'll never live to own a lab coat."

Logan lifted himself off the couch grinning when he felt the blanket roll down, the awkwardness and anxiety returned and crept in him, the sudden realization on how sweet James really was as a person.

_Oh no, if he keeps this up I'm going to fall for him, HARD. And then he'll break my heart, and I'll have to move out, and I'll have to kiss Derek goodbye too because he'll be caught in the middle of it. I can't risk it, too much on the line._

Logan was about to tell James to forget the bagels but it was too late because James had left without warning. Logan was in the shower when he heard James return and started to cook their breakfast. Logan turned the water to freezing cold in order to avoid any accidents like the one from yesterday. As he exited the tub he fell into quick panic looking left and right for the set of clothes he could have swore he brought along with him. Finally remembering he forgot them on his bed he dried himself up and wrapped the towel around his waist. He steeled himself certain of what would follow as he turned the doorknob.

"There you are I was about to start without you." James said and Logan bit his lip nervously as time started to slow between the seconds it took James to lift his head to face towards Logan's direction.

The plate with the bacon broke into a million pieces as it slipped from James's hand and fell full force on the floor making a complete mess, shock had griped James's entire body and he started to blink repeatedly like he was suddenly attacked by an epileptic seizure.

"Logan..." James mumbled, Logan looked guilty like he was a pedophile caught in the act.

"MAN LOOK AT THAT BODY!" James finally shouted smiling and paced fast towards the other boy who would have dashed back into the bathroom, or to his room, or out of the apartment or to the freaking Grand Canyon but found his legs routed on the floor.

James was a few feet away when he stopped to take in the form of the stranger in front of him. Logan had a gorgeous, flat chest, muscled arms broad shoulders, a milk skin complexion and sculpted abs.

"I can't believe this..." James smiled like a kid in a candy store. Logan fixated his head down too embarrassed to face him.

"Can you... stop staring...please...?" Logan whispered.

"No, deal with it." James said with that arrogant tone of his making things even harder for Logan.

"Why do you hide this, man you look hot!" Logan turned away finally sprinting towards his room, but James repeated the question and paced right next to him.

"Because I don't like people looking at me..." Logan mumbled.

"Ok ...and?" James tried to coax more out not satisfied with the answer.

Logan entered his room trying to close the door behind him but James quickly stopped it with his foot.

"I need to change!" Logan's tone was filled with anger, James's face turned serious.

"I'm not dropping this. Go on; explain to me why is it that all your clothes are at least two sizes larger than they should."

"Because they feel comfortable! And besides I stopped my exercise program about a month ago. I don't plan on keeping this up." James looked horrified he couldn't believe his ears.

"Why?" James finally asked as Logan put on a large jumper shirt careful not to drop the towel. James made a disapproving loud snort and Logan gave him a look full of fury.

"I don't have to do it anymore ok! There are no jock cliques in college to make my life miserable so I can use the time for my studies!" Logan was furious now he really wanted to leave those memories behind. His head stuck in the toilet and people throwing him around like a ball. He finally took a stand, he finally fought back which had turned to him receiving a massive beating, because even though he had made himself stronger the bullies were more in number. He had to make his valedictorian speech in bandages and an arm cast.

"Logan you're insane." James said as Logan tried to put on his boxer short holding the towel up with one arm.

"You can't tell me you regretted making yourself healthy?" James bellowed.

Logan grabbed his sweatpants and boxers failing to put them on with the towel still wrapped and returned to the bathroom after realizing that James wasn't planning to leave him in peace. This time he was quicker with the door and he locked it too for good measure. But James kept on shouting from the other side.

"Don't you want a boyfriend?" Logan made his palm into a shaking fist holding back the first answer that popped in his mind.

"Yeah, I want someone that looks at me, not the way I look." Logan realized he was both cheesy and hypocritical but to Hell with it, he was pissed now.

"Dream on, baby. I grew up in the modeling business people are all about the looks. Besides the first thing you see on a person is his face not his heart." James's voice actually dropped in a lower register on the second half of the sentence. Logan remembered something from his lunch with Derek about James having being taken advantage before. He opened the door after he finally finished changing and James stood still blocking the exit.

"People care about three things Logan, your looks, your money, and your usefulness. And you're setting yourself up to a lonely life if you don't acknowledge that."

Logan huffed in discontent while James moved aside.

"Is that why you cook for us to feel useful?" Logan decided that the best course of action would be to turn the tables on him.

"No I'll be useful when I burn those awful clothes of yours." James answered menacingly.

"You are so shallow." Logan said mockingly as he felt the tension between them finally subside.

"And proud of it! And seriously Dr. Mitchell what kind of doctor are you setting yourself to be, if you ruin your own body when it's so yummy..." James licked his lips with the tip of his tongue and Logan immediately went to the kitchen and stuffed his mouth with a bagel.

"Crap, the bacon!" James suddenly saw the mess in the floor and went to clean it.

"At least come and jog with me." James asked with his big bright hazel eyes pined on Logan.

"Fine, but I get bagels." Logan said gesturing to his mouth.

"Oh, great! I spoiled you already. And get yourself a haircut." James said horrified.

"I actually agree with you on that." Logan nodded.

"And let me drop your clothes off to a shelter." James begged.

"Ok..." James was ready to bounce with joy but Logan continued.

"...right after we drop yours." Derek opened the entrance door to find Logan laughing and James looking sickly pale.


	5. Chapter 5

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: I can't believe that we've reached chapter 5. OMG the guys are starting to take control over the story Logan was supposed to stay all wallflowery and James was supposed to be all uncaring. Also James's inner thoughts (written in the black italics) were supposed to appear in the second to last chapter! I'm losing control. S.O.S! The ship is going down! Now let me tell you something funny about this monster of a chapter. I had completely forgotten that James has a lucky comb! This chapter originally did NOT have the comb! I'm a bad BTR fan! But thank God for reviews ThisHendersonChick14 mentioned it, and gave me an awesome ingredient to add to this chapter. Also I'd like to thank her for her personal encouragement it boosted my confidence and solidified my conviction to write. This chapter desperately needs feedback if you can just tell me if I need to break it into two separate ones I'd appreciate it. Love you guys!**

For once Logan was the first to leave the apartment that day, he had some last minute school supplies to purchase, Monday just a weekend away now, that coupled with the fact he wanted to avoid another conversation with James about his workout slump, especially in front of Derek who would obviously side with James on the subject, had him depart twenty minutes after breakfast. Laptop case strapped on his shoulder and in clothes that made James's face twist with disapproval Logan left to take care of more important business.

He hit every bookstore and media store that caught his eyes, buying notebooks, pens a few empty audiocassettes for his palm recorder, a couple of extra usb sticks and so on. Basically he was preparing himself for school like a marine ready to deploy into enemy territory. There was just one stray thought in his mind that kept on bugging him to no end. Eventually giving in he picked out his cell phone and called his mother.

"Hey mom, is this a bad time?" After making sure he wasn't imposing and giving his mother a small update of how things were he finally reached his point.

"Mom, can you e-mail me my diet and exercise program? I don't have them in the laptop erased them by mistake...With one of the guys... Yeah...No biggie if you forget...Ok Loggie-bear out." He let out a sigh shaking his head as he put his phone back in his pocket, he imagined James bursting with joy and smugly rubbing his small victory in. Logan had just willingly signed his death warrant.

_And you say you spoil me..._

* * *

A couple of hours later Logan received a lengthy text from Derek mostly asking to meet him and a friend of his for coffee, but feeling that he had become to clingy on Derek, Logan kindly refused the offer. Having nothing else to do and deciding not to go back to an empty apartment out of fear that he would go into another endless study session which would leave him drained for tonight's dinner, he used his laptop to check for any movie theatres that aired anything close to his tastes. Surprisingly he found more than just a few, from European cinema to a superhero movie marathon, Logan was now set for the rest of his free day.

When he opened the apartment door humming some movie theme, he froze in surprise when he heard James and Derek arguing.

"Shit! Where is he! Call him again!" James screamed pacing nervously up and down his own little floor room.

"I just did, I got his voice mail. Calm down he'll be here." Derek though sounded just as stressed as James was.

"I cannot believe you! This is totally your fault! How could you forget to tell him?" James was furious he came down to the living room throwing an accusatory finger towards Derek.

"Well I forgot okay! I hadn't seen Nick since summer break started. I didn't call Brianna to confirm the time either until half an hour ago." Derek gave his excuse but obviously he was just as mad with himself as James was with him.

Before James could continue with his tantrum Logan stepped in the apartment still putting the puzzle pieces together.

"I'm here..." Logan murmured under his breath Derek threw his head back on the couch pillows relieved, James ran toward Logan upset and grabbed him by the wrist.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? CAN'T YOU PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE?" James was shouting all flustered, and Logan would have shouted back out of pure reflex but he just stared at James's hand wrapped around his wrist, warmth flooded his body, it didn't feel like the other times James had touched him or looked at him intensely, he felt like it was natural, he felt like it was right, he felt _happy._

"The battery died..." Logan mumbled not moving his arm away even though James was unconsciously squishing it with more than enough force to leave a bruise.

"Oh, that's ok. Not your fault." James's voice was now soft, low, his eyes looking into Logan's kind of lost in the endless black.

"Come on. We need to get you ready." James suddenly snapped back, and dragged a now panicked Logan in the larger of the two bathrooms.

"We have like three hours until dinner." Logan remembered the instructions that he received with Derek's coffee invitation, and the panic in his voice was more due to the realization that James was now letting him go and not because the dinner plans were thrown in disarray.

"That asshole forgot to tell you it's a five star restaurant!" James threw Derek a look promising to maim him later for it, and now Logan actually started to really worry about dinner.

"I don't have money for something that fancy or clothes or..." Logan started to trail on but James interrupted him.

"What you have is stupid hair. Didn't we agree to get you a haircut?" James ruffled Logan's hair making him sort of bounce to the touch.

"Brianna works there during school season, practically runs the place. We get free dinner, and about the other stuff...don't worry Loggie...I'll take care of you I promise... STOP STARING AND GET INTO THE SHOWER." James changed his voice from heartwarming to commanding and Logan immediately closed the door, silently he bumped his head on the surface of the wood.

_I'm in love with you..._

* * *

Logan opened the bathroom door once again wrapped only in a towel to see Derek tying his spotless black shoes freshly shaved and in a formal blue jacket.

"Wow, I thought James was exaggerating, but you really are all buffed and dreamy. TYRA! MIGHTY MOUSE IS OUT!" James dashed out of Logan's bedroom and Logan had to grab his falling towel in midair, partly because of Derek's joke, partly because the sight of James made his entire body shake. A light azure formal shirt the sleeves rolled up midway, light crème silk pants and a black sort tie that hang loosely around his neck, his hair perfectly made, his face slightly wet and glistening from the after shave. He was holding two folded towels and a small makeup case in one hand, a pair of Logan's boxers on the other. Logan wanted to look away from the walking dream. James couldn't possibly be real; a person so beautiful and breathtaking couldn't possibly exist. And yet here he was smiling at Logan nudging him excitedly to go back in the bathroom.

"Wear this, I'll get a stool." James quickly set one of the towels on the floor and left, Logan did as he was told although grudgingly, he really didn't want to close the door, he didn't want to wear the boxers, he only wanted James to touch him again. James returned with one of the kitchen's stool placing it opposite the mirror he prompted Logan to sit and set the makeup case next to the sink, he unfolded the left over towel and wrapped it around Logan's neck so it would fall down on his bare chest.

It was then that the confused Logan realized looking himself in the mirror on what James's plan was. James saw the terror in Logan's eyes and smiled.

"Trust me, I'm a professional." He opened the small case and took a pair of long scissors out, which actually did look to be made for the job.

Logan started to shake like a leaf as James used two fingers to lift up some of Logan's lengthier strands with one hand, cutting them without any hesitation with the scissor.

"Aren't you going to ask me how I do my hair?" Logan chattered.

"No. Stop shaking, close your puppy eyes and relax. I've got this." James answered lost in concentration. Logan wanted to argue but how could he? He followed James's instructions to the letter, soon he was a living marionette moved only to the direction his master willed him to. He didn't even hear the clipping the scissors made loosing himself in James's care.

_Thank God the towel is covering my legs...He's running his fingers in my hair again... They're so long...Oh fuck, I want to suck them! Don't! Stop, put them back, what are you doing? A comb his combing my head now...I can barely feel it. I miss the fingers Give them back please. There they are...Oh tilt my head down. Yeah baby whatever you want...Here you go. Do I hear a razor buzz? Well he can do a fucking mohawk as long as he keeps touching me. I love you, how can you not see it? I'm so in love with you, you are so kind to me and hot...so damn hot, most beautiful man on the face of the planet. You promised to take care of me. You can break me into a thousand pieces do what you want. I'm insane now, certifiable lunatic. I'm yours I swear on my father's grave I'm yours...Oh dad, I'm sorry what am I thinking? I'm so sorry..._

"Hey Loggie, are you crying? It's ok open your eyes now I'm almost done." James's tone was full of concern, Logan blinked, and little teardrops fell down his cheeks he quickly wiped them off and tried to calm himself down.

"See, no need to cry, you look great." Logan saw James smile through the mirrors' reflection and he did look good, barely recognized his own face, he never had his hair this short but it made him look edgier more confident even sexy he dared to think, the crook smile came out on its own in sign of gratitude. James actually blushed and Logan's heart skipped a few beats,

James cleaned the back of Logan's neck with a barber brush. He picked up a hair gel product with a stylish light pink letter D on the cup and coated his fingers with it. Logan closed his eyes shut and tried not to swallow his tongue, savoring the sensation knowing that it'd be the last time James would run his long fingers through his hair. He whimpered when James removed them.

"All done." James started to wash the little black comb in his hands as Logan stood up, as James set his tools back in the case he decided not to say anything about the bulge barely contained in Logan's boxers, he still had to dress him up and Logan running scared wouldn't exactly do them any good. Besides it was only natural for Logan to be horny in this situation barely dressed locked in the bathroom with him while he touched him for what seemed like forever.

**_Let's not embarrass the poor guy any further._**

James didn't know that Logan was waiting, hoping praying for a comment. So he could fall on his knees and beg James for any sign of affection he could spare. But neither said anything not until James kissed his washed wet comb before putting it in his back pocket. Logan's reaction was an inverted déjà vu. He slipped on the tile floor laughing.

"What was that?" Maniac laughter filled the bathroom making the walls vibrate.

"My lucky comb. Stop laughing Loggie-bear." James's request fell on deaf ears.

"Didn't we have a fight this morning about how you didn't care about your looks; you got all teary on me a few seconds ago...Horn dog!" James tried brutal smugness waiting for Logan to fall silent. Logan just dropped the volume of his laughter, but he didn't stop. He looked at James pinning him with that crooked smile and asked between giggles.

"Are you dressing me up too, jerk?" James nodded in affirmation; Logan lifted himself up and strutted towards his bedroom.

**_WHAT IN FUCK'S NAME HAVE I DONE!_**

* * *

Logan's true love for James was what eventually kept him from murdering the other in cold blood when they entered his bedroom, as the only fitting description for it now would be Scorched Earth. Logan's entire closet was emptied everywhere, not just the floor and bed, his desk had suffered a blow. Logan's carefully piled study notes were scattered on the floor mixed with clothes Logan didn't even recognize as his own.

"WHAT THE HELL DIAMOND!" He shouted fuelled with rage, James shrugged it off and turned the door over revealing the carefully placed outfit he had hanged on the other side.

"You're wearing this." James handed the hanger over to Logan it might have been the Holy grail in his eyes.

"Fine! But you're helping me clean up this mess." Logan pouted.

"The moment we come home, you have my word, now get dressed so I can marvel at my awesomeness."

Logan slowly started to dress, the only pieces that he recognized as his own were the black linen pants and the black leather shoes those were part of his church outfit. The origins of the white silk shirt that was actually a little tight and the black long cashmere coat with the gold trims were a mystery. As Logan finished putting the coat on, James dashed out to return with a bright red scarf, that he wrapped tenderly around Logan's neck.

"Perfect." James said in approval, adjusting the outfit around Logan's body.

"You look like a stuck up European prince." He continued with a wicked smile.

"Is that a good thing?" Logan asked feigning curiosity trying to stall James from putting the finishing touches, their bodies now had almost zero distance Logan's palms were sweating up.

_Screw everything I'm doing this..._

"I could eat you up..." James answered and the voice came out husky again.

**_Is he tilting his head?_**

"GUYS SHAKE A LEG! BRIANNA JUST CALLED!" Derek's shout from the living room broke the spell, the fairytale came crushing down around them, and Logan opened his eyes pupils' dilated and he pulled away from James scared and white as sheet. The warm breath that caressed his lips still lingered in the air. An inch. Barely an inch, an inch away from a kiss. Logan looked at James dumbfounded and James had actually lost all color.

Logan tried to say something, anything instead he choked on his own words. James though composed himself quickly.

"Let's go Loggie. You're driving us." James sounded distant now as he turned around and walked out of the room, rolling his sleeves down and grabbing his light brown jacket.

Logan walked out behind him, shaking with disappointment and frustration.

"Hey, prince charming, looking good!" Derek raised a hand for a high five. Logan tightened his fist so he could deck him.

"MOVE!" Logan shoved him instead, and Derek almost fell, he confusedly stared at Logan trying to figure what had pissed him off.

"Did James screw up again...?" He asked a little scared. Logan grabbed his car keys, wallet and his now charged phone from the kitchen table, he shook his head like a madman and was out the door without bothering with an answer.

"What did you do?" Derek demanded from James oblivious.

"MOVE!" James kicked him in the behind and pushed him to the exit.

"Alright, alright I'm moving Conan!"

They came down the stairs quickly, James mind wandered lost in guilt.

**_What am I doing? Leading on the poor guy like this. He tried to kiss me...Fuck I teased him on and on, and now he thinks he likes me. I can't do this. He barely has any self-esteem. I can't just fuck him and throw him away. He probably hasn't even had sex yet...No I can't do this to him he deserves a boyfriend. Not a one-night stand. Maybe I can try...Yeah that'll work because we have so many things in common! HA! It didn't work with that son of a bitch Kyle it's not going to work with Logan. The only difference is that I'll be Kyle this time. No, never! I'm not putting him though that! Never..._**

As James made his silent plans to distance himself Logan had decided to keep on fighting. He had Derek sit in the back of the car and nodded to James to sit next to him. James's answer was more out of reflex.

"Want to keep me in arms length don't you?" He immediately regretted saying it, especially after Logan gave him that cute little crook smile.

"You read my mind...now get in." Logan whispered eyes burning.

**_Fuck me!_**

James got in the car, Logan glanced on his rear view mirror to see that Derek was calling Brianna to inform her that they were on their way, and James fervently started to pull his window down in desperate need of fresh air. Logan turned the engine on, went to grab the shift stick he cupped James's thigh instead. James stared back stupefied.

"Oops. You're too big..." Logan smiled slyly at him.

James was ready to say something when Logan slammed his foot on the pedal, making the car roar, throwing the other two back on their seats.

"Sorry honey didn't mean to scream, Michael Schumacher is just trying to kill us over here!" Derek informed his girlfriend over the phone. James looked at Logan shaking his head violently.

**_Don't make me hurt you Mitchell..._**

_Yeah that's right baby, two can play this game..._

Logan eventually had to drive like a normal person, the simple fact that he had no idea where the restaurant was made him revert to his old docile self. He focused on Derek's instructions while James tweeted something of no importance with his phone.

Eventually they drove on a stone paved road illuminated by two lines of spotlights a square with a fountain in the middle and behind it a small yet luxurious restaurant. Before Logan drove into the parking lot Derek pointed at a small clearing that another car had already parked. Logan stopped the car there as he saw a young woman leaning against it.

Brianna wasn't beautiful, objectively speaking she was quite sort and her nose was a little big, her hair was too curly like she had been struck by lightning bolt, but she had an undisputed elegance, deep chocolate brown skin and when she smiled to Derek her eyes lit up. Derek on the other hand had a roguish charm he was a little shorter than James, with puffy cheeks and blond mop hair like a sort of gentle giant. As he exited the car and she fell into his arms Logan took a moment to see two people really in love his mind flashed back to his parents. James cupping his thigh brought him back to the present.

"Now we're even." He took off his seatbelt and went out the door.

_No we're not!_

Logan came out of the car vigorously, as Brianna let go of Derek and gave James a hug it was a funny sight since her head barely reached his waist.

"Hey! There's my fair lady." He lifted her up into a spin and she slapped his shoulder demanding to be returned to the ground. Logan was actually feeling jealous that it wasn't him in James's embrace.

"You're an oaf James Diamond. Bring me down this instant." James gave her another spin and she giggled like a school girl. Although her British accent certainly made her sound like she belonged to some private all-girls school.

_Maybe I can run all three of them over with the car. Derek for earlier, ruining my first kiss, Brianna for being all charming and exotic and James...It was a crime of passion your honor! NOT GUILTY!_

"And this fetching young man with the killer smile must be Logan." Brianna offered him a warm handshake Logan took it not wiping away his scheming grin that made James shiver.

"Shall we go inside?" Brianna offered, and led them towards the restaurant. The place had five star written all over it, marble floors and chandeliers, lily flowers and a string quartet, Logan was surprised to find out that it was actually bigger than it looked from the outside, there was a large terrace in the back looking over a seaside cliff.

Brianna gave the reception girl a hug, a warm hello to the barman, and even made small waves to the passing bus boys who returned them with flashing smiles going up and down carrying their trays. They reached a small corner table, Brianna actually led them herself, and she even pulled out Derek's seat for him. Logan was a little confused about the whole thing they seemed to be invisible to the serving staff.

"This place is a madhouse all by itself I am not going to drive my co-workers even crazier by stealing them away from actual paying customers." She winked at Logan.

"Let me go get the menus, and after we decide what we want I'll drop the orders I want to say hello to the kitchen stuff too." She left the now seated men behind and quickly vanished.

"Isn't she adorable?" Derek was all smiles but Logan was too lost staring around the restaurant and James was tweeting away with his phone, the smile vanished, he was now boiling.

"Alright seriously did you two have another fight?" Derek demanded to know.

They stared at each other nervously for a second Logan shook his head James denied it they were both hiding something that much Derek could tell.

"Fine, you had a fight over something stupid again and you don't want to tell me. But please don't ruin this. Brianna and I don't go out much during school season and I haven't seen her in a month." That brought them back to their senses. James tucked his phone away and Logan gave Derek an apologetic smile. Brianna handed them the menus as soon as she returned, Logan almost squealed when he saw the price tags.

"We're seriously not paying for anything?" Brianna nodded her head.

"Yes Logan, I drove the manager's wife to the hospital when she fell pregnant off the stairs, he's giving me free reign over the place every other week. That and I work like a slave almost no days off. Order away." She reassured, Logan studied the menu, trying to remember anything he knew from high class cuisine and for the first time he looked kind of lost because he had no knowledge on the subject.

"I'll have the sirloin steak, Logan will have the escalope of veal sauté.'' James told Brianna handing both menus over to her. Logan gave him a confounded look.

"Trust me, I know these things." The grin James gave him made his mind race back to the kiss that got away and Logan made a face and bit his lips angrily, Derek was going through his menu missing it, Brianna though raised her eyebrows. After they were set and Brianna dropped the orders she came back with a waiter in tow who brought them refreshment drinks and set the table properly.

"I'll hand these out now so James won't knock a filled table over." She grabbed her purse and took one large and one smaller gift pack out, giving the small one to the bouncing clapping toddler that James had transformed himself. He carefully took out the wrapping, which Logan found weird, and saw an onyx box with Indian words engraved with red stones around it. James's jaw dropped, Derek rolled his eyes Brianna bit her lip in anticipation and when Logan saw James put his lucky comb carefully in the little treasure box, he had to put both hands over his mouth to hold down the laughter.

"And this is Logan's welcome gift." Logan looked at her confused he thought the second gift was for Derek, but then again she probably gave it to him yesterday in private.

"You didn't have to, you don't even know me." He refused to take the gift, but Brianna insisted.

"Derek spoke highly of you over our video chats and I thought living with him you are going to need it." She pointed a finger over to James who made a pout.

"And it's nothing special it's pretty much a tourist item." She handed the gift over to Logan, who unwrapped it to find a book with the title "Indian Prayers and Proverbs" on the cover he blushed thanking her with his little crooked smile making something stir inside of James.

"The only Indian book that I've ever read is the Kama Sutra, I could lend it over to you Loggie if you want..." James shot his mouth smugly breaking the mood, Derek actually laughed, Logan dropped the book flailing and Brianna kicked James under the table.

"James David Diamond I know for a fact that mother of yours taught you better manners." Brianna said with a borderline malicious tone, and if Logan wasn't bending over to pick up his book he would have seen that Derek's eyes popped out and James grabbed the tablecloth in an attempt to stop himself from killing her.

The food was served shortly after and the tension was killed as both James and Logan bombarded Brianna with questions about India. James wanted to know about Bollywood and the Taj Majal Logan wanted to know about everything else. Her answers weren't exactly detailed and soon she didn't have much more to say, so she changed the subject.

"So, Logan med-school, if my parents weren't so set that I go into law I'd love to study medicine. Do you know what field you are going to pursue?" Brianna asked as she sipped her whine, James knowing that he wasn't going to enjoy this conversation fell silent.

"No idea actually so many choices…cardio, oncologist, brain surgeon, I'll probably pick during my residency." Logan started to trail off.

"We're eating." James stuffed his mouth annoyed.

"Go on Logan ignore him. What was your college entrance rank anyway?" She asked, making Logan play with his fork nervously.

"I came in first..." He finally mumbled cheeks flushed red.

"You never said anything! DUDE!" Derek and Brianna both gaped James looked like a cloud had started to rain on his head.

**_See James, the guy's a genius. I was right no chance with him at all, too good for me. I have to stop shooting my mouth. REALLY STOP. Look at him he's so cute and humble, if I had accomplished something like that I'd probably tattoo it on my chest. Brianna is ordering congratulatory champagne. CRAP. I can't stay here. Derek will go sleep over at her place I'll go home with Logan all tipsy, and then I'll ruin him. I need a distraction._**

James scanned the room quickly picking a desirable target. He lifted himself up garnering confusing looks from the rest of the table.

"I'll be right back." Before anyone could say anything James walked over towards the bar. Logan saw that two girls close to their age were having drinks. They looked like models or actresses or spoiled heiresses, whatever, they were really vultures swooping and eating Logan alive. Logan couldn't turn away even when his heart twisted in agony, warning him that it was breaking. The women looked at James jaded at first but that didn't last, soon he had them laughing and blushing and giving each other sly looks. Logan felt the tears come, he'd rather die than let them fall.

_It hurts, my chest, I can't breathe...it's dad's funeral all over again...can't breathe...I need air, I need to leave, body is not moving! Is this a panic attack? Why are you doing this to me? You know I want you and you're throwing me away.. Liar! You promised to take care of me... you wanted to kiss me, you had too I know you did... I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!_

"Get that skirt-chasing rude friend of yours back here right this instant!" Brianna ordered Derek.

"On it!" He stood up furious with James, and walked over ready to drag him back kicking and screaming if he had to. Brianna made sure that neither Derek nor James where looking back to their table when she grabbed Logan by the hand and dragged him to a broom closet. Logan didn't realize what had happened he started to mumble about leaving the table empty and about the champagne that was on its way, but when he felt comforting arms around his waist pulling him for a hug he let the ground swallow him. Finally he let his tears fall.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." His voice was all broken and Brianna shushed him gently.

"Not your fault, relax, breathe..." She cooed rubbing his back.

Logan tried to stop his crying but he didn't know how to do it. Brianna cradled his face in her hands and spoke with a clear-cut tone.

"Logan, look at me, I don't know what stupid things James Diamond did to you to make you cut yourself up like this but you have to know you can stop this, it's in your hands." He shook his head refusing to listen.

"Logan please, focus for a moment, you barely know James you are confused and scared, and I know you feel like you are drowning but you need to detach yourself and take a step back. It's hard, seems impossible especially when James throws that arrogant mask away and gives you the entire world on your feet only to take it back seconds later. He's just as lost as the rest of us believe me; he's doing this as a defense mechanism okay? But you deserve better treatment than this I can see that, so please stop you're hurting yourself dove. There, there, all better now everything is going to be okay." She patted his back and wiped his tears. Logan gave a small smile of gratitude and felt his breathing settle.

"Just don't forget, you know how they say follow your heart? Well, I say bring your judgment right along for the road you just have to figure which one has to lead depending on the situation." She let him go and fixed his now wrinkled clothes.

"Thank you." Logan said before reaching for the door. She grabbed him by the arm before going out.

"Don't say anything. Follow my lead." They made their way back to the table where Derek and James had already returned, Derek had already drunk half of his champagne glass James didn't touch his.

"Where were you?" Derek asked Brianna kissed him sighing, making a mental note to beat the naivety out of him one day. Logan took his seat next to James; he even gave him a smile not knowing how he managed that.

"I'm sorry I just had a fight with the manager. It seems we have to pay for at least half the food and the champagne." She lied through her teeth, Derek made a panicky face, and Logan turned to check on James anticipating one of his rage tantrums. Instead James took out a check book from his coat.

"How much?" He asked composed.

"One thousand and two hundred dollars." She answered, James asked for a pen and Brianna quickly handed one apologizing once again, Logan started to think that it wasn't funny anymore but she threw him a wink calming him. James was ready to sign that's when Brianna gave the coup de grace.

"Keep your money rich boy. I'm lying." She laughed and so did Derek despite himself, but James banged the check book on the table obviously pissed. Logan shrugged it off. James used to model he had money, big deal. It was when he saw the cover of the check book that he was taken in by surprise. Diamond Cosmetics.

He stared eyes fixed on James who fumbled and returned the check book in his coat pocket.

"Not funny." His tone was cold but Brianna was unfazed.

"Oh, I'm sorry would you like to return to your lady friends?" She shot venom.

"God I missed you." James smiled warmly and she returned it. Logan decided to drop the question in his mind.

_How rich is James anyway..._

Derek raised up his glass for a toast the others followed suit, even James.

* * *

They said their good nights in front of their cars, Derek was waiting for Brianna in hers she was hugging Logan for dear life.

"Remember you need reinforcements call me I'll be there." She assured him.

"I'll put you on speed dial." He said in gratitude with the crooked smile curled on his lips, they both jumped up scared at the booming sound of Logan's horn.

"Move it Loggie!" James hissed from his seat.

"Here goes..." He let Brianna go and got into the car.

"Hey, you didn't need to do that, it's still 00.30. You won't miss your beauty sleep."

"What beauty sleep? We have to clean your room remember?" James grinned.

"You don't need to help." Logan said flatly.

"I clean my messes up. Besides I promised." Logan didn't say anything he just drove off.

_I'll try to do what Brianna said. Take a step back, see the whole picture. That's what I wanted to do from the beginning anyway. No pressure, no attachment. Take him off the pedal stole get to know him. Be his friend. Don't let him sweep you off your feet._

"Logan are we going to talk about what almost happened in your bedroom?" James was a ball of nerves but felt he needed to clear this up. For Logan.

_Or I could just drive us into the first truck I see. NO RELAX! BREATHE! You can do this._

"Nothing to talk about. Nothing happened. I'd appreciate if you could stop with the heavy flirting though." Neither looked at the other, Logan fixed his eyes on the dark road ahead James pinned his gaze out of the window and to the fast changing scenery.

"I'll do that. But Logan just to be clear, you are fucking gorgeous. Any guy would be lucky to have you." James now faced Logan, and Logan stole a glance from the rear view mirror. Their eyes met there was still fire.

**_One last time. I clear things up and let him go. Be his friend, he needs friends. He's a person, an amazing sensitive smart gorgeous guy. He just can't be mine. Let him go now before it's too late._**

"Thanks." Logan genuinely smiled, no hidden emotions and body wrecking lust. Knowing that James could see him like that even for a moment was enough for now.

* * *

As they climbed up the building stairs Logan took off the cashmere coat and handed it over to James. James was about to say something but shook his head and took it. Their hands brushed. Static caused from the friction of the coat ran through them.

"How about I sleep in Derek's room tonight and we clean up tomorrow? After our jog?" Logan bit his lower lip as James was unlocking the door with his back turned on him.

"You still want to run together?" James asked and he realized his palms were sweating up; they came into the dark apartment. Logan struggled with the answer.

"Will you behave?" he asked instead, he searched for the living room light switch, so did James, their hands brushed again the electricity hit them once more but this time it wasn't because of any static.

"I'll try." James promised in his husky voice, they found the switch neither of them turned it they just left their fingers stay there almost intertwining.

"I'll get you a bagel if you're a good boy." Logan didn't believe his ears, his tone was now the same as James's.

"I'll really try...Goodnight Loggie. I'll wake you around six to see you sweat." James moved away and went up to his bead.

_I can do this. Got it in the bag._

A tumble a thud and a painful scream later.

"LOGAN DID YOU HURT YOURSELF!" James bellowed in the darkness.

"I'm fine... I ran into the coffee table legs."

"Dork!"

"SHUT UP JAMES!"


	6. Chapter 6

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise more sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Yesterday was my birthday! So I ask shamelessly that you review! Birthday wishes go to the PM box if you like, reviews to the reviews page! And I'm not talking about my adorable "usual suspects" I'm talking to you people that have put the story in Author Alert and favorites and haven't reviewed because I counted the e-mail alerts and there are like 30 of you and I'm dying to know if you are still reading or liking the story. Yes today I'll be the shallow jerk you can even bash my head about it! So I'm throwing you guys a bone and a boner! (And Jagan is officially writing this story by themselves now because I'm just clicking the keyboard buttons!) **

Logan couldn't sleep in Derek's room, the bed was fine but the sheets smelled of incense and the pillow was too flat and he felt that the hundred photos pinned on the wall were staring and judging him especially Brianna's. So he got up an hour after his first attempt and went back to his own bed. He sheepishly picked the scattered clothes and made a pile in the closet, he didn't pick them all just the ones on the bed and the notes were still scattered but his body needed rest. So he finally collapsed falling into dreamland.

It seemed like a moment later when he woke up, his unconscious mind was playing games with him because he opened his eyes a quarter to six. In fifteen minutes James would be tapping on his door to wake him up for their first jog. He chuckled nervously thinking about it now, it was a bad, a terribly bad idea.

_Bonding time my ass!_

James was sure to try not to flirt the worry and care he displayed on their return home last night were both heartfelt and honest that much Logan knew, but then again James was only human he proved that too. And so was Logan for that matter, there was going to be tension and nerve wrecking lust and a heart that would pound like a hammer. He had to relieve himself somehow make the stress go away so he could look James in the eyes, he had do to something to keep his dirty mind in check. Those eyes those beautiful hazel eyes filled with heat and promises, Logan bit his lower lip. He thought of James's lips and the warm breath that he wanted so much to run into his body. James's body a god's body sculpted to perfection, naked and on top of him long fingers trailing down Logan's heaved chest going down slow, lower and lower. Logan's hand went under his pajama pants under his boxer's waist band. The glowing sweaty James that had taken over his mind fell on him filling his mouth with his tongue biting and nipping his neck, Logan fisted his fingers around himself. He whispered James's name and the other started to ask teasing questions about what Logan wanted how much how hard, Logan started thrusting himself. James was now lifting Logan's legs into the air placing them over his muscled shoulders, he violently pulled him closer, and Logan's pace was now faster, any second now. James was fire and force, Logan wanted force and when his mind finally reached the moment where James was going to ram him violently, Logan's orgasm exploded everywhere, his palm, his chest, the bed.

_Fuck. Fuck that was good..._

There should be shame Logan thought as his body settled down, but he just didn't care looking down on his cum filled hand.

_Best jerk off of my life._

He smiled with himself as he picked a few moist tissues from his nightstand cleaning his hand and upper body, maybe a quick shower was in order. He leisurely found his gym shirt and his sweatpants in the heap of clothes and whistling he turned the doorknob. He saw James squishing various fruits with a juicer by the kitchen counter muscles flexed and in another tank top. Logan smiled slyly but he was all relaxed.

"Good morning Mr. Diamond."

"Hey... I was ready to come and wake you up. Want some juice?" James was still half asleep and all adorable. Logan had a small laughing attack brought out by the question.

"No I'm fine, going to the bathroom be back in a few." He turned to leave whistling.

"Ok we have half an hour, take your time." James started humming a song and returned to the task at hand.

* * *

They reached the nearby large park discussing Logan's work out regime James made comments here and there on the things he approved and not. As expected he soon asked Logan to subscribe to his gym. Logan turned him down politely at first but that didn't last.

"For the last time, I start school the day after tomorrow. Let me at least settle in." James had pushed the subject far enough to irritate him now.

"No because if I don't make you change your mind now there is no way you'll do it later." They started doing a few warm up exercises Logan pretended he wasn't listening.

"Come on Loggie, it's good for you." James continued to plead.

"No." Logan said decisively he tried mixing the crook smile with a furious gaze to make James back down, it didn't work.

"Come on do it for me..." James's voice was begging but his smile was smug, certain of victory.

"No, and no bagel for you either!" Logan started to ran slowly down the stone cobbled path smirking, leaving James crushed behind him.

"Logan wait up." James snapped himself out from the feelings of defeat and quickly ran next to him.

Under the endless lines of trees whose leaves were slowly turning brown, Logan and James ran next to each other taking in long breaths, feeling the burning grip their chests, building a pace steady and vivid, soon the endorphins hit they both smiled happy. They peeked up speed James took lead his long legs covered more ground kicking dirt and dust behind him, soon Logan was left behind and he was hit by a wave of sadness but before it could sink in he called out to James.

"Hey! Let me catch up to you." James almost fell to a complete stop and he let Logan slide next to him again. They unknowingly became one, their hearts and breathing even their sweat was now in synch. They never noticed it, blinded by desire to keep on going, too scared to look at each other and risk the moment, they pushed ahead lost and free. It was just the two of them, in a reality of their very own the other people around them simple didn't exist. They refused to stop until the morning sun was burning in the sky and their bodies writhed with pain unable to continue.

"How...long were...we running...?" Logan was gripping his knees body aching he tried desperately to return to the real world so he could hear James's answer.

"About...an hour...more..." James wanted to collapse on the grass like he was a tower hit by cannon balls. He gave Logan his water bottle after drinking half in one gulp, Logan grabbed it desperately and he swallowed the rest.

"We... need ...to...stop...breakfast..." James said his stomach a mad beast hungry and howling.

"Ok..." Logan's heart told him otherwise wanting to dive into bliss again, his body and mind refused to follow. After drilling their torn bodies to press on they walked towards the park's exit.

* * *

The place with the bagels was too far for them to reach, grudgingly they settled for the coffee shop nearest to their home, returning to the apartment and let reality fully settle was out of the question. They ordered the same food and hot cups of coffee. They picked a table outside risking a cold but not wanting to be confined. They sat opposite each other and their brains started to rake trying to find a conversation subject that wouldn't kill the mood. So they ate in silence until even that became awkward.

"So you haven't told me much about your modeling and acting carriers." Logan had an epiphany.

James suddenly lifted his head from his plate with an excited face.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well what are your goals, how long have you being studying, where would you like to work...?" Logan kept on going on without really stopping and James started to laugh giving him a gesture to settle down.

"What, I'm curious?" Logan exclaimed.

"Yeah I get it, let me take it from the top. I started working in modeling way back when I was in diapers. For a few years it was like a game you know, it was like going to daycare but instead of me coloring pictures people colored me. All the grownups kept on doing what I wanted as long as I stopped moving for the moment they had to take the shot and smiled big for the camera." James actually looked happy recounting his early childhood, Logan found it a little disturbing but he kept it to himself nodding his head encouraging him to continue.

"Anyway as the years flew by it was such a normal thing to do for me that when I had to choose between going to school like a regular kid and modeling I picked modeling. So there were a few hours of home schooling, which I hated by the way, and full days when I could be whatever I wanted to be, a cowboy , a superhero, a knight. And later as I grew up and realized that people recognized me on the street as that kid from that ad or commercial I sort of flipped. I wanted them to know my name. Kid just wasn't good enough." James read Logan's disapproving eyes and broke into laughter.

"Of course it went to my head Logan what did you expect?" He formed into words one of the two things Logan was thinking.

"And before you ask, yes my parents were the ones that got me into it, although my dad soon wanted me to stop." That was when Logan finally saw some sadness in the corner of James's eyes.

"And your mom?" James sighed and took a moment before answering.

"Look Logan I know you saw the check book yesterday, you're smart and you've probably figured it out already but I don't come from a typical familial caring household." James sounded ashamed; Logan quickly without thinking about it rested his hand on top of James's closed nervous fist.

"You don't have to say anything." James stared at the crook smile and the puppy eyes and smiled warmly.

"My mom's a bitch." He said in a matter of fact way watching Logan taken aback from the crude language.

"She is, really, at first she was all supporting for the modeling carrier, she even booked me jobs using her contacts..." Logan looked all confused about that statement.

"Oh God, Logan you really have no idea! I thought you knew from the check. Diamond Cosmetics, 3rd largest cosmetic company in the U.S.A." Instead of Logan James was the one surprised because Logan didn't react, he just nodded like everything about James made sense now.

"Anyway, during my teens when I started taking the modeling thing seriously she stopped caring. Just stopped, like somebody flipped a switch and turned my bitchy condescending strict harpy of a mother, who used to drill me every single day about manners and business and how people of our status should act, into the fucking Snow Queen." He was angry now, shaking, Logan just grabbed his hand and didn't let go.

"Dad saw it coming, he was out when I was ten didn't ask her for a dime and trust me she has money, he wanted me to go with him. I couldn't let go of the luxury back then, we barely talk now. It was during my third or fourth runaway when it hit me, mom had stopped calling to see if I was eating right or sleeping or even check on my work. She was barely there before, she had a rising company to care for, and she stopped completely after our first fight." James felt good now unburdening, it wasn't the first time, he used to do it with almost anyone he could trust, people he hardly even knew and most of the time with very few exceptions it always bit him in the back. But looking at Logan and the serious face he had, he could see a lot of things, sympathy, understanding, worry even anger, pity just wasn't one of them. No, Logan didn't pity him and he would never hurt him purposely either.

"So I started to fool around, I had three choices, sex, drugs and booze. I chose sex." James cracked a smile, Logan removed his arm shaking his head but grinning.

"So I had sex and loads of it, I called Brooke, that's her name, and bragged about it. The only thing she said to me, I swear was, have fun! She didn't even bitch about a condom." Both of them broke into nervous laughter, it was that or boarding a plane to track her down.

"Then I started wasting money on things, that didn't work either, she sends me a new check book every year, she changed my trust fund to a regular account, gave me the savings from my modeling work anything to get me off her hair. And two years ago..." He paused two years ago he met Kyle and actually fell in love, got backstabbed and manipulated and heartbroken. But Logan didn't need to know that. There was a line that James wasn't ready to cross yet.

"I needed to get out of modeling, it just wasn't good enough anymore. But I still wanted it, the fame, and people to know me. I worked too damn hard to give it up. And then it hit me what I loved most about modeling were the roles, the stories behind the pictures. I dropped everything moved here got into a private acting school. And guess what, Brooke hates it. It's my entire world now." He beamed and saw his happiness reflect on Logan.

"There is so much I love about acting, everyday, something else is challenging me, getting to learn my lines with the right pronunciation, going underneath the skin of characters and their hidden motives. I love to sing and dance, learning the difference between theater and television. People get to see you bring out all these things from inside of you or you reflect them and you captivate them and I can't stop, I won't until I get to do everything from comedy to period, from Oscars to Cannes." Logan believed him. He saw James's star burning bright into his heart, now realizing what was so captivating about him; he was real after all not a dreamlike man but a man with a dream. He fell in love with him all over again because that was the real James Diamond and how could he not love him.

"You're quiet, aren't you going to ask me anything?" James said all serious.

"Oh, I have just one thing to ask really, were you going to wait for me to see the leash contract or would you have told me before hand that you actually own the apartment?" Logan declared with his own version of the smug smile. James raised his eyebrows astonished.

"Fuck. Where did I slip?" He bit his lip a little scared with Logan's answer.

"Well, for starters the place is too big for the small rent you ask, you obviously have the money to live by yourself, and you said you're a spender but I already knew that. So, if I had to make a guess you're used to people around you, met Derek somewhere started living together, then came Brianna so you wanted someone new cause you got lonely because they spend all their free time with each other, and Derek could use the back up to deal with your spoiled ass." James's face had turned all shades of red if this was Russian roulette he'd be dead by now.

"You're not mad with me?"

"No James, I'm not, just happy to see that you can trust people after the life you led." The warmth in Logan's smile made James's heart do a somersault.

"If we don't change the subject I'll start flirting." James teased and Logan shook his head.

"No, this is good, what we're doing here, opening up, it's good." Now Logan felt nervous because the next logical thing James would say would be...

"Your turn." James leaned back relaxed on his chair, Logan wanted to run again.

* * *

"Nothing to tell really you know most of it by now, geeky nerd, momma's boy, first year med-student. The End." He wiped his hands with the napkin and turned to stand, James took immediate action.

"You forgot gentle, understanding, adorable, smart, most fuckable man I've ever laid my eyes on." James threw him the dirtiest of looks that had Logan pinned back on his chair.

"JAMES!" Logan shouted making some morning passers-by stop and stare at therm.

"Logan, if you don't take this seriously then neither will I. I want to know you, be your friend." His conviction was what made Logan change his mind in the end.

"Fine. What do you want to know?" But he already knew the answer; Logan was smart, too smart for his own good.

"Well you mention your mom a lot you talk daily right?" The right thing for Logan to do in this situation would be to nod, his neck had turned stiff though, and he felt his heart plummet.

"What about your dad?" James asked but by then it had sort of slipped out he knew by Logan's pale face he shouldn't have said it.

"Alright before I start let's clear something up. When we met, no every single day we know each other we say something dumb and argue right?" Logan looked at him face solemn but voice clear.

"I think it's our turn on." A lame attempt from James made to break the tension, he failed miserably.

"So I want you to remember that we're getting to know each other now, and for God's name let me say that I hold no resentment." James was worried now he had said something stupid during one of their fights something very, very stupid.

"My dad, he died about four years ago." James was the one who was shaking, the one who had tears building up in his eyes Logan was used to it, saying that he was fatherless. From new neighbors to teachers, even the handyman that came to fix the sink. Like the entire human race did it on purpose, asked constantly to talk to his father, or how proud his dad would be that Logan won the blue ribbon on the science fair. If his dad was around the poor boy wouldn't have had his arm broken right before graduation. The gay orphan freak, run to mommy freak.

"Logan the car..." James couldn't finish the question he was too ashamed.

"I don't blame you. You didn't know. I don't blame you." James wanted to get up, grab Logan, hold him tight, hide him and protect him. The world was too filthy and cruel it didn't deserve him, and because James felt that he didn't either he just wiped his tears and found the courage to apologize again.

"I'm so sorry Logan, I insulted, you, your dad, I'm so sorry." Logan stood up he went to James's side, he fell on one knee, took his hand in his own again. They were alone once more in their own little place cut away from the universe.

"It's okay, really James, everything's okay." How could he stay mad at him, the only other person in the world outside his family that ever cared for him like this?

"You made me breakfast. Remember?" And they laughed even though sadness was right above them hanging like a cloud, they laughed.

Logan got up, but instead of going back to his chair he dragged it over to sit next to James, they looked together at the street across them, cars starting to pile in morning traffic.

"Want to talk about him?" James asked smiling in anticipation to hear about the great people who raised Logan, the man that James grew to love with every passing second. He understood Logan's mother would be just as important to the story as his father was.

"Yeah, I do." Logan gave out a sigh, a little sad, a little lovelorn.

"Well first thing I got to say about him, he had a ridiculous name. One that for some reason I got stuck with as a middle name. And if you laugh I'm going to struggle you." He made himself clear warning James about the dire consequences.

"I worked with a photographer named Tuchi once." James started to laugh by himself, Logan interrupted.

"Hortanse." He coughed.

"Your dad was named Hortanse?" James asked in disbelief.

"Yeah." Logan threw James a menacing side glance.

"You are Logan Hortanse Mitchell?" James asked smiling.

"Yes." Logan cracked his fingers.

"Go on." Logan looked at James surprised, he was still smiling but he wasn't laughing.

"Tuchi wore a red wig to hide his baldness." James explained Logan broke into a full cackling laughter. He composed himself shortly and then really started his narration.

"Well as far back as I can remember I didn't have any friends, no wait I had one during preschool, I can't even remember his name, he had bushy eyebrows though, he moved out of town soon enough. Anyway even though I tried coming out of my shell numerous times it just didn't happen. I got all flustered or started to stutter or I just started acting plain weird. I couldn't have a regular conversation with anyone my age. I think Derek and Brianna are the first people I've felt comfortable with. What's with that look?" Logan stopped seeing James biting his lip.

"I don't make you feel comfortable do I?" James pouted.

"James we are trying to kill the weirdness between us, stop acting like a kid."James continued to pout. Logan thought of patting him like he was some sort of dog but refrained himself.

"Anyway the only thing I loved about school was losing myself in books and homework. I wanted to be an astronaut like every other boy my age so I read every book I could get my hands to. Not just about the solar system and rockets I soon found myself trying to understand what was quantum mechanics and what that had to do with space travel." Logan kept chuckling remembering that ridiculous fortress of books he had built for himself.

"Wait how old were you again exactly?" James was now a little flushed.

"Six or seven. And don't worry I just read a book on quantum, didn't get a thing out of it. If I had I'd be in NASA by now, either running it as director or prodded for being an alien." Logan laughed James didn't it was a lame joke anyway.

"So after deciding that space was too cold and far away from home I kept on reading and reading about other things that caught my eye and when I say other things I mean everything. Math, history, biology, I was just happy to learn. My parents saw me lock myself in my bedroom for hours upon hours until they had to bring me dinner in a tray reminding me that I had to eat eventually. They finally took a stand one summer. I had become too quiet and introverted locked up refusing to go outside so they took action. They were sneaky about it too." Logan giggled fondly; James took note he had to store that information of how to snap Logan out of his study frenzy for later use.

"First came church, we weren't exactly that religious but one Sunday mom woke me up and dragged me to church. I didn't hate it, didn't exactly love it either but being in a room full of people that didn't give me looks of contempt and scorn for simply being quiet like the kids in school did make me feel peaceful. Dad used my own passion against me, he started taking me to museums and exhibits, we finished anything my hometown had to offer in a week so dad just started the car and we did the same thing to the next town and the next, until we started making plans for hitting the next state." Logan spoke excitedly James tried not to let the jealousy of having parents that actually tried show in his face.

"Then mom would take me to the movies or rent something so we could all watch it, hauled up in the couch passing the pop corn around in circles until the tub was empty. And we didn't just watch Bambi and the Lion King we watched Casablanca and Space Odyssey because she knew I liked big serious movies too. Just to make sure I didn't completely lose my childhood dad unburied his old comic collection just so I could read something more appropriate for my age. I loved it, Superman, the X-men and Batman totally ruled because if anything happened to my parents like that..." He stopped himself remembering his childhood promises of wearing a cape and protecting his parents with his life. James didn't do anything he just looked at him silently and let him pick himself up. He knew now that Logan was stronger to allow self-pity to stop him.

"We had board games and dinner nights were we couldn't do anything but laugh. We went to visit family we hadn't seen in years. Dad played the piano until the neighbors called the police." James made a face.

"He played the piano?" Logan nodded.

"Yeah, he was a musician used to be in a jazz band that's how he met my mom she saw him play in a small club, fell madly in love. They had to elope, they were really too young to start a family, my grandparents were against it." Logan knew how corny his parents were it made him love them even more.

"God they sound awesome." James beamed no jealousy, just relief that Logan was happy and didn't look like he carried the entire weight of the world on his shoulders at least once upon a time. Then he had a question.

"What about the bullying? Didn't they know? "Logan turned his head to face the pavement.

"They knew about some of it. They tried everything from busting like mad into the principal's office to angry calls to the bullies parents, they even called a lawyer to press charges. I stopped them it made things worse at school so I stopped them." James was now angry, his face constricted with fury.

"What were you, some kind of masochist Mitchell? You should have left them rip those assholes heads off!" Logan saw James's burning eyes and the image of James standing triumphant over the shredded bodies of his tormentors flashed in his mind, it made him feel jubilant and ashamed at the same time.

"It was a good public school; I wanted to be a doctor by the time the beatings got rough so I didn't want to change schools. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction, even though my parents tried to change my mind various times." Logan filled his lungs with air he had finally reached his mid-teen years he was close to that day now.

"So that was my life, school and reading and dotting sappy parents, then it happened, dad died." Logan felt James's wrap a strong arm around his shoulders it was comforting and calmed his heart.

"I was with mom. We were out for groceries we went to have some ice cream after. Called dad to tell him we were going to ran late. He took the chance to change the curtains in the living room. To surprise mom, he did things like that, small things all the time. He was up the attic trying to find the ladder he slipped and fell back broke through the window...he..." Tears fell uncontrollable now. Logan remembered the call and his mom's panicked face as she grabbed him and drove like all Hell was chasing her back to the house. The flashing red lights from the ambulance car, his mom fainting, him howling like a stray dog, the paramedics, the people gathering around, he was so small, his dad was so still, so broken.

"So stupid...he died so stupid..." Logan let his head rest in James's shoulder. James started to stroke his head.

They lost track of the time again, James didn't move he was never going to let Logan go not until Logan wanted to. He cursed at life silently for doing this to Logan, his Logan deserved happiness and it only gave him grief. That thought woke him up Logan didn't belong to him. James was too stupid and scared to make a claim. It made him pull away slowly after making sure Logan had no more tears left to shed.

"Did your dad know you're gay?" James asked hoping for Logan to say yes, Logan shot the crooked smile, and James somehow knew he got it from his father.

"He told me I was." James made a face that was just plain weird.

"I never looked at girls, well, not in that funny sort of way and dad noticed it while I hadn't. So we were watching TV one afternoon, well, he was watching on the couch I was reading on the floor mom was in the kitchen making dinner. It was an army movie about a guy that wanted to be a marine, I wasn't paying much attention, not until the cadets started to ran shirtless in the rain, I looked up and I must have done something, licked my lips or drooled, I don't know. Dad saw me and started laughing; I had a small heart attack. He looked at me like nothing happened. Good for you son, I swear he even sounded proud. Of course I started spazzing and he started making jokes, told me to take my time and make sure before I told mom she wasn't going to get grandchildren. So I called him a name and stormed out of the living room." Logan giggled it was the closest thing they had to a fight.

"Since then every time we were alone he joked about it. Like, we were driving down the street and there was a cute guy walking on the side walk and dad would point at him and ask if I found him hot. It was embarrassing at first but it made me notice that I did like men and dad drilled it in my head that it was nothing to be ashamed off. He told me he made out once with a guy during college he said it was fun, just not his thing. But since I never liked girls that way I shouldn't let the opportunity slip out of fear because I could miss on my true love or something. And he couldn't imagine life without me and mom so he tried to make sure I would allow myself to fall for someone." Logan turned his head and faced James.

_Found him dad, this is my guy. I know he is just like you told me I would. I just don't know how to make him love me._

"I told mom almost a year after he died. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. She actually freaked out about it, screamed at me. I left the house running she came after me hugged me and apologized. Swore she didn't mean it. Swore that dad would have been just as proud as her. I told her he knew and she started to laugh. She should have known better, she told me. The rest you know I finished school with a big fight trying to make my parents proud failed miserably at it, mom did actually press charges that time. The guys that beat me got expelled we even got some settlement money out of it. I came here to find an apartment I didn't want to live on campus people scare the shit out of me. Saw the ad thought I could take a few baby steps and try living with a roommate. And then I met your infuriating ass." Logan smiled James had an inquiring look.

"You didn't mention any boyfriends." James now had a worried expression Logan gulped.

"Well, you didn't either." He tried to sound coy, James didn't buy it.

"I told you I slept around, I still do, you even told me about your dad's little experiment, but you skipped your own." James's instinct on this was right on the money.

"I haven't had any boyfriends. I told you people freak me out." Logan was now moving his chair slowly away from James preparing himself to lie at the next obvious question.

"Logan have you ever been kissed?" James tried to sound loving, worried, curious. He just sounded plain horny.

_LIE! DAMN IT! LIE!_

"No..."

_YOU ARE NOT LYING!_

"I knew it." James shook his head frustrated.

"So big deal. I've never been kissed don't make a thing out of this." Here they were falling to their default roles again Logan scared that James was going to drive him crazy and James not satisfied until he had his way.

"No it is a big deal." James looked at Logan straight in the eyes trying to make him read his mind.

**_It is a big deal because even if I can never have you because I'll end up making you miserable I won't allow any other fucking bastard on the planet taste those lips before I do._**

"Logan how do you even know you're gay if you haven't even kissed a guy!" James started to pressure, logical arguments maybe Logan could go with it.

"I know what I am James, you of all people should get that you just know this things." Like Logan just knew he was really stalling the inevitable.

"Well I didn't, not until my first."

**_Which was when I was barely fifteen but I'm not telling you that._**

"So what are you saying James that I need to screw around like you?" Logan didn't want to insult but then again to James that wasn't much of an insult.

"Or you could just kiss someone for the experience and make sure." James grinned like a fox that had entered the chicken coop unnoticed.

**_Check genius._**

"James you're not offering to kiss me are you? I thought we were on the same page. Try to be friends." Logan's voice was kind of sad now, James just wanted to make out with him and he found some stupid excuse to do it.

"Logan don't you want to find true love like your dad wanted you to? You need to make sure, he told you that remember. I just want to help. Don't want to see you hurt yourself chasing after the wrong person. Trust me I've done it. It hurts." Now Logan looked into the hazel eyes and he saw them overflow with care and love, and he could recognize it too, his parents taught him well.

"But things could end up weird again like last night."

_I'm just too scared, too damn scared..._

"I care for you Loggie. You're my friend. I'd rather die than hurt you." James put one arm around Logan's shoulders and pulled him closer, Logan didn't fight it, didn't want to, he wasn't remotely strong enough.

"If you really don't want to kiss me tell me now and I'll stop." James had his free hand brush Logan's cheek and then he saw him close his eyes tilting forward a victorious smile took over James's mouth.

**_And mate my love._**

Their lips touched gently closed at first, they let their breaths mingle in the air, James moved a little slowly to make Logan open his mouth, succeeding easily he dived his tongue in. He found Logan resisting to kiss back. Logan's tongue was stiff and inexperienced. James faked a moan of pleasure just to reassure Logan. That woke him up, Logan finally kissed back, their tongues started battling for dominance, they explored each other's mouths like they were endless caverns, tasting each other, they both tasted like coffee and sugar and something that's just them and it's that last taste that has them craving for more. Logan started to pant; he threw the previously loose hanging arms around James's neck pulling him closer because he just wasn't as close as he wants him. They were out of breath soon, they had to stop, neither wanted to let go first because they were in Heaven and they didn't want to fall but their bodies like when they jogged earlier betrayed them, they needed air. James pulled away Logan just hanged there still, wanting more he opened his eyes to see James smiled like the natural son of a bitch he was born to be, instead of being angry Logan smiled back.

"I knew you were gay." James said trying to hold in the laughter.

"Funny." Logan didn't care how arrogant James is he just wanted to kiss him again but he doesn't allow it, he pulls away now because it's easier to stop. But just barely.

"So no weird feelings?" James was not sure what he wanted to hear.

"No, you kiss well though." Logan wasn't lying, he wanted more but he's not a selfish person neither was he scared or sad. Not after James had just kissed everything away.

"Thanks, can't say the same about you though I've had better." James was lying, yes physically he has had better, men and women, but none had made his heart implode like Logan though.

'Gee, thanks for the honesty." Logan stood up, crooked smile in place and waited for James to do the same, it wass about time they headed back home.

"You're welcome. That's what friends are there for." That is the moment James thinks of backing away from this silly little game, take Logan in his arms, kiss him again make love to him, devote his entire life in making Logan happy. His cell phone stopped him, it's a text, and because Logan is just as stupid as he is smart sometimes, he throws a glance at the screen.

"Good morning sexy, want to fuck me tonight?"

James stared at the screen eyes blinking, he didn't see Logan shatter.


	7. Chapter 7

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: I officially welcome aboard and thank KiddStraws, DarthSethbek, DiamondDustK , henderlover and ZheDoctursMinion115 for reviewing. And of course everyone else who actually takes time to read this story. Can you believe I had planned this story to be seven chapters long when I originally started to write? Yeah that didn't work, on the risk of stretching this story further and actually loosing you guys, I will keep on writing until I have all the chapters that I feel are essential on paper. That doesn't mean that this story will be endless. I am still aiming for chapter ten but the possibility that this will go well past it is now very high. Just thought I should warn you guys. If you can stay for the long haul I would be forever grateful. Also this chapter sucks. I wrote it in hurry because I knew the next update would run late and wanted to get it out of the way. I am not asking for forgiveness you can call me names.**

Logan took a step back from James, all the progress they had made this morning could crash and burn from a simple mistake, their fragile new born friendship could break like the slowly shattering heart in Logan's chest.

_No, not this time. I can do this, Brianna's right. I can do this use my better judgment avoid looking him in the eyes, pretend nothing happened._

"Somebody's popular." James looked up at Logan smiling at him then he turned back at the cell phone screen. His mind tried to catch up to reality, one moment he was ready to throw everything away and love Logan forever the next a simple text came to stand between them like a wall.

_**Seriously now? NOW! I knew God had a sense of humour but this is ridiculous! Who is this Mel? Mel? Melanie? No Melody from writing class! Crap! Girl you have the worst timing in the entire world. Ok now what? Delete the message, apologize to Logan, grab and kiss him senseless. Yeah that's what I'm going to do. Wait why is he smiling, he should be punching my face but he's smiling at me. Oh, Loggie tell me you are faking this, tell me you are jealous and you're acting.**_

"We should get going my bedroom still looks like a battlefield." Logan turned to leave racking his brain trying to find where the acting skills and the calming demeanour he displayed came from, and with his back turned in order to avoid James's hazel eyes he started to walk down the street.

James thought of throwing the cell phone, aiming it for Logan's head, he thought calling Melody so he could scream at her for ruining his chances with him, instead he got up and paced quickly next to him trying to catch his eyes. Logan kept on grinning back at James, he actually looked giddy. James had no sure way of figuring out if he was faking it, so he walked next to him in silence. But Logan didn't want silence it could make him fall apart.

"So is it a guy or a girl?" Not that it mattered, Logan still hated the person that texted James with every fibber of his being. He just focused of keeping that information away from James.

"Girl." James mumbled.

"Hot girl?" Logan said teasing, but really realizing the truth he was actually some kind of masochist as James had said to him earlier.

"I guess. I know her from school." Logan nodded he had more questions but all of them would give James indication that Logan really wanted to hunt her down with a chainsaw. Logan didn't even want to know her name he had already picked several for her.

_It's barely eight in the morning. What kind of slut asks for sex at freaking eight in the morning? He hasn't answered her though...Maybe he'll turn her down. Suuuure he will. And I was crowned Prom King during the Spring Ball which I didn't even attend. This is going nowhere. Face it Mitchell your James is as much of a slut as she is. And they will be fucking all night long._

A sigh escaped Logan's lips James caught it like a man lost at sea grabbing onto his life jacket.

"You okay?" James asked smiling, he didn't want to but he was consumed by hope. Logan saw it and it made him turn his frustration and anger into fuel, he could be mature about it, honest. Right then and there he chose not to be. He chose to hurt James.

"Fine just tired. You wouldn't mind cleaning the room by yourself while I take a shower? You made that mess anyway. Except of course you want to meet your friend now and bang her all day long." Logan's eyes were glowing with fire, contempt, scorn. He looked at James like he was beneath him. He even made an appropriate fuck gesture with his hands. James mind flashed back to his mom, to Kyle, he fell slowly to a pit of despair.

_**Not you Logan, not you too. Don't look at me like that. Like I'm the ugliest thing on the planet. I screwed up again. I'm losing you, and turning you to something you're not. I want my Logan back with the puppy eyes and the loving heart and the crook sexy smile. The boy who was scared to kiss me a few minutes back.**_

"No you hit the shower; I'll fix the mess, I made it in the first place." James's eyes were watering up, how could this have happened? He was the actor he should be able to hide these feelings easily but because it was Logan he was unable to do so.

"Good." Logan said flatly. They had reached their building, Logan started to go up the entrance steps. Maybe it was fate, divine providence, the ghost of Hortanse Mitchell, or just Logan being Logan. Whatever force was behind it, it made him loose control of his legs and slip back. James caught him by the waist not allowing him to fall. Logan saw the hazel eyes wide open full with fear and battling tears away. No more games.

"Don't touch me." Logan mumbled and he pulled away from James's embrace flushed with anger. James was so socked that he couldn't say anything. The thought of Logan dying because of clumsiness like Logan's father had rooted him on the ground. By the time he pulled himself together and was ready to face Logan about his attitude, Logan was already unlocking the apartment door hurriedly.

"Logan wait! Let's talk about this." James pleaded; Logan didn't even turn to face him.

"Sorry I scared you." He entered the apartment and went straight to the bathroom slamming the door.

James grasped his hair in anger and cursed, he preferred the indifference the scorn anything but what Logan had said when he pushed him away.

Logan fell naked in the tub water hitting him from everywhere, wrapping himself in a fetus possession he began to cry.

* * *

Derek came in the apartment smiling with burger in one hand and a coke in the other, he saw James buried in the couch looking up through the skylight roof. He looked tired, beat and defeated. Logan's bedroom door was closed shut.

"Good morning Traitor One." Derek started teasing and sat on the armchair next to James.

"Hey." James's voice came out empty.

"How did the jog with Traitor Two go?" James threw him a menacing side glance for that.

"Seriously, you sleep over at Brianna's we're the traitors?" James snapped back at him.

"Yes, you especially since you now only make breakfast for your Loggie-bear leaving me hungry." Derek really didn't know how thin the ice he was threading on was.

"SHUT UP OK!" James immediately stood up shouting looking at Derek with pure hate.

"Chill out! God you had another fight again didn't you? This is getting old James." Derek sounded frustrated James fell back on the couch.

"We didn't have a fight. We had a blast actually." Which was kind of true, right up until James received that text which had trapped him in the state he was currently in, confused and angry with Logan, they hadn't talked for an hour since they came back. Every time James tried Logan just shrugged him off finally he almost threw him out of the bedroom with the excuse he wanted to study.

"Then you're just tired?" Derek asked the next best thing that made sense to him.

"Sure, just tired." James rubbed an eye for good measure and easily convinced Derek.

Derek got up and slouched over to Logan's room James stared at the door praying that his friend would succeed in bringing him out. Maybe he could catch a glimpse of him somehow, the old him, the real him.

"Hey buddy, I'm home." Derek informed Logan after giving a polite tap at the surface on the wood.

"I'm talking to the phone. Be out in an a few." Logan said without opening the door and risk facing James.

"Your boyfriend." He told Brianna on the receiving end.

"I heard him; now swear to me what I asked of you Logan." She sounded both determined and fearful at the same time.

"Fine, I promise I won't leave." He said sighing. Logan called Brianna and told her everything. About their jog, their long emotional talk, their kiss the text and what followed. She made a few comments along the way some angry ones for Logan, some for James but when Logan told her he was planning to leave because this was eating him up alive she did everything in her power to change his mind. Finally from all the arguments she made it was the lamest that did the job. Move out now and you'll miss your first week of school trying to find a new place. It woke Logan's pride and his thirst to learn and he finally conceded.

"Good, Logan one more thing, you will have to tell Derek eventually. My man is so clueless it's maddening I know but it's unfair for him really. He worries you two will come to blows." Logan smiled; because he did want to punch James or blow him he wanted both and couldn't have either. Was love supposed to be this hard, his parents made it seem so easy.

"I'll tell him Bri, I promise. Just let me pull myself together first. I don't want him to be thrown right in the middle of all this drama. He's been a good friend, no scratch that you've both have been the best." Logan felt light now the heartache settled down, it was still there right along with the seething jealousy but Logan was controlling it.

"Take your time, maybe James will tell him first. I have to go now. And Logan I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your father." He had mentioned it somewhere along the way but she hadn't interrupted or asked for details. He smiled thinking at how happy his dad would be if he knew that Logan finally had such great friends in his life.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. Try not to collapse at work tonight ok? I'll need you to hold my hand later." Brianna laughed at Logan's heart warming joke and after another goodbye they hanged up. After making a quick call to his mother so that the sound of her voice could fill him with strength, he reached at the door to face the music.

As soon as James heard the bedroom door open he shot his head up to see Logan slouching out and heading towards Derek. For the last hour James had been thinking about what he should do and say. He actually had come up with several plans; the fact that Logan didn't even throw him a simple glance immediately destroyed each and every one of them. He threw his head back and stared silently at his roommate and what was once the potential love of his life exchange pleasantries.

"There you are." Logan was smiling at Derek his back turned to James and that made James's face constrict with fury

"Good morning." They banged their knuckles into a bro fist, they seemed relaxed happy; it hurt the ignored James even more.

"Now I get why you couldn't stop talking about Brianna she's awesome man." Derek smiled like an idiot and they immersed in conversation, Logan sat on one of the kitchen's stools back still turned to James. Now the furious shallow beast inside of James started to wake, roaring and taking over control.

_**Oh, so you're going to ignore me huh? Alright Mitchell fine. I thought I could try, change, be a person worthy of you. But you know what? Fuck you! No one ignores James Diamond!**_

He took out his cell phone and started to text, stopped halfway and erased what he had written, smiling shyly behind the unsuspected Logan he went back and searched his contacts coming out with the number and called instead.

"Hey babe, saw your text." His voice was honeyed, captivating and loud enough for Logan to hear him.

"Yeah, we had fun last time, so I'm glad you want an encore." James would sell his soul to the devil right now to see Logan's face, it would be a bad bargain to make because except from an initial quick jolt, Logan was calm, smiling to Derek as he continued listing the subjects he had picked for his first semester with a small little explanation for each of them..

_No more cutting myself apart for you James. No more._

"Yeah, I'm down for tonight. Actually we could meet for lunch if you want to. I'm James Diamond, I'm always horny babe remember. Isn't that why you called? Oh yeah I'm that too..." James started to laugh, Derek was rolling his eyes. Logan kept on going on and on about the respiratory system trying not to listen to James and using the knowledge to keep his own breathing in check.

"Ok see you there, bye you little fox." He hung up, lifted himself from the couch and walked towards the kitchen grinning like the Cheshire Cat, Logan met his grin with one of his own.

"Taking my advice huh?" Logan asked him, no hint of jealousy or hurt he even looked James in the eyes just to make sure that the other one knew he just didn't care.

"It's good advice. Why waste the day here or the gym? I can get all the workout I want with a full day date anyways." He moved his eyebrows playfully up and down at Logan, lifted one hand and placed it on the other boy's shoulder, he let it rest there. He felt Logan's body heat rise even through the fabric of Logan's shirt was in the way and when Logan gave him a quick glaring look, James knew that he had achieved a Pyrrhic victory.

_**That's right! You can pretend all you want you little shit, I know you want me. Well tough luck, you hurt me it's payback time.**_

"I won't be home tonight." James announced trying to make Logan flinch, but Logan didn't.

"Yeah we heard. You'll break your back if you keep this up you little porn star." Derek finished his coke and threw it in the waste bin.

"We won't go jogging tomorrow Loggie." He said biting his lower lip like a scandalous child.

"And I start school on Monday so we won't do it again, all week probably." Logan turned and looked at Derek while he pulled slightly away from James making the hand drop from his shoulder.

"That's ok; you didn't really want to do it in the first place." James let a little bit of his anger sip into his tone just so Logan would know that he wasn't talking about their morning run.

"No I guess I didn't." Logan shot the crooked smile, James glared daggers.

"Going to the shower." James trailed off still faking a grin.

Logan stared at Derek trying to decide if the idea that had came to him was fair or not, in one hand he was the only one that didn't know on the other it would be a lie to say that he wouldn't be using his friend to get back at James. With a sigh and deciding that Derek was important to him Logan chose to at least divulge one of his secrets to his roommate.

"Derek I haven't told you about my father have I?"

When James came out body glistening wet, and almost completely naked wearing only his boxers, he immediately scanned the room to see Logan's reaction. What he didn't expect was to find him and Derek in a comforting hug. Part jealous part concerned because he still cared for Derek at least, and Logan too, because love didn't just die in an hour as much as James wished otherwise, he silently walked over to them.

"Everything alright guys?" His voice was soft, his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Yeah Logan just told me about his dad, that's all." Derek answered a little choked up, he let go of Logan who was completely composed and went to get a glass of water.

"Only fair you know, I told you this morning...I told Brianna yesterday." Logan lied; he stared coldly at James and just lied.

"What? You told her yesterday?" James gulped connecting invisible dots.

"Yeah I was upset over something stupid and pointless, and when you went to flirt and Derek came after you I told Bri. You know, I needed to get some stuff off my chest." Logan knew he was going to Hell for this. Using his father, using the first friends he ever made just so he could get back at James for being James. James on the other hand couldn't contain his fury.

"You told a complete stranger about your dad?" James didn't want to believe it, didn't want to face the fact that he came second best.

"Yeah, besides I told you didn't I?" That was a sword, it wasn't a sentence it was a sword and Logan rammed it straight through James's already wounded heart. Logan flinched when he saw James tight his fist and shake with anger. He read the burning hazel eyes and could see clearly how much James wanted to punch him; he closed his own in anticipation.

_Do it. I deserve it. I am a lying scum and I deserve it._

James didn't raise his hand; he just shook his head vividly and took off for his closet room.

"Got to get dressed for my date." He felt so disgusted with Logan and himself that things had escalated so far and so fast that he didn't want to do this anymore.

Logan turned and faked a smile to Derek who genuinely smiled back.

"Going back to study for a bit. Get it out of the way so we can do something later." Derek agreed and Logan left for his room, closed the door, picked a random book and threw it full force on the floor holding in a desperate scream.

"Sorry, I dropped a book." He bellowed loudly so Derek wouldn't come in to check.

* * *

James was sitting across opposite his date in a small Italian restaurant and while she kept going on and on about her ninth grade school play James silently prepared his Oscar speech.

_**I want to thank Logan Mitchell for breaking my heart into a million pieces. Because if he hadn't forced me to take on the role of engaging horny date I wouldn't even know how great an actor I really am.**_

He asked Melody trivial questions and threw some of his best lines at her making her blush. He felt bad about it but couldn't stop himself. Yes, they had slept together before and this was essentially a booty call that she initiated, but that didn't make her a bad person. She was just honest with what she wanted; she was also beautiful, funny and a great actress. James should show her some respect apologize and leave. But going back for another round of heartache? No, Logan was the masochist not him, so he kept coming strong at her until the poor girl didn't have a choice and asked if James wanted to leave and go back at her place.

They never made it there. Kissing passionately on the middle of the street James's eye caught an empty construction site whose barbed fence had a big enough opening for them to go in. Pinning her on a stone column he fucked her relentlessly not holding back, not worrying if they were loud or if they were spotted by a security guard or a passer-by just horrified at the thought he would scream Logan's name when he reached his orgasm. Because that was the person James really wanted to have this physical closeness with, whatever had happened between them earlier, however strongly he wished it was otherwise, he only wanted Logan, Logan kissing him lifted by his strong arms, legs wrapped around him and screaming his name declaring how much he wanted James. So James went on with that burning in his insides until he reached his climax. He said no name he just moaned that he was coming thanking and cursing at God at the same time.

Melody adjusted her slightly torn dress making herself presentable and he was zipping up his pants when she turned to face him, the look was one of frustration and shame James immediately looked down.

"I knew this would happen..." She stated sadly and kissed James on the lips just to make sure.

"You're thinking of somebody else." James didn't deny it, he liked the truth better he just couldn't be honest with Logan simply because Logan had the potential to hurt him and he was right because Logan did.

"It was a matter of time, there's even a bet. So don't worry." She smiled kindly at James's confused expression.

"A bet?" He asked eyebrows raised.

"Yeah most of the people you've slept with from school made a bet. How long before the stud James Diamond actually fell in love." He found it funny, it should be insulting but he found it funny.

"So I knew this would happen eventually, I just didn't know it already had. I wouldn't have been here if I did." James begun to apologize but she cut him midway.

"Don't say you're sorry James, I didn't treat you better, I only wanted sex out of this, didn't think you actually had feelings. So don't apologize about it." She turned to leave but she held out her hand and James took it.

They got out of the site and walked in silence down the street not heading for a particular direction, just comforting each other so the guilt of their immaturity wouldn't swallow them whole.

"Can I ask you something?" She said after a while.

"Yeah sure." James gave out a sigh mind still on Logan.

"Is she worth it?" She asked biting her lips.

"He. And honestly I don't know anymore." James shrugged his shoulders staring at the sky.

"That's good, means you are really in love if you're scared like this. I hope you make it work." Melody gave him another kiss and this one was meant as a goodbye.

James watched her leave, praying that one day she could find someone just for her, but he also wished that her love would be easier, kinder not as maddening as the one he had for Logan. With that in mind he headed towards the hotel he often used for the one night stands he didn't want to bring home, booked a room there and cried himself to sleep.

Logan in the meantime was consumed by his own guilt and jealousy. Derek had a friend over by the afternoon and Logan used the opportunity to try and distract his mind. It didn't work at all; he was awkward with this Nick, mostly silent, even rude at one point. Derek who was pretty clueless to what was really going on between his roommates actually saw Logan stressed out trying to be a good friendly host and gave him a cheap excuse that allowed Logan to go back to his bedroom. Logan was grateful for it; he just wished Derek had come up with something else.

"Logan you should go to bed early you have morning jog with James at six."

It haunted Logan throughout the night.


	8. Chapter 8

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: I am starting to struggle with the story. I have all the chapters and scenes in my mind but after the last one the writing part is becoming a little difficult I think I'm repeating myself. Don't fret about it, I'm not giving up especially since you guys are so awesome and encouraging! So on to chapter eight.**

Brianna found some spare time and visited the boys around Sunday noon, James had not come back but that didn't stop Derek from the scheduled apartment cleaning spree, he kept on whining about it though. Logan helped out of course; his body was at least there because his mind was occupied by James. He tried desperately to avoid Brianna's eyes feeling guilty about the lies he spouted yesterday lies that involved them. Derek took a lunch break and started cooking some spaghetti at one point; Brianna who knew immediately that Logan was avoiding her took the opportunity to corner him in his bedroom making an excuse that she wanted to see some of Logan's medical books.

"Alright spill. What absurd thing did you do after we hung up yesterday?" She closed the door and spoke almost in whisper. Logan felt like he was boxed in his father's coffin, still he wanted to come clean risking yet again another newborn friendship.

"James went to get ready for his date so me and Derek where alone and I told him about my dad..." Brianna gave a small nod trying to calm him down but seriously Logan saw clearly that she was also losing her patience with his nervousness.

"... then James came out of the shower while Derek was a little emotional, he asked what was wrong we told him, and then..." He bit his lips and took a breath then it hit him that Brianna really couldn't make him feel any more disgusted with himself than he already was.

"...I lied to James. I told him I had confided in you first about my father." Logan saw her expression change from impatient to angry to frustrated, she finally lowered her head not wanting to face Logan either.

"What am I going to do about you Logan Mitchell?" She was clearly angry but she was obviously more mature about the way she dealt with her feelings too.

"Take me out of my misery?" Logan was serious about it but she gave him a chuckle.

"No. Sorry Logan you do not get off the hook that easily. I suppose James lost his marbles?" Logan was a little awed for a moment realizing she wasn't going to scream and bash his head on the wall for what he had done, it took him a while to move on with the conversation.

"Yeah I know he wanted to punch me but he restrained himself. I would have let him do it too." No secrets with her, as embarrassing as they would be.

"Yes because that would have solved everything." The disapproval in her voice was evident she took a few steps and sat on the lower part of Logan's bed.

"I take it that was that? James left and you stayed home pinning over him?"She gave him a small gesture for him to sit next to her he did while giving her a silent confirmation.

"So what are you going to do now?" She asked with a sigh Logan buried his head in his palms.

"No idea. Can I just leave now? Go home..." Brianna made a grunt.

"Can you stop loving James?" She rubbed the truth in mercilessly.

"No." he mumbled he would have cried too but he was out of tears.

"How about I man up and face the fact he hates me now." She laughed with that and Logan looked surprised with her reaction.

"Logan, James doesn't hate you. You may have hurt his pride and that huge ego of his but I do not think you two are ever capable of hating each other. Even though you let your stupidity get the better of you and you drive each other insane. He used the date as means of revenge I think." Logan didn't believe that and after a momentary analysis he jumped to a conclusion.

"That doesn't change anything. It doesn't change what I said, it doesn't change what he did, and I'm not talking about going to the date. He rubbed it in, I know you are going to say that it was some sort of reaction to what happened but you know what? Fuck him! He knows I am attracted to him, I was open with him during our entire morning conversation and he..." Brianna put her hand over Logan's mouth shushing him.

"First of all you are shouting Derek's naive not deaf. Second of all Logan this is your problem you are too emotional. I think it's because you lack human interaction experience and James is so straight forward. He sees something he wants and goes for it." Logan got up and went for the door it was better for Derek not to get any suspicions yet, for his own good save at least one friend from getting into this little drama war.

"I know you are more experienced in human relationships and everything, but I think you are wrong about this, If James really wanted me he would still be kissing me in the cafe." He grabbed the doorknob but Brianna was quick to make her comment making sure Logan would hear her.

"Such children..." Logan couldn't decide if she was frustrated, angry or just plain joking. She got up next to him and wrapped one arm around Logan's own and with that they went to eat Derek's idea of gourmet spaghetti.

* * *

James took his time to return home spending most of the day cooped up in his hotel room, he thought that if he stayed away long enough he would come to a solid decision about what do with Logan. By the time he turned the key to open the front door the only thing he had realized was that he was still in love and it was real. Not just lust or admiration or puppy love and not a stupid crush. In the sort time he and Logan had met and lived together that little jerk had driven him to a point that he was ready to throw everything away just to have another kiss. And that was the big issue this was the second time James felt like this in his life. He barely survived his first brush with love. Kyle wasn't Logan, that asshole knew what buttons to push, he knew how to make James beg for more, how to wind him up and make him dance to his sick little tune and if he hadn't gotten bored and left by himself James would still be kissing the ground he walked on. Logan on the other hand even if he had done everything in his power to run away, to get back at James, even if he was scared shitless...

_**No because he is scared, that means it's real.**_

That silly little cliché didn't really solve anything but it still made James smile as he turned the door open, he almost hit Brianna with it.

"Oh goodness gracious he found his way home." She smirked at him sarcastically.

"Hello to you too." He tried not to sound angry at her; it wasn't her fault that Logan told her first still he was hit by a wave of jealousy and the sudden urge to call her names.

"Had fun ducky? No don't answer that I really don't want to know. Keep it for yourself for once James." She gave him a sisterly peck on the cheek looked back and waved at her boyfriend and Logan who were picking up the now empty dishes from the kitchen table and left for work hopping that James would get the hint.

James entered the room and Derek threw a dirty napkin on his face.

"Was the sex so good that you forgot what day it is Lolita?" Derek pouted.

"Cleaning Sunday…" James mumbled, and really neglecting his best friend so he could run away from Logan wasn't very thoughtful of him. Logan really made an effort to face James, he really tried but he found the kitchen sink stacked with the plates much more easier to look at. Still he forced himself to at least greet him.

"Hi."Logan's voice came out choked his heart started to race; he opened the faucet so the running water would drown the sound of his thundering heartbeat.

"Hi. How are you?" Eyes on Derek trying to avoid the sight of Logan's turned back and fall into a repetition of the day before James tried to sound casual.

"I'm good, a little nervous. Big day tomorrow." He washed away the dirty dishes, trying not to break anything because his hands kept on shaking.

"You'll rock it Einstein." Derek said encouragingly. James fought the urge to pull Logan into his embrace, relieved that the cold hurtful side of Logan had been once again replaced by this adorable creature James loved so much.

"Take it easy tomorrow Loggie. You'll have more fun that way." In the mention of the nickname Logan finally turned to look at James, smiling when he saw his beautiful radiant face because that was one of the two things James did to him infuriate him to no end and fill him with utter happiness.

James grinned back knowing that as long as Derek would be in the room with them they could keep the blissful pretense that nothing bad ever had happened between them.

"You didn't clean my closet did you?" James shot at Derek before the other could catch on the undertones.

"Hell no, I made that mistake once still have the scars to prove it." Derek flailed.

"Good. Is there any food left? I'm starving" James clapped his hands Derek was about to say something spiteful but Logan interrupted him because he had the same thought and knowing it would bring tension between them opted to be the bigger man.

"Grab a plate we saved some for you." Logan gave a small nod towards the pot on the kitchen counter.

"No you did, I wanted him to starve."Derek teased Logan, but the only thing Logan did was smile crookedly.

"Thanks." James said as he filled an empty plate with spaghetti and what Derek believed to be the best spicy sauce in the world.

"That's what friends are for." Logan finished up with the dishes and went to his room not wanting to risk any further interaction with James.

"Going to make sure I'm ready for tomorrow and go to bed early." He said to Derek mostly, because he was sure James knew that he was already prepared and wouldn't be able to go to bed at this early hour.

"Goodnight Logan." James appreciated the effort to stay civil and turned back to his dinner.

"Goodnight guys." He patted James's shoulder as he left for his room, the closest thing to an apology he could make. James choked on his food smiling.

* * *

Logan was up at dawn Monday morning gathering books, notes, pens and enough supplies that made it seem like he was going to stay at school all year long never coming back, a willing prisoner in an endless cycle of lectures and classes. He zipped his school bag that weighed a ton by the time he was done with it and checked if he could lift it with his laptop strapped on the other shoulder, he was ready to hit the shower but stopped cold in front of the closet mirror.

_I'll look ridiculous._

He gave the baggy clothes he had picked earlier a hateful stare imagining how geeky and childish he would look if you added the two bags. Worst of all if this had happened before his meeting with the image conscious James Diamond Logan wouldn't even have noticed. He gave out a frustrated grunt and got out of his room furious with the knowledge he would find the instigator of his dire problem making breakfast.

"Good morning." James had just gotten back from his morning lone jog and was setting a box of the lasciviously bagels down the counter.

"Those are for Derek..." James said half guilty, half scared he really felt bad for neglecting his friend and wasn't really sure if bagels were enough to fully patch things up with Logan.

"Don't care! I need your help!" Logan's panicked face made James worry even more now.

"Ok, what's up?" James asked anxious to serve him but he wouldn't have guessed Logan's answer in a million years.

"I'm going to take a shower. Find me something to wear for school, I want to look good." James looked shocked and then happy and then he bounced with excitement. Logan shook his head knowing that another defensive wall had crumbled between them. He turned to go for the largest bathroom but not before leaving behind strict instructions behind.

"Don't mess my closet, don't touch the bags, you are not making my hair, and I'll get the clothes on by myself thank you very much. Just find me something my size." He caught a glimpse of James silently nodding serious and he knew they could actually pull this off without another fight.

James forgot that he had breakfast to prepare and classes of his own to get ready for, and simply devoted the next twenty minutes carefully picking an outfit that would make the world stare and gape at Logan Mitchell because he knew that it would be good for Logan's low self-esteem and finally Logan wanted to change that too.

Logan came in his room expecting to find the remains of WWIII but everything was pretty much in the order he had left them. James showed him the outfit he had placed on the bed and with a large smile left the room. Logan tried on the tight black v-neck shirt when he realized none of the clothes were his own not even the expensive silver snickers let alone the denim jacket but somehow they all fitted him like a glove. The question nagged him long enough and after he was ready he got out to face James about it. Only James was taking a shower of his own now and Logan didn't want to risk waking Derek up by shouting through the door. The other option would be to go in but that really wasn't a sane one. He checked the time grabbed his stuff took a post it from his desk. He scribbled a few words lovingly and he placed it on the kitchen table, he let out a sigh and departed.

James got out with shampoo dripping down his hair and a towel around his waist as soon as he heard the front door close, he didn't want to see Logan all cleaned up of course knowing he would do something stupid like flirt and honestly, he accepted the fact that it was too soon after they had come so close to ruin everything. He just wanted to make sure Logan wore every piece of clothing James had left for him. As he headed back he saw the post it on the table, he picked it up and after reading it he held it to his chest.

"Thank you and I'm sorry."

Logan actually took time to drop most of the bulk of his school bag in the trunk of his car so he could fit everything he absolutely needed for at least his first class on one bag and don't risk ruining how good he looked. He parked his car, took out his campus map and joyfully headed off for his first lesson. The campus was huge and crowded with people, and as Logan walked amongst them he soon found out that his fellow college students were turning their heads to check him out. It didn't make him feel uncomfortable or nervous, it boosted his pride and so he waltzed in brimming with confidence in the amphitheater. He picked a front seat, got his books out and with a huge smile glued on his face waited for class to start. As the professor walked in a few minutes later Logan felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket and checked the text he had received quickly before his new classmates settled down.

"Glad to help you out, I hope you have a great first day and see you tonight.

P.S I'm sorry too Loggie. Our jog was more important than any date and I shouldn't have been so insensitive about it especially right after your first kiss." Reading that Logan decided this was the best day of his life and fought the urge to jump on the desk and dance like the love sick clown he is. When the professor started his lecture the only thing Logan heard coming out of his mouth was BLIP BLAP BLOOP for about half an hour.

After the class was dismissed Logan saw his classmates forming small groups all around and started chatting about everything not limiting themselves to the subject. He got up filling drunk with all the new knowledge he had picked on and was about to leave when he found himself surrounded by at least eight strangers. He froze solid expecting them to start shoving him around like a ball and call him names.

"Wow dude! You were awesome back there!" One of them said and Logan nervously tried to think back to what he had done to garner such admiration.

"Thanks...I guess..." He mumbled nervously.

"You really read that thesis professor Duane published on brain clogs just last week?" A girl asked amazed looking at Logan the same way he looked at James.

_This is about my participation in class? They don't want to beat me up? No there's a catch don't fall for it._

"I didn't read all of it." He mumbled, another guy laughed from behind him making Logan flail a little.

"You don't have to be modest man, I read it too. That thing you said about the nerve damage and necrosis was at the last chapter. Only I couldn't explain it as well as you did." They all stared at him star struck and Logan felt the nervousness and fear leave his body; he smiled and let himself bask in their wonderment .

Logan had an hour free before his next class so he actually, surprising himself, proposed to the group to get some coffee and talk about the lecture. They all followed him, some even chose to do it even by sacrificing their own classes and Logan felt like King Arthur when he sat on the grass because they were no free tables available for them. The conversation evolved quickly from school to personal, a guy asked Logan where he got the snickers even, making him laugh uncontrollably. He was a quarter late when he and two others noticed the time and after exchanging numbers quickly with the rest and making promises to meet later they all scattered hurriedly to where they needed to be.

"Go ahead I'll catch up, need to get some stuff from my car." He shouted and changed directions remembering he had left behind some essential notes in the trunk.

"We'll try to save you a good seat." One of them said and Logan ran happily down the parking lot.

_I cannot believe this! I am actually talking to people! Need to call mom later she will flip. Derek and Bri too. Maybe I could call him I think he'll be on campus at noon. This is all thanks to the wonderful James Diamond! Oh baby, I owe you big time. I feel so good with myself, you were right appearances do matter. I look and feel like a million bucks! Maybe I shouldn't tell him, he'll just rub it in. Who am I kidding he deserves the credit. First thing I'll do once things settle is ask him to go out shopping with me. Maybe even a date it's about fucking time to get this out of my system._

He almost screamed that he was in love with James Diamond once he reached the car but there were people around and the whole point was to diminish his nerd factor not make a spectacle of himself. So he composed himself grabbed everything he needed and headed back to class.

* * *

Derek couldn't believe his ears when Logan invited him over the phone to join him and his classmates for lunch; he was busy though and turned the offer down. He noticed the jubilant noise coming from behind Logan and asked how many people he was with exactly, Logan answered twelve since four more had come up to him amazed and captivated by Logan's new found charisma and Derek held in a school girl scream.

"Oh my God you have a crew!" Derek was smiling proud for his friend.

"Don't tease! It's just lunch." Logan's cheeks flushed red he turned back away from his classmates so they wouldn't notice.

"Whatever you say, just don't turn yourself into James and start sleeping around." That comment made Logan explode, not with anger but with love.

"Shut up man! Besides James is the coolest person on the entire world." There was silence from Derek after that, Logan banged an open palm on his forehead for being an insensitive idiot.

"That hurt... I think I like it better when you want to tear each other's guts out." Derek mumbled tone still playful.

"James came through for me today. That doesn't mean you're in third place as my best friend." Logan bit his lower lip, knowing that Derek would fall for his trap.

"Third? Now I'm confused whose number one..." He asked but he knew the answer, so he angrily squinted his eyes.

"Your girlfriend! Got to go now! See you back home!" Logan heard Derek curse as he hanged up and rejoined his group.

Derek though didn't get to class immediately, Brianna should be at the library at this time, so wanting to share the news that Logan was coming out of his shell he called James in a long shot because he should be buried neck deep with his own school work at this hour.

"I got you bagels what more do you want?" James asked and Derek could tell he had just finished a singing or a dance lesson from his patted breathing.

"Just to bow down and salute the coolest person in the world." Derek answered mockingly.

"You know I wake up at six right?" James didn't have time for Derek's jokes and was about to call him an appropriate name when Derek giddily got to the point.

"Not my words, Logan called to tell me he's actually Mr. Popularity today and it's all thanks to you." James almost dropped the phone, his ears started buzzing.

"Really he said that?" James felt his heart do one back flip after another.

"Yeah he's out for lunch with; get this, twelve people he met today!" James didn't know how to react to that. Mostly he was happy for Logan and that was his goal to make him soar in confidence and have people fall in line and marvel at how great a person he was, but happiness aside he also felt fear and jealousy. What if they didn't have the best intentions and hurt him or even worse what if one of them came and swept Logan away from him.

_**Someone else could see it now. Notice how wonderful and beautiful Logan is and go after him. We keep on running in circles around each other and keep hurting each other he could be fed up with me already. Logan could go for someone else someone that would make his life easier! Fuck! Ok I still have time! He said to Derek he owns me this. I need to ask him out on a date! Today! No friendship bull! He shoots me down I let go, ask him to move out cause I can't bear not to have him. Go all in!**_

"James are you still on the line?" Derek asked because James had zoned out for a full minute lost in his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm still here. Thanks for the update I'm glad to hear our boy is growing up." James also decided to finally tell Derek tonight about his feelings for Logan, actually before he asked Logan out. Derek needed to be informed and James desperately needed to talk about this with someone or else he would start climbing up the walls.

"You're welcome. We have to look after him though protect him from bad company before we have another... JAMES I'M SORRY!" Derek screamed apologetically but James was smiling.

"I was thinking about the same thing don't worry. Fend off all the Kyles away from our Loggie. Wish we were friends back then dude." James said solemnly.

"Me too bro I only met the bastard once, It was more than enough." Derek saw his professor coming down the hall and quickly said his goodbyes to James who tried to tell him that he had something important to discuss tonight but Derek had already hanged up.

Logan was singing his father's favorite song when he reached the apartment entrance late in the afternoon. Body raking in anticipation to see James again, ready to take the first serious step towards a possible future with him. He was so lost in his fantasies that he didn't notice the expensive car parked behind him and didn't feel the pair of eyes glaring maliciously at his back. The owner of the car got out silently and grinned like a wolf taking in Logan's appearance. A child he concluded, time for another round of fun and games with James.

"Is James upstairs?" If this was a movie there would be thunder rolling in the background.


	9. Chapter 9

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: I actually thought of making you guys stew on last chapters' cliffhanger, didn't you know I'm evil? But you guys are so awesome I just had to start writing as soon as I could (also I woke up with almost the exact same morning Mohawk as the one James posted on his twitter a while back.) So the final important OC makes his appearance here. I guess you all know who it is? Bet you're going to hate him. Well tough cookies for you I have a villain fetish. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

"Excuse me, did you ask me something?" Logan fumbled with the keys and turned to face the person who seemingly came out of nowhere and knocked him out of his dreaming haze.

The young man standing in front of him was just a little taller than Logan and he had the same color of hair, but that was where any similarities between them came to an end. His hair was less spiky, except for his bangs that stylishly stood in front; his shoulders were broader than his, his clothes gave out the shape of a muscled toned body that made Logan look like he had never worked out on his life. A red t-shirt, a pair of black pants, expensive designer shoes and a leather jacket. Logan couldn't see his eyes; the sunglasses he wore were in the way. He looked like he owned the world, like James often did when he wore that mask of arrogance but there was something off, and that something killed any attraction Logan would normally have because the guy was breathtakingly hot, maybe the fact that Logan was in love was what saved him.

"I asked if James is upstairs." The stranger had a sardonic smile on and Logan found it funny.

_What are you some text definition of bad boy?_

"No I think he's at the gym at this hour." Logan tried to sound casual but that smile was a little too much for him it made Logan come out as rude for a reason he just couldn't put his finger on.

"Derek's not upstairs either I take it, or are you his new replacement?" The way he phrased the question made Logan feel he was insulting both him and Derek, but his brain finally noted something and instead of answering he started questioning back.

"Wait a minute, how do you know I live with them? Who are you?" Logan didn't even try to hide the nagging anger which started to boil inside of him.

"Oh, I'm sorry forgot my manners...I'm Kyle." He extended a hand but that venomous smile easily betrayed both facts that he was neither regretful or was he forgetful. Still Logan took it in a brief handshake. He also took a mental note to disinfect his hand from the slime he felt oozing on his palm later.

"Name doesn't mean anything to you does it?" It was really pissing Logan off, he kept asking questions but anyone with eyes could tell he already knew the answers.

"Logan and no it doesn't. Are you James's friend? And how do you know I live with him?" The guy broke into maniacal laughter and Logan couldn't control his fingers that immediately clenched forming fists.

"Let's go with former coworker. And I know he doesn't lend the rest of the building, so you have to live with him you have keys after all." Logan was a little taken back, he thought James owned only the loft, but really he hadn't seen any neighbors why would Logan come to this conclusion knowing how fickle James was with his money anyway?

"Except I'm wrong and you don't actually live here...Maybe you're his boyfriend." Kyle's tone was lower, grittier; he took off his sunglasses and stared appreciating Logan with deep blue eyes, like Logan was a new commodity. Logan felt small; the anger was replaced with fear now.

"No I live here." Something held the rest of the sentence in Logan's mouth, he didn't want to clear if he was dating James or not.

"Not my business anyway." Evidently Kyle didn't mean that either and somehow Logan understood that too.

"Would you tell Jamezy I'm in town?" That was it the last straw, Logan snapped and turned back to the door while Kyle went around his Mercedes convertible and reached for his own but still waiting body solid for Logan to answer before getting in.

"Sure." Logan said coldly he heard the car engine roar and turned for one last look.

"Bye Loggie." Logan prayed for Kyle's car to break down on a bullet train's tracks.

* * *

It was another hour before Derek came home Logan was in his room, door left open trying and failing to study, because the echo of Kyle's voice kept ringing in his head.

_Jamezy! What the fuck creep. His name is James not Jamezy. And did he have to call me Loggie? Bet you they slept together at least once. I'm jealous again. GOOD! I'm telling James this time. I am going to tell him I want him and he can tell his boy du jour to fuck off and never show his face here again. Jamezy! I should have decked him!_

"There's our resident genius!" Derek was standing in the entrance of Logan's room, Logan hadn't even noticed he came in, and quickly turned away from his book to make sure that it was indeed Derek not Kyle. He settled down and smiled warmly to his roommate.

"Hey buddy. How was your day?" Logan asked, he stood up and they walked to the living room falling next to each other on the couch, Derek had this proud look on his face and it took Logan a few seconds to remember why, he had a great first day at school and his friend was happy for him.

"Not as good as yours apparently." He started to poke Logan playfully but Logan didn't react much because Kyle had come along and made him forget about all the self-confidence he had gained.

"I had a good time at school sure." Derek stopped teasing now worried with Logan's grim expression.

"Something happened?" Derek looked at Logan noting his unrest.

"This Kyle guy dropped by earlier." Derek lost all color from his skin but before Logan could take in the reaction James's voice came from the entrance door booming.

"WHAT!" Both Logan and Derek stood up from the couch to face James whose gym bag hit the floor with a strong thud, he held some groceries on the other hand but he firmly kept on to those somehow.

"Did you say Kyle?" He looked at Logan with piercing hazel eyes Derek took a step back feeling the tension rise, Logan's heart begun skipping beats.

"Yeah... he came looking for you..." Logan saw that James was mad somehow, some insecure part of him was scared it was with him.

James slammed the door set the groceries down on the floor and rushed breath panting towards Logan, Derek mumbled something about calling Brianna and left for his room, he knew James had to do this alone, it was his story to tell.

"You met Kyle?" The worry on James's face was such that Logan immediately wanted to hug him, but he held it back he wanted explanations first.

"Yeah, he came up to me when I was coming home." James fell on the couch an amalgam of fear and panic. Logan was desperately thinking of a way to help him calm himself down.

"Did he tell you anything?" James was shaking now and Logan couldn't take it, his jealousy got the better of him.

"Tell me what? James who is this guy? I've never seen you like this." James took a breath gave Logan a dreaded stare and quietly mumbled his answer.

"My ex-boyfriend." Logan wanted to stay calm, composed but now he was more angry than worried.

"You told me you slept around, no serious boyfriends!" Logan glared daggers but James let the comment slide, he grabbed Logan by a wrist with both hands looked deep into his black brown eyes and started to beg.

"Can you please sit down and listen to me, this is important, please Logan, please?" Logan couldn't deny him, he seemed so scared and broken, he took a long breath and did what James asked.

"I didn't tell you because...because he hurt me Logan, he cut me up really deep." James stared at the floor, Logan finally didn't care about if it was the right or wrong thing to do, he took James's hand in his own like the morning they kissed showing him he was there right next to him.

"Take it from the top." Logan asked James nodded biting his lips.

"I met him a couple of years back at this photo shoot; it was lust at the first sight couldn't take my eyes of him. I flirted shamelessly but the only thing he did about it was smile and ignore me so I tried harder, no results. I gave up when we wrapped up. I was changing back in the dressing room, when he sneaked behind me locked the door and attacked me, threw me on the floor kissing me, no it wasn't kissing exactly hardly any lips involved just tongues..." Logan didn't want to hear details but James squished his hand, then Logan steeled himself because he caught on that details were important.

"We did it like animals the first and every time that followed...I'm sorry Logan I know this is hard for you to hear, but the sex was so mind blowing it was like a drug and he knew it. So after the first time we exchanged phones and I asked him out. He got dressed and left didn't see him in weeks. He took over my mind. Possessed me somehow. I called him the next day the number he gave me was fake. That didn't stop me I searched the internet, asked around. Found a few things about him, his mother was some high fashion magazine editor his father was an actor. It hit me we came from similar backgrounds I wanted to meet him even more it started to eat me up..." Logan could see where this was going James fell for the bastard first physically then emotionally, he finally understood what was off with Kyle, he was James, James without a conscious.

"I learned he was going to this party, I got myself an invitation decided to face him, moment I saw him in the tux I went up and drugged him to the bathroom. I was ready to get back at him by fucking his brains out. He had me begging at the end. I was on my knees begging for him to let me give him a blow job. It was so sick Logan the way he looked down on me. And yet I couldn't stop..." James sounded hollow now, disgusted with himself. Logan felt anxiety taking over.

_God this is us. I felt the same way when he gave me the hair cut. No wonder he pulls back every time we get close, he feels the same way I do insecure and vulnerable, no it was worse for him back then, he was younger, alone. He hasn't mentioned any friends. And Kyle was so relentless. I have Bri to hold my hand now._

"Anyway after that we actually went on a real date. I was right we had so many things in common, it made me feel that I finally had someone who understood me, the sex was the same though just physical. For him at least..." Logan kept asking himself again and again, why James didn't stop, pull back see that this was bad for him. But he knew the answer, James thought he found his guy, and love can't stop until it runs its course.

"I stopped screwing around with anyone else, tried to work as much with him as I could. Book the same jobs and everything just so we could spend time together, that was hard, that was when it started." James felt anger now he looked at Logan eyes blazing.

"I did a lot of runaways, big shows too, he was a great model but he's not tall enough to book something like that. I wanted to please him, make him happy, so I either turned down jobs or did everything in my power to get him a spot. And the bastard started acting like a real boyfriend then. I fell for it. GOD I'M SO STUPID!" He pulled himself up and away from Logan, he gave the coffee table a hard kick knocking it over, the glass surface broke and filled the floor with shards.

Derek came in the living room in shock Logan though was calm. He stood up slowly and wrapped his arms around James's waist, he gave Derek a gesture to leave and he returned back to his room closing the door behind him.

"You're not stupid, you were in love and it consumed you." Logan placed his head on James's back listening to his raging heartbeat. There was no jealousy left anymore Logan didn't want James like that. Didn't want to hurt him or use him. Didn't want mind blowing sex, he wanted to stay like this, listening to James's heart beating loudly in his chest.

"I was stupid Loggie, still am..." Surprisingly the tears that had formed in the hazel eyes fell not because of the past, but because James felt Logan's warmth running in his body. He turned around to face him, the crook smile drove all the demons away, Logan kept James in his embrace.

"I showered him with gifts of course and he did the same just to keep me hooked, I introduced him to my mother in hope that maybe now that I had a steady boyfriend everything else in my life would magically fall into place. She told me not talk to her again until I had broken it off." James laughed Logan made a face.

"That of course had the opposite result with me. I did anything and everything he said. I had a lot of friends from the business he had me break all contact. My life revolved around him and only him. This kept going on and on for more than a year. Then God decided to give me a break." Logan let James go and they sat back down on the couch they still held hands though, it was an automatic reaction.

"My career started to fall apart and I didn't care anymore, Kyle was a rising star and I found myself in his shadow. It started to bug me. He kept going abroad for work and I stayed home with absolutely nothing to do. I started to think that I needed something else in my life..." He started smiling and so did Logan.

"Acting." Logan beamed.

"Yeah I talked about it with him, that I needed a change of pace. He really didn't care; I thought he didn't take me seriously. So he was in Rome for an event and I took the opportunity and started looking around for a good drama school. I called him excitedly when I found one and he got angry. He tried to change my mind he even used solid arguments doing it. That was his mistake. I thought he cared; I thought if I failed he would pick me up and comfort me. I bought this building the same week I enrolled in school." James made a panicked face remembering that Logan thought he only owned the loft.

"Do you actually have any money left?" Logan chuckled.

"Still filthy rich and spoiled sorry." No reason for Logan to tell him that the asshole had already spilled the beans on that.

"Anyway, he went back to being cold when he saw I was serious about this but this time I caught wind of it. I actually faced him about it, he shrugged it off. I moved here half-heartbroken still hoping we could work it out. Then I saw some photos online of him and an actress at some club sucking face. Didn't have the courage to fight him over the phone, so I went to this college party a pledge house was throwing. Guess who I met there?" Logan pointed at Derek's room laughing at the idea of Derek as a pledge.

"I got drunk and started to bitch about my cheating boyfriend Derek was so annoyed that he threw me out of the party, he got me home though slept on the floor because he didn't want to leave me alone and I had hardly any furniture yet. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. He gave me some advice on what to do, but mostly he made fun of me and my life, it woke me up, it made me realize how pathetic I had become. When Kyle came to check up on me I was ready to break it off. He saw it coming informed me he was bored anyway and I was of no further use. He left without allowing me to say a single word. Derek threw a plate at him he wasn't fast enough; Kyle was already out the door." James gave out a sigh Logan could tell he had bottled the things left unspoken but frankly Kyle didn't deserve his spit.

"I went through the break-up motions, didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't shave..." Logan let a giggle escape.

"Derek has a photo stashed somewhere." James chuckled.

"I'll ask. So that was that, you haven't seen him since?" James shook his head.

"We run into each other a couple of times. I tried to put my life back in order mend some friendships that mattered from the fashion world. I was weak, caved in, we fucked the first time. But by then I knew Brianna she took drastic measures. She called Brooke." Logan thought James's mom was an uncaring bitch and maybe she was, or like his own parents she was just sneaky about helping her son.

"She told me she had come across Kyle's parents and she learned that they had disowned him. He wanted to be a top model so hard that he stole their money, used their names to book jobs, they weren't even speaking to him when we were dating. That explained why I never met them, I never found out who he actually talked to when he said it was his parents. He probably was cheating on me from the start. That was the last nail on the coffin." James got up and went to get a broom leaving Logan alone so the revelations would sink in. When he came back and started to pick up the mess he had made Logan had a serious face on.

"These aren't his clothes right?" He pointed at the black v-neck James had given him for school ready to tear it off if James's answer was affirmative.

"God! No Logan chill! When I see something I like in a catalog or a store I buy it as a gift for a friend and save it until a holiday or a birthday. You have the same build as a cousin of mine! For God's sakes..." They both laughed and Logan got up to help with the cleaning.

_And after all you've gone through you still give away freely. Still you go to lengths to serve people, to be useful. Oh, James I love you so much._

"James..." He grabbed the broom from James's hands and made him face him.

"I lied about Brianna, I told you first about dad. I'm sorry I was jealous." Logan let go and turned around, he picked the groceries up and went to the kitchen. He started to unpack feeling James stare on his back.

"You're cooking tonight Loggie." James made Logan smile.

"Sure, whatever you want." Logan battled with himself if this was the right time to ask James out or not. But now he also felt they needed to move slowly again, especially with Kyle in town lurking in a corner. James picked up the broken coffee table and left momentarily to throw it out. Derek hearing the door close came into the living room.

"Everything alright did he tell you who Kyle is?" Logan threw him a panicked side glance.

"Get that picture of him with the beard, I want to see it!" Derek dashed back to his room not wasting precious time.

* * *

The only conversation they had while they ate the chicken Logan had cooked was to talk trash about Kyle, well Derek talked Logan laughed James was mostly silent.

"That's a plate and a table he owns me now." Derek said voice menacing

"Umm no, both were mine..." James informed trying to lift his spirit from depression and fear appreciating the effort Derek made.

"My brothers' stuff are as good as mine." Derek made sure to look at Logan too just so he knew he was included.

"Speaking of stuff, James can I ask you something?" Logan's throat became dry, he had decided to throw the ball in James's court, he was the one facing a crisis, Logan didn't want to push but he also feared that Kyle had the power to easily come between them and he wanted to fight for his chance.

"After you cooked the best marinated chicken in the world, anything for you Logan." James winked at Derek just to piss him off.

"It's really awful; he's trying to mess with you Loggie." If looks could kill James had just murdered Derek in cold blood.

"Call him that again and I'm feeding you to Kyle." The threat made Logan burst into laughter.

"Why? You call him Loggie all the time." Derek asked confused, James was actually about to answer truthfully but Logan scared that he'll lose his courage busted in the conversation.

"Anyway can I get back to my question? JEEZ! James can we go shopping when you have time, I need new clothes." Logan literally didn't breathe for the time it took James to answer. James saw it, he also saw the begging puppy eyes, he took a deep breath of his own praying that he read between the lines correctly.

"Sure. It's a date." They stared at each other smiling, bursting full of happiness cutting themselves off to their own little private world, the one they thought they had lost forever. Derek still didn't get it.

As they both formulated plans in silent communication across town in an expensive suite of the very same hotel James used just the other day to hide himself, whiskey in hand looking out from the window towards the direction James's apartment was smiling content with himself, Kyle also made plans of his own. Logan was not included.


	10. Chapter 10

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: No this not the last chapter! I am going with plan B after all. You see plan A did not have Kyle appearing in person, and things would have wrapped up right after their first morning jog! But life is complicated like that. It's your fault really, you keep favoring reviewing and putting me in Author Alert. That makes me want to take the long road with this. How long now will it be? Well let's just say there aren't many scenes left in my mind. The real problem is translating this to paper. I can't give an exact number of chapters yet. Sorry! Still aiming for fifteen! On another note I edited chapter nine it was full of mistakes and I added a line or two, I will eventually do this to all the chapters so try and bear with me. Thank you guys for everything!**

James was coming up the small metal staircase that divided his makeshift bedroom from the living room. There were candles lighted brightly in each step beckoning him like he was a star of a romantic movie, and every time he climbed another one he kept smiling wider and wider. When he reached the second to last step though and actually saw his bed he wished he was the one on fire and not the candles.

Logan was fully naked and as beautiful as James had imagined he would be and his face was full of love, admiration and lust, James often imagined that too. What he never imagined though was that the person responsible for this was not himself but the previous owner of James's heart. Right behind Logan an also naked Kyle wrapped his arms around Logan's waist, nibbling at Logan's ear, finally kissing him passionately on the mouth, no lips just tongues.

**_No! No! God no, this isn't happening, please this isn't real…_**

James tried to move his legs, they didn't answer, he tried to call out for Logan but his mouth wouldn't open, his eyes even refused to cry so James could keep on seeing straight clearly.

Kyle threw Logan down in all fours and Logan lifted the lower part of his body up, face twisted in anticipation Kyle looked down on his pet, eyes filled in contempt and malice. He asked Logan to beg and Logan did just three words that hit James straight to the heart.

"Fuck me please..." Again and again and again Logan repeated. James prayed that he was dead, he cursed Kyle to Hell, and he wished that Logan loved him and only him. Kyle positioned himself right behind Logan's spot and before entering violently, he threw a victorious look right into James's eyes. James finally tumbled with fear, falling backwards over the staircase, he felt pain ran through his body, he felt that he had hit a surface of glass, like he was bursting out of a window from somewhere high, like a rooftop, or maybe it was an attic...

He woke up from his nightmare choking in his own scream, body drenched in sweat, heart pumping seconds away from exploding.

**_A dream...it was only a bad dream...thank you God...thank you...only a nightmare..._**

James got up shaking in the darkness found his cell phone to use as a light and went silently down and towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. He checked on the time it was around three he sighed and rested his head on the kitchen counter. He was too scared to go back to bed. He needed something to make sure that his visions wouldn't return. He tip toed silently into Logan's bedroom opening the door slowly, thanking his luck that Logan had left on the small night light right above a family picture on his nightstand. James couldn't see much but he saw enough to walk in closer undetected without making any noise and without bumping into something. He stood silent above Logan and took the sleeping prince's peaceful face to his heart.

**_I'll protect you, whatever happens Loggie, I swear. I'll love you for the rest of my life, just love me back. Please Logan don't ever leave me..._**

James couldn't fight the urge; he risked everything as he leaned down and kissed Logan gently on the forehead. Logan moved a little reacting to the kiss and James thought that he would die for real this time.

"James…" Logan mumbled but he didn't wake up, and James felt that this was also a dream but it was strong enough to trample any nightmare. He took another long loving look that really only lasted for a few seconds and went back to his bed but he couldn't sleep now not because of fear but because now he knew Logan dreamed about him too.

* * *

Logan woke up excited and grinning that morning, he had so much going on for him after all, school, great friends and a promise of a date with the person he loved. Occasionally of course because this is Logan after all some nerves and anxiety would creep in his mind, about Kyle or about screwing things with James but every time he started thinking those things he remembered that little strange dream that he saw last night, more of a fragment of a dream really, James looking down on him eyes full of love making silent promises of happiness with him. After almost four years Logan felt the urge to sing again.

The living room was empty and so was the kitchen, no breakfast prepared, Logan thought James was still out jogging but he heard an alarm clock from James's bedroom. He climbed the stairs giddily and found James still asleep, best part of all he slept shirtless. Logan bit his lower lip and went to sit on the edge of the bed as quietly and as slowly as he could and then he started gently nudging James on the shoulder.

"Mr. Diamond...wake up...you're late..." Logan felt mischievous, a thousand thoughts rushed through his mind from a simple kiss to splashing James with cold water, but he knew James better than that now, so like a child on Christmas Eve he waited for James to open his beautiful hazel eyes.

"What... time is...it?" James asked still in sleep mode, Logan couldn't help himself really; he leaned down and whispered in James's ear as evilly as he could muster.

"Almost seven..." Logan pulled out quickly; they didn't bump heads as James shot himself up, still James's piercing screech made his eardrums complain.

"I FUCKING OVERSLEPT!" James panicked and jumped out of his bed Logan fell back on the mattress laughing at the site of him.

"CRAP! NO JOGGING! I HAVE BREAKFAST TO PREPARE AND DRESS YOU UP! CRAP!" Logan shot his eyebrows surprised with the last part of James's declaration; he went after James who was entering one of the bathrooms slamming the door by accident behind him.

"You don't have to do that; I'll wear yesterday's clothes." James pulled the door open he actually looked angry, he locked his eyes into Logan's and spoke as determined as a war hero going into battle.

"Over my dead body you'll wear the same clothes twice!" Logan was ready to argue but James slammed the door again before Logan could open his mouth.

"HEY! CONSTRUCTION WORKERS PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING OVER HERE!" Derek bellowed from his room but Logan kept on smiling. He slouched to the kitchen and started wiping up a quick breakfast by himself or else he would lose James from a heart attack.

* * *

James was in his closet room picking up clothes for Logan fifteen minutes later, Logan was behind him holding a tray of food on his legs sitting in a large trunk that James had for whatever reason, probably his lucky pants Logan concluded, and every few minutes he would call James to him reminding him to eat, actually he had to feed him because James didn't want toast crumbs on his clothes or butter on his fingers.

"You really don't have to do this..." Logan didn't mean it, the scene of a still panicked James picking clothes like his life depended on it was so endearing he just felt that he had to say it like he was reading lines and was filmed by a camera.

"Shut up." Logan got up holding a slice of toast with bacon on top and carefully placed it on James's mouth he even made a face like the one when you try to feed a baby.

"Mmmmm, you should take over cooking duties." James said munchkin down.

"No. I have school don't get used to this." James made a pout, and turned holding a red t-shirt over at Logan's chest imagining how he would look in it. Logan immediately shook his head.

"No red." Logan said determined thinking that the devil with the sunglasses wore red yesterday.

"You would look amazing in red with your eyes." James argued leaving Logan no choice.

"HE wore red." James threw the t-shirt on the floor and stomped on it for good measure; he went back and tried to find something else.

"Well, we can scratch that from our shopping list." His voice came out solemn he was struggling with words.

"We have to wait until Saturday to do that." Logan was kind of sad too because Saturday was so far away.

"I know...Logan we are going to have a blast I promise." Logan's smile returned and he lifted himself once more in order to feed James again, it was just an excuse though he just wanted to be close.

"It's a date." Logan promised back, but James still had a worried look in his face.

"Loggie if Kyle comes up to you again..." Logan's face became flustered with anger.

"He's dead. I'll rip his head off." James fell silent because it was clear that Logan meant it with every fiber of his being.

"Don't do that, you'll go to jail and we'll miss our date." That won James a smile from Logan and another piece of toast. Eventually both of them were dressed up and looking stunning, of course they had a loud argument coming down the apartment stairs.

"You are not buying the new clothes for me!" Logan said frustrated as he opened the building's door.

"We'll see." James shrugged it off smiling smugly.

"No you are not! And you'll tell me where I can find a good dry cleaner too so I can return the ones you lent me the other night." Logan stopped and looked determined at James.

"Sure I will, which reminds me you can have your restaurant coat back too!" James couldn't help but laugh at Logan who flailed burning with anger.

"DATE'S CANCELED!" Logan screamed but James wasn't bothered.

"Ok, whatever you want Loggie, now go to school before I start kissing you six days earlier!" Logan made a choking gesture on James's pretty muscled little neck; he gave an angry grunt and got in his car calling him names.

"DATE'S STILL ON RIGHT?" James shouted actually scared when he saw Logan's car pulling out gaining distance, Logan shot a hand out the window and gave him the finger.

**_Yup date's still on!_**

James happily started walking towards his school.

* * *

James came up to the drama's school's entrance trying to focus his mind on actual theater exercises glad that he was succeeding too, Logan was the love of his life but he didn't want to neglect his second one after all, he turned to greet the small crowd of people he shared his passion with as they walked in front of him already going in, when a playful whistle came from behind freezing him solid with dread.

"There's my Jamezy..." Kyle's voice dripped of lust leaning over a tree looking like the angel that fell.

James turned to face him body pumped with adrenaline he ran furiously up to his face and grabbed Kyle by the collar of his leather jacket, desperately trying to ignore the fact that he bought it for him in the first place.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" Any other person who faced the berserker James Diamond towering over him eyes full of hate would have immediately started to flounder like a fish out of water Kyle just kept on smiling like a snake.

"Came to see my aspiring little thespian...What? Bad idea?" James pushed him violently on the tree trunk but Kyle didn't even show any pain or discomfort.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME ASSHOLE?" James felt his classmates staring shocked at his back but that didn't calm him or make him feel shame because if he couldn't make Kyle drop that sardonic killer smile soon absolutely nothing could restrain him from going violent.

"I felt remorse and I wanted to see you again...What do you think I want James seriously!" Kyle dropped the mocking tone and evil smile mid-sentence he also pushed James back releasing himself from his grip.

"Get out of here I'm over you, it's not happening." James turned the opposite way looking down, breath panting; some of his classmates Melody included started walking worried towards him Kyle smiled back at them enjoying the angry looks they gave him.

"There's a dinner down the corner, when you get a break meet me there." It wasn't a request but a command James shook his head frustrated.

"Don't hold your breath..." He let some of his friends' calm him down soothing him with their worried questions, Kyle started walking out relaxed and confident.

"I'll wait." James heard the loving tone and even though he knew it was fake he couldn't stop his mind from flooding with precious memories.

His friends helped him compose himself; he lied to them of course told them that Kyle was a really bad date that went horribly wrong. They all bought it some even joked that's what you get when you sleep around. He was in the backstage of his rehearsal's theater pretending to study lines waiting for his turn when Melody came up to him placing a hand over his shoulder.

"Just tell me that wasn't him..." She was worried that James would tell her to fuck off but she was more scared that James had fallen in love with evil personified, and that convinced her to ask the question anyway.

"No it isn't him." James didn't look at her because that would lead to more questions he didn't want to answer; Mel nodded and went back towards her own friends respecting his privacy. James though kept on fighting with himself.

**_What do I do? If I don't go he'll just show up in the apartment again, go after Logan because Logan's new and has innocent victim written all over his face. Maybe a restraining order? Oh yeah, that's smart I attacked him they'll give me one for sure. He has me cornered again! Damn him! I could call Derek or Brianna for backup I could even ask Mel, God bless her! Yeah set up more targets for him James. What the fuck am I so worried about anyways! It's not like he's a psycho with an axe. Maybe I could just talk to him, and if he starts any funny business I'll get up and leave! It's not like I'll give in to him! I have Logan now! Got to protect my Logan..._**

James wasn't lying to himself the thoughts of Logan and how opposite from Kyle he was really did kill any lingering attraction, so when James finally had a break from his classes he went to meet him head on. Kyle smiling though at the sight of him made it clear that this wasn't going to be easy. James refused to order he didn't want to stay for long and he wanted Kyle to know that, Kyle simply didn't care; he had prepared his attack plan before he even got into town. Their booth was in a corner right by the biggest window.

"Let's get this over with." James had his best poker face on but still he wished he could just grab Kyle's sunglasses and shove them up his ass because with them on Kyle didn't need one. That was the difference between an actor in training and a natural born liar.

"Stop bothering me." James said coldly.

"Why?" Kyle asked back, he even sounded kind off pissed.

"What? Why? What do you mean why? I don't want anything to do with you!" James shot back holding in his anger.

"Why is that James?" James's mouth gaped; he knew Kyle was anything but retarded.

"What part exactly don't you get, we're over!" James started to lose control slowly raising his voice.

"Emotionally we were never even on not from my part at least, physically though, come on James, I know you. There's slim chance you found someone better to fuck with. So why are you denying yourself the pleasure?" James hit his hands on the table; Kyle gave a small apologetic smile to the waitress just to drive him even more insane.

"Why I don't want sex with you! Well, you disgust me for once! You cheated on me! Hurt me! Lied! Used me..." The bottle of pent up feelings had opened and James went on and on listing the crimes Kyle had perpetrated.

"Blah, blah, blah and I told you Santa doesn't exist either! Grow up James it was two years ago! I'm not angry that we didn't fuck last time I saw you anymore am I?" James stopped cold, in what world exactly does Kyle think he lives in where it's alright to break someone's heart but if you denied glorious sex you had the right to be mad at the other person. James stood up to leave and Kyle gave out a sigh.

"Sit down James we're not done yet. At least appreciate the fact that I'm honest with you for once..." James ignored him and turned to leave but then Kyle took off his sunglasses quickly and looked deeply in James's eyes. He actually looked hurt.

"Tell me at least you're not saying no because of this Logan I saw yesterday?" James sat back, no fear no anger just pride and dedication.

"Yes. He's my life now and like Hell I am hurting him the same way you hurt me!" James didn't want to involve Logan, he wanted to keep him out of this, but Logan was his shield, his armor and he would use him to take the enemy down.

"He's a child James what sort of pleasure will he give you?" Kyle was frustrated, or at least he sounded that way.

"It's not about sex, he loves me, I love him you won't get that in your entire life." Kyle rolled his eyes, James didn't even care.

"If I wanted a mushy mushy love I would have tried harder with you. And a part of you knows that you don't want that commitment either, you know it won't last and you'll end up devastated again." James shook his head.

"It didn't work with you because you are a pitiful pathetic and alone monster. Logan's the best kindest most innocent man out there." The only thing James felt bad about in all of this was that Kyle was the recipient of his declaration and not Logan.

"Yeah Loggie's Jesus, I get that. Then where the fuck do you get the right to screw him over? You are just as dirty as I am James. You're a whore remember? At least that's what you begged me to call you from day one." James smiled; if this lame comment was Kyle's way of striking back he really had nothing to worry about in the first place.

"You're late for the guilt train; Logan already helped me get off. I told him you see? I told him everything and he still wants me, and he's not perfect he's just so damn close and I would be a fool to let my shortcomings and mistakes stop me from going after him. That's what you are Kyle a mistake and I'm fixing you for Logan's sake." Kyle laughed hard he couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Did you really tell him everything James? About the orgies and all the other perverted stuff we did? You expect me to buy that? Come on I thought you were smarter than this. You've fallen too much into acting that you think your life is some sort of grand romantic blockbuster! Bet you, you haven't even fucked the guy yet!" James gave out a sigh; this was a waste of time apparently. Yes Kyle spoke the truth, and yes James hadn't told Logan the hardcore details, but that was only because James didn't want to be Kyle, he wouldn't thrust Logan with images that would just hurt him. And if that was a mistake, well, only Logan had the right to judge him.

"Just don't come near us again. You owe me that at least." James stood up to leave for real this time but Kyle didn't budge.

"I'll be in town for a week, you wake up I'm staying at the hotel we hooked up the last time." James shook his head he left apologizing to the waitress for the shouting. He walked back to his school feeling reborn and powerful. Before going back to class he actually called his mother really not knowing why, maybe because it was the Logan thing to do he thought. She was her usual "charming" self it didn't bother him. He just told her that everything was alright and asked how things with her were. After he hanged up he texted Derek that he had something really important to tell him tonight and that maybe the Kyle thing was over. Derek texted back that they should celebrate but James didn't answer, there was a high chance he'd kill him with the champagne bottle when he'd find out about himself and Logan. So the new James Diamond went to his singing class dedicating every lyric to his love.

* * *

If Logan thought his first day of school was great then his second one was glorious. The classes were outstanding and the circle of people he had met yesterday thinned down to seven but that was actually a great thing because those seven were the ones that honestly respected and admired Logan and had no ill will against him. He even got asked out on dates. TWICE! One by the girl that eyed him the other day, he told her he was gay, minutes later she pushed a guy from the group to Logan encouraging her friend to ask him out. Logan told him he was unavailable, all three laughed holding no grudges. The only down side was the pile of homework the professors kept on assigning, that actually made Logan reconsider his date plans with James. Fate though had his mother give him a call.

"Hi! I know we haven't talked much! No. I'm between classes actually. College? No, I'm in Heaven mom not college. Yeah I know, I know, your son's a nerd. Well, apparently they appreciate that sort of thing here. I'm making friends mom. Really! And there something else...Sit down and brace yourself." Logan told her about James, not in details though he didn't want to scare her. She got mad with him and begged for him to take it slowly afraid that this fiend would break her little boys' heart. Logan fought back, when he told her that he was convinced it was like what she felt for his father the argument got heated. Finally Logan told her that whatever she did or say or whatever the world decided to throw at him, he and James would go on their damn date this Saturday even if they had to outrun the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse! She gave him her blessing and promised to wire him some extra money so he could get a cub.

"Thanks mom, love you too. Got to go bye...NO I AM NOT SAYING IT MOM I'M IN PUBLIC GIVE ME A BREAK!" He hanged up and texted her instead, that her Loggie-bear was in love and happy. She answered don't forget the Horsemen.

Logan just couldn't stop smiling all day long; when he was driving home he blasted the radio on singing which was the last boundary really. Logan Mitchell made a constant effort not to sing. E-V-E-R. And both yesterday and today all because of school and James he absentmindedly forgot his promise.

_Great he hears me sing that's it. He'll know I had professional training; then he'll tie me on his back and drag me to his acting school. Worst part I'll let him do it too. Who's to blame here me, him or you dad! You just had to give me your pipes didn't you?_

Logan laughed with himself and his father's imaginary dirty joke, it wasn't until he was parking outside his home that any thought of Sleazy Kyle came to him. Serious, careful and combat ready he got out of the car and after checking for his mortal enemy and making sure he wasn't there Logan got in the building, not singing because he actually settled down on being a doctor.

The apartment was empty which surprised Logan a little, Derek didn't have that many afternoon classes he should be here by now, he walked in his bedroom and flipped the light switch on. At the sight of the surprise that awaited him Logan didn't know if he wanted to scream or cry.

There were clothes everywhere again only this time they were carefully placed on the bed or hanged on his closet door, they were in sets and had post it stickers on that had the days of the week written on them, all except one outfit that came with a cashmere coat Logan actually recognized. It had a paper note instead of a sticker pinned on.

"I didn't go to the gym today and thought of a way to make sure I won't run late again having to dress up your cute little ass. So now I can focus on our date this Saturday thinking about how to get you naked...And yes I'm still buying you clothes, and yes the shirt under the coat is red. I want to see your eyes sparkle. Anything else simply doesn't matter anymore.

P.S You'll have to eat by yourself tonight Loggie the big boys have to talk." There was something else James also wrote but he had erased it or at least tried to, but Logan could see the markings and even though only the "L" was legible and only when pressed against the florescent light bulb it still made Logan fall on the floor laughing and rolling around like a child.


	11. Chapter 11

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Wow I haven't done a shout out for a long time so let's fix that:** **fanmin, BtrCutie, ThisHendersonChick14, bmwstamps, jamesmaslowlover, DiamondDustK, Malachite, Darth Sethbek, ZheDoctursMinion115, KEALY KAMES, katpawsnh, henderlover, bmwstamps, Love and Heartz! I hope I didn't forget anyone! And of course to everyone else who keeps reading this THANK YOU PEOPLE! This is probably the simplest A/N I've ever written! Also this chapter will be posted back to back with the next giving you a heads up!**

The moment Derek realized James kept on insisting that they eat dinner in his favorite fast food restaurant he knew that something was fishy. Also the fact that James didn't want to wait for Logan to catch up to them before they ordered their burgers was also a dead giveaway that something was wrong. When he tried to call Logan to see if he was on his way to meet them and James snatched the phone from his hands Derek flipped with frustration.

"You didn't invite him did you!?"

"No, it's just us." James was determined to come clean with Derek, tell him everything including things that would create enormous pressure for his and Logan's first date, if Logan was present to hear them. Derek of course thought they had another fight, and started bitching about it which in turn made James roll his eyes, and he wondered how does Brianna deal with her boyfriend's thick headiness.

"Will you calm down! People have been staring at me all day thanks to Kyle!" Derek immediately stopped his bitching.

"Oh, I get it you want to talk about how you gave Kyle the boot, and you don't want Logan to hear the details, totally understandable." Derek fell back on his seat all relaxed now, waiting for James to narrate the glorified story of how he staked the sparkling blood sucker. James who up until then was consumed with nerves and anxiety now started regretting the fact that he didn't have a professional camera to film this.

"I did give Kyle the boot, well, technically we were over two years ago, but I made it crystal clear that I wasn't going to have sex with him ever again for as long as I breathed." James smirked as he took his time to tell his friend the real reason they were there.

"Can't believe he came all the way here just to ask for sex, what a sleaze bag." James didn't comment that, because first of all Kyle doesn't ask for anything he either demands or takes it and second of all from James's point of view it was sort of understandable to go after great sex. At least that's what he would have done before he met Logan.

"Do not interrupt me ok? Or else will be here all night." Derek nodded stuffing his mouth with food.

"It was easy too, he was like let's have sex and I was like take a hike!" James made funny expressions with his face that made them both laugh although James was laughing for a whole different reason since he had now reached his point.

"And do you know why it was so easy?" Derek didn't even think before answering.

"Sure, you finally decided to grow up and stop whoring around." Behind the joke James felt his friends' pride and joy so out of respect he stopped laughing and looked Derek seriously in the eyes.

"Yeah but what made me change, the catalyst that made me realize I don't want to even look at Kyle ever again, I don't want to even look at anyone else really, is the fact that I only want to be with Logan." Derek shook his head like a wasp had entered his ear loudly buzzing and annoying.

"What did you say?" He must have heard wrong certainly or he was dreaming this, those realities made actual sense.

"I'm in love with Logan." Derek kicked him in the sheen, he dropped his burger on the plate stood up and started shouting.

"THAT'S NOT A JOKE DIAMOND!" James expected this reaction he didn't want to be right, but still he knew his brotherhood friend, he also came in prepared with certain counter measures to shut him up.

"SIT DOWN I'M NOT BREAKING UP WITH YOU!" James screamed back, the people around them that nervously glared towards their direction either started snickering or turned their heads away. Derek fell frustrated back on his seat.

"That wasn't funny either."

"Well, they think it was." James made a gesture to the people around snickering at them, but quickly turned back to the most serious topic.

"I am not screwing around about Logan though. I am in love with him." James repeated with conviction, Derek grabbed his forehead that had started sweating beyond his control.

"James seriously how can you say that? It's been barely a week that he came to live with us. You know him for eight days damn it!" James smiled warmly realizing the exact time it took Logan to completely conquer his heart.

"You called him brother just yesterday." Derek rolled his eyes.

"Yeah and I meant it, because me and him actually get along and have grown close. Every time I look away you're at each other's throats." James remained calm knowing that Derek was going to voice all of James's own inner fears and insecurities and rub them in his face, and he wasn't going to beat around the bushes either he was too angry to keep himself in check.

"It's not that different bro, you got to know Logan and you wanted to be his friend, I just want to be his future that's all." Derek took a long fry from his plate and started tearing it to pieces.

"Stop being corny, you just...it's a crush okay! A childish stupid crush!" Derek sounded so worried that James wished he could just rip his heart out of his chest and show him that Logan's name was written all over it.

"It's not a crush. I love him, I love everything about him. Yes we piss each other off and yes sometimes he makes me wish that it wasn't true, but I'm so in love with him that even now I just want to get up and run home so I can just see his crooked little smile. Damn him, that smile kills me." James ran his fingers through his hair and Derek saw the longing burning in his eyes, it calmed him down for a few seconds but then the re-precautions jolted him back to life.

"Fine let's say for argument's sake what you are feeling is indeed real, and I still think it's a crush, have you given any thought at all about what this could do to Logan if you act on it? He has no experience in this things James it could turn out really badly, for him and for you." James laughed loudly it was the only thing he could do; he bit his lower lip scandalously and nervously shook his head.

"You are not going to like this." He started playing with his eyebrows.

"Crap! You already did something stupid didn't you Chum-Chum?" Derek glared and started drinking his refreshment making sure to empty it or else he would have ammunition to splash on James's face.

"I started fooling around the day we met, he was like this feisty little puppy dog that barked loudly at me, so I started messing around, throwing insults and flirting just so I could see him spaz..." Derek made a face.

"When did you flirt with him? Where was I?" James's patience was running low.

"Mars your home planet apparently! And save the questions for later dude or I swear I'll drop kick you! But anyway I thought he was this kid trying desperately to come out all big and strong and threatening at me. And then BOOM he walks out of the shower day two and my jaw hits the floor shattering to pieces like the plate I dropped because he isn't a kid anymore. He's this piece of hot hunk that I just want to..." Derek made a silent plead at James to skip the details but James purposely ignored him mostly to piss him off but also to clear up how Logan makes him feel.

"... bang on the tiled floor. But then at the same time he's more than that. Most of the time he's like a deer, you make a sudden move and he runs away and doesn't stop until you can't keep up with him. And that thirst for knowledge he has, he really looks at things, not just on the surface, he wants to know everything there is out there. I'm jealous of him sometimes. He's so humble and kind and forgiving. And all the heartache, when he told me how he grew up, how he lost his dad, the bullying...I wish there was a way that I was there somehow growing up right next to him, be his friend, protect him. Then we could take our time falling in love. It would have been so much easier if I knew him back then." Derek cleared his throat to make James go back to the actual story and stop naming the things he loved about Logan, silently though he had changed his mind, if anyone who heard James talk with such melancholic passion and still believed that this was just a crush had to be truly heartless.

"See, I start talking about him and can't control myself! Ok back to the facts, first I notice he's hot and then I give him that much needed haircut and he realizes it too, so he starts to flirt with me and we almost kiss. Your fault we didn't by the way!" Derek had a flash back at how angry they were with him when they left the house to meet Brianna for dinner, his mouth gaped.

"Oh, don't worry I got my kiss the next day. After our jog we talked about our lives and I fell for him even harder than I ever thought was possible. When I realized he hasn't been kissed yet, I threw away all sense and caution. I just wanted to have his first; I want to have all of his firsts. And we kissed and God I can't describe it, I don't know how I've survived without his lips since that day." Derek pinned him with an angry look he had to interject on this point.

"You went on a date! That very same day you took off and you spend the night with someone else! You gave him his first kiss and what you got scared that it was real and left him pining! What sort of behavior is that James?!" Derek expected James to change his expression to one of guilt and shame, James burst out with anger instead.

"He pushed me away! I didn't ask for the date, this girl Melody from school texted me and Logan saw it and he just...I know we could have handled it better, but he was so jealous that he lashed out on me in the cruelest way possible, he looked like Kyle I swear Derek, same disgusted look, tone, everything. So I went and had sex with this girl just so that I could hurt him back. It didn't work either because the only thing I kept on wishing the whole time was that I was making love to Logan instead! And If Mel wasn't such a great person she would have killed me on the spot because I was obvious about it too!" James buried his face crying in his palms scared by the realization of how close his immaturity and stupidity had brought him to lose Logan. Derek hid all his sympathy away he had his friends to protect, both of them.

"You just proved my point James; you're just not right for each other man. You're too different, too scared, too immature. You haven't even started anything serious and you've already hurt each other like this." James wiped his tears raised his head and locked his eyes into Derek's fiercely.

"No!"

"No what James? Can't you see this is just the previews?" Derek still smiled though he knew that expression James Diamond had, only it was far more brilliant than any other time Derek had ever seen it.

"No, we're past this! We forgave each other; we want this more than anything else. No more running away, no more fear, no more jealousy, no Kyle, and not even you can stop us now! Saturday me and him, we're going on a date, a real one, try to make each other happy and the rest of the world can go to BLAZES!" Derek fell off from his chair laughing, James's cheeks flushed red. He hadn't even noticed that he had shot up from his own seat at some point during his booming declaration. He felt the people staring at him with disapproving burning looks. He saw the manager come at them bloodthirsty for making a scene, panicked he gave him a nervous smile and a hurried finger wave picked up Derek who was holding his stomach still laughing uncontrollably and started running for the door.

"See and now I'm the innocent victim of this drama of yours! I just lost my favorite burger joint" They had ran across the street both laughing like children, it took them a few minutes to settle down because every time they did one look at each other and they started cackling all over again.

"So, you think you can be okay with this?" James was scared but not half as much like the fear Logan made him feel in a daily basis, still he wanted his best friends' support.

"Doesn't matter what I believe, can't stop you anyway. Neither of you I think. You both are pig headed idiots and you've already lost your heads. Your hearts too." James threw an arm around Derek's shoulder and pulled him for a hug, they started walking down the street back to the apartment Derek was constantly thinking back at all the obvious signs.

"You think Brianna knows?" He asked with a scrutinizing expression.

"Bet you my lucky comb. The way she and Logan hit it off, she probably consulted him back in the restaurant. She hasn't said anything about it has she?" James smiled knowing that she'd rather take Logan's secrets to the grave or at least risk a serious fight with her boyfriend; he knew she would do the same for him too.

"No, but you're right probably, she keeps asking how's Logan, and they keep talking on the phone I think it's him at least, I even started thinking that she was actually interested in him in more than just a friendly way. Damn, I'm the last one to know! That hurts dude!" He was even half-serious about it.

"Here's the deal, date goes horrible and Logan does break my heart I come running to you for comfort? How does that sound?" Derek turned around to face him with a mock of Logan's crooked smile and James wanted to punch the living daylights out of him.

"Annoying actually or you break his heart and I help him hide your body! Deal?"

"Ha, ha, what kind of friend are you anyway?" The sarcasm game continued.

"The underappreciated kind apparently! As soon as we get home I'm guilt tripping Logan!" Derek threw a menacing finger in the air.

"Go five, no ten feet near my Loggie and I'll wring your neck!" The game of empty threats continued all the way home.

Logan forgot to eat dinner; he made the mistake of going through some of his study notes after he settled down from James's surprise and got lost in the wonderful world of skin cell decay. He even tried to will his rumbling stomach to stop complaining about food, promising it pizza later. But when he heard the door he closed the book immediately and opened a browser in his laptop trying to act all chilled and bored.

_They're back! My baby's back. Don't do anything freaky Mitchell act coy_. _You're a cool cat now. Just like dad! Keep it together and don't go jumping in his arms screaming like a school girl._

"Hey Logan..." Derek came in Logan's bedroom smirking and all innocent.

"Hi! Did you guys eat I was ready to order some food." Logan slouched back on his chair placing his hands behind his head.

"Yeah we ate. I did at least finish my burger. James didn't, too busy talking about his Saturday plans." Logan smiled giddily.

"Yeah we're going shopping, I forgot to ask, do you want to come along?" Logan had of course already talked to Brianna over the phone earlier, she apparently had the day off which meant he was safe to play the nice courteous roommate card.

"No, no, I'll go out with my girlfriend, you have fun with yours." Derek dropped the act, Logan dropped off his chair.

"You want any sex tips Juliet I'll be down the hall." Derek turned around to leave but James had sneaked behind him smiling like a serial killer. He threw a warm look over at Logan making sure his accident prone object of affection was alright, and grabbed Derek by the ear pulling him out of the room.

"Oh crap! Let go Lancelot!" James threw him out the door kicking him on the ass for good measure and returned quickly to Logan who was lifting himself up.

"Order me a veggie pizza, we'll eat and I'll tell you what happened with Kyle." Logan stared panicked and bombarded James with questions.

"Wait you met Kyle, and you told Derek it's a real date and he's fine with it and..."

"Yes, genius everything's fine." Derek shot his head in the room.

"Until you two numbskulls screw yourselves this weekend that is."

It was Logan who threw a book at him making him give a panicked screech and run to the living room for cover.

"You're sure he's fine with it?" Logan walked and lifted his book up; he turned to face James still concerned.

"He's working on it, just like us." James came up to Logan and it was difficult to suppress the urge to kiss him lock the door and throw him in bed, Logan saw the burning lust in the hazel eyes and shot him the crook smile.

"LOVED the note..." James lost all of his skin color and left pacing hurriedly out of the room.

_Yeah! I'm a cool cat now!_

* * *

When the food arrived Logan and James sat on the living room floor taking advantage of the fact that they didn't have a coffee table anymore, James had closed the lights and if he had any candles he would have lighted them too, he settled for the mute television instead. Derek made a few jokes and initially sat between them, so Logan texted Brianna who took an immediate break from work and gave Derek an angry call to stop getting in their way. Derek ignored her at first and hanged up; the second call though ended up in a childish argument so Derek lost all of his appetite and locked himself in his room.

"We should take a moment to think about the women and children." Logan joked but James shrugged it off.

"I love him but I warned him fair and square, he shouldn't butt in, I don't want to get you any more nervous than you already are."

"I'm not nervous." James giggled but Logan was serious.

"I'm not James; I'm just excited about it. Sure I was afraid that Kyle would do something to you or with you but now you're saying he's out of the picture. So I can focus on what was it? Oh, yeah get your cute little ass naked." Logan smiled shyly James licked his lips.

"You don't have to worry about Kyle anymore. He's nowhere near the picture; you're the picture, the whole picture." James leaned over but Logan pushed him back gently.

"You're rushing! James please we have to wait..." James shook his head and Logan stood up.

"Please James stop. I want this too but we keep on going from one situation to the next and that's why we keep on messing it up. Let's wait for the date please." James didn't need much coaxing to rein himself, one look in the puppy eyes and he was sold. He got up holding his pizza box and sat on the couch giving Logan a nod to sit back on the floor. Logan mumbled a thank you and sat a small distance away from him; he also let a long sigh slip out because he wanted James to be sure that this was hard for him too.

"Let's get the Kyle thing out of the way just in case, he came up to me in school I read him the rap sheet, told him I don't want anything to do with him and I left." Logan turned and positioned his head on the couch pouting.

"You're sure he won't come back?" James imagined that Logan had a tail and was wagging it happily so he ruffled his hair a bit.

"He told me he'll stay in town for a week waiting for me to change my mind, I don't give a damn if he chains himself on the front door." Logan though had now started to feel the anxiety come back, Kyle didn't seem the type to just give up and stay in the corner sulking.

"Hey, and if he comes back you can rip his head off, I'll help and we can go to prison together." Logan turned smiling back to his food.

"Then I'll have to fight all the prisoners trying to rape you in the shower, no thank you I'd rather give you up to Kyle now." They laughed a little and changed the subject James asked how Logan's day was but soon regretted it when instead of his social accomplishments Logan started talking about his classes. The clock ticked away and they started feeling sleepy, so they cleaned up and were ready to go to their separate beds, they were saying their goodnights when James suddenly had a stroke or that's what it looked to Logan at least.

"I know how we can deal until Saturday! Movie night!" Logan actually bounced.

"And we can have Derek chaperone us!"

"We can take turns in picking the movies!" James added.

"It's perfect you're the genius!" Logan lost his control; he fell on James's chest and kissed it lovingly.

"Or I can just take you right here, right now!" James tried to wrap his arms around Logan but the other pushed him back and ran to his room locking the door behind him.

"GOODNIGHT JAMES!"

**_Damn so close!_**

James snapped his fingers with disappointment and went to bed.

* * *

The plan worked perfectly, in the mornings they woke up to eat their breakfast and flirt a little, as much as either of them would allow not crossing any boundaries, Logan even went to jog with James once more, they got so tired and lost track of the time, both lost their morning classes, neither regretted it. They were safe during the day far away from each other lost in their busy schedules, they even started to exchange sappy texts full of playful subtext, Logan started writing it down on paper like poetry. Movie night was a raging success James found Logan's taste impeccable, Logan didn't watch one full movie until the credits he watched James instead lost in the roles taking mental notes, quietly mumbling lines. Derek invited his friend Nick over and they threw popcorn at them every time they noticed the other two getting too close. Nick and Logan hit it off finally, James got a little jealous because he had made out with Nick once in a drunken party but Derek calmed him down and assured him Nick was straight and over any curiosity stage. So the rest of the week passed like a breeze, no problems, no fights, no heartache, they had started dating without the label on, both knew that and accepted it. When Friday night came Derek saw them fall apart obviously by nerves and silently took a step back to enjoy the show.

"Why do we have to wake up so early?" Logan moaned and James rolled his eyes.

"Because I want to get a head start in the cashiers' line! We wouldn't have this problem if you would allow me to take you in the nice stores instead of the mall!" Logan gave him an angry grunt.

"James we talked about this, I can't just wear designer outfits! First of all I can't afford them, and second you want another butter accident?" James looked at Logan eyes filled with rage.

"I haven't forgiven you about that, seriously who cooks wearing a two hundred dollar pants? What were you thinking?"

"You should have thought of that before you gave me half the closet. Those are my pants now; I can burn them if I want to." James shuddered when he realized how close Logan was on mastering the smug smile.

"Well, you're an ingrate!"

"Oh my God! He owns a dictionary!" Derek took a scoop of ice cream perched on the kitchen counter and fought back his laughter waiting for his cue.

"You know what? Maybe this is a bad idea! I want to be appreciated by my boyfriend." James trailed off and Logan went running the other way holding down his answer, because really, he had overused the word fuck in the last few hours since they started fighting.

"Ten hours until your date!" Derek bellowed from his spot. They both stopped solid and looked at each other like they were looking at a miracle. They smiled, apologized and went to bed counting the minutes and seconds for the morning to come.


	12. Chapter 12

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: We have reached the final stage. After this chapter there will be only three or four chapters left maybe less. I am writing this chapter lacking sleep and full of nerves (just like the boys) it's kind of a personal bet for me to post it this Saturday! With that I hope I don't disappoint you, and I hope you stay for the remainder of the story. Thank you.**

They met in the two bathrooms' entrances of all the places, both got up in the same time to prepare excited and with wide grins. For some mysterious reason neither said good morning to the other, it felt wrong; they just smiled and went to freshen up and prepare. Logan was in his room taking out the outfit that James had picked for him and had carefully placed in his closet all week, he was nervous now, anxious, madly in love even more than before. As he got dressed he remembered that he hadn't called his mother and knowing that her own anxiety for her son's happiness would get the better of her and she wouldn't be able to resist and call him, with Logan's luck it would ruin the most romantic moment of their date, he picked up his phone to deflate the situation. He found two messages one from her one from Brianna wishing him the best of luck. No advice, no jokes.

Looking himself on the closet mirror's reflection something felt wrong, maybe he messed up the hair, not spiky enough or maybe it was because he couldn't see how the red shirt brought out his eyes, or maybe the coat was too formal and the pants too black and now he hated his old church shoes. They all felt wrong and itchy and he wanted to rip them off.

"You're beautiful..." James mumbled leaning on his door, Logan turned around to face him and his eyes actually hurt. Because if James thought Logan was beautiful there simply weren't words for Logan to describe James. His coat was deep brown and shorter than Logan's, his shirt was dark blue and the silver buttons were perfection, the pants were dark denim and the small boots were black. He had his hair a little shorter than it was when he entered the bath and Logan wondered how he managed that in the simple hour it took him to prepare. He didn't give him compliments it would be insulting.

"Give me five minutes." James nodded and walked to the entrance, Logan noted how serious he looked like this was the most important day of his life, Logan looked himself in the mirror again and he looked fine now. Maybe a little too formal but well, James wanted this formal and Logan wanted to give him the world in a silver plate. He smiled, picked up his things and left to meet his guy. As they entered the car, Logan apologized to his dad because now he hated the old thing, and he cursed his stupidity for not taking it to the car wash the day before. But when he saw James and how comfortable he looked in the seat next to his he forgot what he was thinking.

"So, we pick up breakfast on the way and off we go?"

"Just try not to make a mess of yourself Loggie." The smile James gave him wasn't smug, it was loving and adorable. Logan wondered how his heart would handle the abuse when they had barely started and James already had it pounding like a hammer. Logan started the car and drove slowly out of fear that the seconds would pass to quickly and his fairy tale would end.

* * *

They walked in the mall holding hands, James's palm was the one that sweated first, it just made Logan grasp it more firmly, the place had barely any people, it was hardly nine after all, so they took their time and toured down the shops taking in the window displays. James pointed at various items making comments of what he liked or in what Logan would look good in. He reminded him of the cardiologist professor back in school so Logan took him as seriously as he would have done if this was class. After James had decided which stores to visit they began their shopping. Logan loved the lighted expression James had on his face every time he stepped out of the dressing room but soon he thought it was ridiculous because James loved Logan in everything he wore.

"I can't buy entire store!" James laughed and truly focused now in what actually Logan looked good in. Logan felt relief when James didn't make any moves to pay in the cashier's check, so mentally noting his budget after the first purchase he informed James on how many outfits he could afford. James gave him a sly smile and Logan smelled smoke. He kept his worry to himself when the time came he would deal with whatever extravagant plan James had tucked away. They were in their fourth shop; Logan was wearing a vivid green polo shirt happy that he was running out of money because he started to get tired of the repetition cycle of changing one set of clothes for another when he noticed James's frustrated eyes standing next to him in the small hall.

"Is everything alright?" Had he done anything wrong, said something stupid Logan racked his brain looking back but found nothing.

"Yeah, everything's fine…it's just unnerving." James walked close to him and adjusted the shirt slightly, Logan was used to it by now, he didn't fidget, he longed for the touch.

"What is?" Logan's tone was low and slightly worried.

"How I've spend every moment of my carrier trying to get all these different images and looks to perfection and you just do it so effortlessly." Logan smiled with the compliment; James gave out a defeated sigh.

"There's so much about you Logan Mitchell, so many different angles, like a prism, or a labyrinth and you've got me blind and lost..." Logan gulped, there were other people there but he didn't care, how could he fight the urge, the longing, he trailed his fingers in James's hair and pulled him down for a kiss. It was shorter in length but much more passionate than their first one, lips parted, tongues inviting, James pulled him in his arms and lifted him slightly in the air. They moaned in pleasure they savored the taste, they couldn't hear the disapproving cough the clerk gave them, they were trying to listen on each other's heartbeats through their connected bodies. They broke on their own accord seconds later James kissed Logan's forehead in gratitude.

"Let's pay and go I think we're done here." Logan took off the green shirt and wore his own; he didn't bother to close the dressing room's door making James bite his lips at the sight of the milky skin.

"Now that's just mean..." Logan didn't hear him but he gave him the crooked smile none the less.

On their way out Logan stopped in front of a book store, his eyes fell on a new fantasy book from one of his favorite authors, he had forgotten that it had been released a few days back to occupied with school and James, he panicked and took out his wallet while James smiled behind him lost in his adorable dorkiness. When Logan counted his remaining money and found them lacking, he shot James a mischievous grin.

"Can you buy me that?" He didn't even see the point to ask except that it was the nice thing to do.

"No, there's an ATM down a floor." Logan froze; he didn't expect James to shoot him down.

"You didn't want gifts, remember?" Logan wondered how could he love such a callous person and growled with fury. He went to grab one of the bags James was carrying to return the items for a refund but James read his mind and lifted the bags in the air and out of the shorter boy's reach.

"No, no, no, ATM down a floor, you're not returning these for a book. I'll wait for you in the car." As Logan saw James turn and slouch back to the parking lot he thought that maybe he could jump him and go for the wallet, but then again that would end the date and he wanted that to last forever.

When Logan met up with James who was leaning back on the driver's door, he hit him in the shoulder with his new book making him give out a painful grumble. James laughed at his angry pout and shook his head at the sight of the hurt puppy dog eyes.

"Do you want me to spoil you or not you indecisive baby?" James threw his arms around Logan's waist pulling him closer and waited for the answer. Logan felt his body heat rise and buried his head on James's neck.

"Maybe a little..." He mumbled and James pushed him back hazel eyes burning.

"Give me the keys." James caught Logan by surprise mostly because he interrupted the moment so suddenly.

"I want to buy you something nice, please Logan, the keys..." Logan smirked.

"I have enough clothes for a lifetime now James."

"It's not the clothes it's the memories we're making, please Logan let me do this." Logan took out his keys but he pulled them back before James could get his fingers around them.

"You know how to drive right?" James nodded a little ticked off and Logan handed him the keys, James opened the back door placed the shopping bags in the seat and came around the car to open the passenger seat door for Logan.

"This feels a little weird, I'm not sure I want to be the girl in this relationship." James smiled as he got in; he looked at Logan lovingly and turned the car engine on.

"You're my prince you idiot that's the only title worthy of you." Logan laughed mockingly a little but still his cheeks blushed red.

* * *

Logan shook his head frustrated as they entered the designer store, even he knew the brand name and how expensive this would be, and really he would have preferred it if James had gotten him the book instead. James ignored Logan's evident disapproval, Logan could have his world of books but James wanted to make him feel as beautiful as James saw him. James hugged the apartment manager who almost ran towards them; obviously she and James were close. Her age though assured Logan there was no point in feeling any jealousy.

She guided them through the mannequins with the rich decorated clothes and James immediately started pointing at some pieces, she was a little surprised when James asked her to bring them in Logan's size and not his own, but then she gave Logan a delighted smile and she was gone in seconds.

"Just try not to ruin them in a week Loggie."

"The hardest part will be to find a place to wear them, really James you don't have to do this." James threw him a side glance and he changed his tone from teasing to slightly peeved.

"Logan I've worked all my life, and I've earned my money. I have the right to spend them, throw them and burn them if I want to. I've done it before but this is the first time I'm doing it not because I want someone's approval or to please him and it's the first time I am a hundred percent sure the person's worth it. I just want to make you happy. So stop this because it's ticking me off okay?" Logan didn't argue, he actually found James's flustered face sexy, so when the manager handed him the clothes he happily took them and went in the back to try them on. A few minutes later and after he composed himself looking stunned at his reflection he walked the small runaway proud and giddy.

"How do I look?" He asked coyly scratching the back of his head.

James gaped at the sight of him. The black vest and the small matching tie the white shirt that Logan had pulled the sleeves slightly up, the black linen pants, the leather shoes, this was the Logan James had dreamed off since the moment he knew it was love. James leaped beside him shaking; he gave him another passionate kiss on the mouth which Logan eagerly returned. James's old friend clapped with excitement, because she knew James from years back and had never seen him like this. She had a small argument with them later refusing to accept any money, she called the designer himself and he was the one to convince James in the end being a personal friend of the Diamond family for years, Logan grabbed the phone to thank him for the gift. They walked out of the store Logan wearing the latest clothes with his cashmere coat not changing back.

"I want to give you something too." He looked at James determined having made up his mind the moment they had ended their third kiss.

"Let me guess a book?" James cupped Logan's cheek so their faces were opposite each other millimeters away from another kiss.

"No, it's not a book...can we not go home tonight James, sleep someplace else..." James dropped his hand immediately.

"Logan you don't have to do that, I don't want you to feel like you have to spend the night with me out of gratitude or..." Logan fell on James's chest again feeling the rising heat, listening to the pounding heart; he took a long whiff of James's scent desperately craving for more.

"I want you, all of you. Please James, let me have this tonight, because I won't survive without it. I am barely alive now; my heart wants to explode, please James." James gently stroked the top of Logan's head he leaned closer biting his lips. He didn't want to rush things he was scared what it could do to Logan if he later regretted it, he grasped desperately on the last straws of his sanity.

"How about we spend the rest of our day together and see how it goes?" Logan pulled away eyes burning.

"I won't change my mind on this James, you can't stall it or fight me, we're making love tonight even if I have to climb on you when you're sleeping in bed." James was taken aback seeing the fierceness and passion that had taken over Logan; he didn't know if he should cower in fear or fall thankful on his knees. Logan pulled away hand still linked on James's own and they started walking down the street.

"Let's go have lunch." His expression remained unchanging.

* * *

Logan picked the spot, he had found it online a few days back, it reminded him of his parents' favorite place, it was a simple small neighborhood restaurant although rising in popularity by the day, best part of it all the place was new and had escaped James's savvy knowledge of romantic spots.

"I'm impressed. How did you find this place? "

"The marvels of the internet, I may lack experience in the mouth to mouth department Mr. Diamond but do not underestimate me when it comes to my relationship with a good search engine. I've already topped that department. Planning to top the other one too." Logan winked seated opposite of James who just shook his head.

"Logan can you drop the heavy flirting please, it makes me nervous alright?"

"Not until you promise me you'll fuck me all night long." James smiled and bit his lower lip; Logan made resisting him harder by the minute. He opened the menu in silence while feeling Logan glaring at him undressing him mentally; it would be a lie to say part of him didn't enjoy it. Then his mind snapped when it found a way out.

"So seriously how was your first week in school?" Logan's brain ran out of any new potentially dirty jokes and settled for a simple one.

"Good I think I found what I want to do actually." Crook smile in place he waited for James's question.

"What is it?" Logan wished that there was already food on the table so he could see James choke on it.

"Coroner." James was laughing only because Logan couldn't control himself from flailing.

"Man, you should use those computer skills to search for a sense of humor! That was lame." Logan settled down and went back to his own menu. They gave their orders and started to seriously talk about their schools when James said something that made Logan fall in silence and give him his undivided attention.

"So I don't know if it's good, the teach asked for a one act but I can't just stop thinking about it." Logan was so in love with James's lighted expression as he talked on and on about the play he had started to write.

"What is it about?" James made a face.

"Well it's about this middle aged family man that finds out he's really sick and tries to hide it from his family, I know not very original but I've thrown in some twists here and there, a gay son of course and a cheating wife..."

"You're trying to piss off your mom again aren't you?" James cracked up but nodded.

"I talked with my dad the other day too told him about you."

"Really? What did you say to him?" James took a bite from his salad and answered nonchalantly.

"He better finally deal with my sexuality or he's not invited in our wedding." Logan spitted his orange juice right across the table.

"See! Now that was a joke!" James took a napkin and cleaned Logan's face realizing that it was a stupid move to make as Logan could have easily gotten the designer clothes dirty.

"Wait a minute he's not ok with you being bi?" Logan asked serious and James nodded in affirmation.

"He thinks I am just doing it out of spite because of the way I was brought up, can't get it in his head I actually enjoy the procedure not bothering with the gender." James made a quick face palm he had just dug his own grave.

"Then why are you denying me the pleasure James?" Dark brown eyes burning Logan smirked accusatory.

"You're different, you're special. It's like you said when you stopped me from kissing you last Tuesday. Why we had Derek play watchdog all week. I don't want us to rush this, plus it hurts Logan, really hurts like Hell before it gets good."

"Please James, I've done my research, don't try to scare me it won't work. And the kissing was different I held back because we weren't ready emotionally, I wanted the date to be perfect and it was from the moment you said I was beautiful back in my room. I want you James can you just make up your mind if you want me too?" James felt the burning question poke him in the insides.

"How can you say that? You think this is easy for me! Damn it Logan! Can't you see how much I care about you? I don't want you to turn into me or worse into Kyle!" Logan's mouth gaped, that name crept inside of him and festered in his mind, if James didn't have such a tender look mixed in with his anger Logan would have said and done something very stupid right then and there, instead he held himself in check, gave out a patted breath and returned to his food.

"It's your choice James just try and see my point of view in this, I'm not just horny and confused ok?" James didn't fully realize the meaning of the sentence he was too angry to think straight. If he had maybe the coming tragedy could have been avoided.

* * *

It took the entire time they spend in the restaurant before they both settled back to normal, they were walking down a pier looking across at the endless blue sea at the boats that came in and left disappearing in the horizon, hands intertwined murmuring romantic secrets to each other.

"I've never been to the ocean." Logan spoke in whisper for some reason, it made James let go of his hand and pull him by the waist, Logan's back resting in James's chest, It was the afternoon now the sun was slowly setting, the sky was painted in purples, yellows and reds, like a gift from the heavens or a warning that night was coming to play her part.

"I've swam in the most beautiful green seas, and walked down beaches made of diamond dust, I'd like to show them to you one day." They leaned for a tender kiss but they both held back, James couldn't make up his mind and keep on leading Logan and Logan was trying not to let his childish jealousy erupt like a volcano. The crowd around them glaring disapprovingly didn't exactly help either. James begun to hum in Logan's ear a song Logan didn't recognize some show tune he guessed, it filled his heart with sadness but it was sweet and melodic too. When James begun to sing head buried in Logan's neck his insecurities got the better of him, he let James sing alone taking selfishly in his body the others' angelic voice, refusing to sing with him in a duet, even though he knew they would be standing on the same ground.

They saw the setting sun and let each other go because the cold sea breeze just made the heat of their grinding bodies unbearable in contrast. They felt tired now; both physically and emotionally drained, as they walked down town towards the car. When they reached it James returned the keys hand shaking.

_One last try._

"Where to?" Logan held his breath James looked down on the pavement searching for an answer.

"I don't know Logan..." He lifted his head surprised because Logan grabbed him by his shirt drawing him closer to their most passionate kiss yet.

Their tongues mixed like liquid, fire their senses flooded in delight, James tried to pull back, but he only took a desperate breath and dove back in Logan's mouth, he couldn't fight anymore, he felt his body shaking in anticipation, screaming for release.

"Alright you win..." Logan smiled with joy and opened the door jumping in the driver's seat waiting for James to come seat next to him.

"So, do we go home or do you have a place for this sort of thing?" James shot his eyebrows shocked by the first thought that hit him, Logan noticed and smirked.

"I don't care if it's a hotel James. It's probably a good one, five star and everything. You can go ahead and spoil me tonight." James's momentarily indecision was what gave him away, he was hiding something.

"What's wrong baby?" Logan asked, he felt his throat ran dry he could read the hazel eyes searching for a lie.

"I don't want our first time to be in a hotel drive us home." James was an actor, a good one too but the only role he would never get right was that of James Diamond not with Logan Mitchell as the audience at least.

"I don't know, it could be romantic my first time in an expensive suite." Logan's tone was cold; he didn't want to leave James any space for excuses.

"Except of course you have another reason you don't want us to go there. What are you hiding James?" James looked at the black orbs confused with fear, his deer could turn into a lion, he just had forgotten about it.

"Kyle's staying at that hotel..." Logan bit his lower lip angered by the shamed tone and the guilty eyes that refused to look at him.

"So what? It doesn't matter to me James? Does it matter to you?" He didn't even let James answer.

"You know something James I should be the nervous wreck not you! I should have performance anxiety not you! It should matter to me if your ex is sleeping around the corner not to you! But apparently you are either thinking of yourself or Kyle but you are definitely not thinking about me in this James!"

"Can you just shut up for a second and listen to yourself Logan? How can you be so selfish! I'm just trying to think what's best for you and you keep attacking me like a spoiled brat!" God!" James buried his head in his hands Logan struck at the wheel like a madman.

"It comes down to this James, If you want me or love me enough the place, the time and wherever the Hell Kyle is shouldn't matter! Cause they don't to me! I want you! I love you! Look at me James, tell me where do you want to go what do you want to do? Please James! PLEASE!" James turned to face him seeing the anger and the lust constrict his face, this wasn't his Logan, his Logan wasn't ready.

"Stop pushing me Logan, please. I can't do it like this..." Logan's eyes whaled with tears, who was this defeated person besides him and where was his hero that protected him while he slept?

"You did it with that date of yours the other day, you did it with Kyle after he broke you to pieces, I'm just not good enough for you am I?"

"I wasn't in love with them Logan...I'm in love with you!"

"No James, the problem is you're not, you're in love with Loggie not me, I am not a kid James I'm a man, I wanted to be your man but you just don't want that, not hard enough, not as much as I want it..." James shook his head with anger and frustration.

"And you want what your parents had Logan, well I am sorry they made it seem so easy, but real life isn't just romance and fairy tales. I thought I could be good for you, change myself, become a better person. But I can't be your father I can't be perfect making all the right decisions for you all the time." Logan leaned over and opened James's door as he turned back James grabbed his hand, running down his cheeks were also rivers of tears. Logan looked at him and choked, his mouth opened and spoke once more the words James never wanted to hear again in his life.

"Don't touch me..."

James got up and exited the car banging the door behind him. Cursing himself because he was right in the first place, this car was a hearse, and it carried their love to its grave.

Logan parked outside their building's entrance, he cried head hanging in the driver's wheel, he didn't sleep and he refused to get out, he just waited outside crying for hours upon hours to see if James would come back. James was in the lobby of the hotel looking at his phone Kyle's name flashing on the screen tears in his eyes thumb shaking above the call button.

**Extra A/N: And now I will take a small writers break I'll probably update Tuesday! You can send me your reactions by clicking the review button! Toodles!**


	13. Chapter 13

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Before we continue with the aftermath a few words! I hit 50 reviews! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Thank you, you wonderful considerate caring people. You are the Logans to my James! You and I are also bat shit blind! I posted chapter six twenty eight days ago and just the other day I get this pm from the marvelous demijulilive** **pointing out that I called Logan by his real life surname instead of Mitchell! The fun and thrills of lacking a beta! I think I fixed it! I think...Before we move to the actual aftermath a special thanks to the anonymous reviewer! The points you made are actually problems that kept bugging me as I wrote the chapter and was struggling to fix before I posted despite my better judgment!(except the Logan flip out I think I cover it here! But still not satisfyingly enough) I would love it honestly if you could pm me to talk more about this matter. Seriously thank you! On a final note I will accept ALL anonymous reviews although I would deeply appreciate if you drop a name or pm so I can thank you properly. And this chapter is MEH I overused my OC and the chapter is pointlessly big.**

Logan woke up in his car with a splitting headache, growling stomach, and black circles under his eyes. The light of the dawning sun hammered his face mercilessly. He hated light now, it reminded him of James just like everything else. He got out forgetting the existence of the bags in the backseat and dragged his aching feet towards the building. Maybe he could go use the bathroom and return to his car, catch a few more hours of sleep like a homeless person and then take off for his return trip back to his hometown, he'd rather sleep outside of the cemetery they buried his father than face James Diamond again.

When he opened the door and smelled the scent of brewing coffee he froze still, he left the door hanging midway and his heart started to beat like mad. He considered running back and falling to his death by staircase suicide, seeing James making breakfast would kill him anyway, he saw no difference.

"Guys are you back?" Derek called anxious from the kitchen. Logan's lips curved into an empty hollow smirk and he walked into the apartment. One look at him and Derek knew everything had gone to Hell. Logan took advantage of the time Derek needed to form his questions and in complete silence went straight to the bathroom. He was undressing when he realized he was wearing the expensive designer clothes James had gotten him, and even though he hadn't paid for them in the end, the sentiments behind the gift burned away Logan's skin like acid, if he had any strength left he would have ripped them to shreds, he had to settle by taking them off as sloppily as he could. He had freed his upper body when Derek started tapping gently on the door.

"Logan are you alright buddy? Can I come in please?" Logan hated Derek too now, he introduced James to him in the first place, he didn't want to see, speak, or hear him.

"Leave me alone..." Derek stopped tapping and Logan felt relief, but his blood red eyes shot out in panic when he saw the door handle turn, in his sleepiness and heartache he had forgotten to lock it. Derek's face was full of sympathy and pity as he entered, it didn't make things any better only worse.

"Leave me alone..." Logan repeated and Derek's conviction wavered for a few seconds at the sight of him, Logan didn't want his pity, he didn't want the shame of people seeing him reduced to a living wreck, just a shadow of his former self, devastated by the constant merciless hits that the force of nature known as James Diamond had thrust upon him.

"Logan what happened talk to me please..." Derek pleaded and Logan started fighting new born hot tears forming in his eyes, he thought he was out of tears, just how many more were left? How many more times would he be forced to cry in his sad pathetic life?

"I... don't want... to talk about it... just leave...me alone please..." He saw Derek coming closer to him, probably for a comforting hug, he took a few panicked steps back preparing to scream, that made Derek stop.

"I'll be outside Logan, take your shower and I'll make you something to eat ok?" Logan shook his head but Derek just turned and left mumbling a curse under his breath with no particular recipient. Logan closed the door fell on the tiled floor and released the new set of tears that had been burning behind his eye sockets.

It took Logan more than an hour to get out of the shower, mostly because he had rubbed the luffa on his body with enough force to leave marks and scratches, he could deal with self-inflicted wounds preferred them to the ghosts of James's fingerprints. The shower didn't calm or soothe him, it only made him face reality, he was not feat to drive at this state and although he felt like he wanted to die he didn't want to put his mother through unbearable pain again. He didn't look at Derek as he walked down to his bedroom, fortunately he didn't have any fight left in him either, to free himself from his friend's quick grip.

"Logan stop! I won't ask any questions just come eat something please!" Derek was prepared to drug him, punch him, tie him on a chair and feed him using force, the worst part was when the echo of James's voice rung through Logan's brain shocking him awake.

"...**_like a spoiled brat!"_** The words made Logan give a silent consent and drug his feet to a chair, he saw the poorly made breakfast of cereal and toast Derek had prepared and gave a smirk.

_I'd rather eat this a thousand times than even look at those damn bagels you used to lure me James._

Derek sat behind him flustered and in silence trying to give Logan time, but seeing at how weakly and far between Logan lifted his spoon to eat he just couldn't take it.

"Are you going to say anything Logan? Please say something?" Logan saw that Derek had lost his patience a mile away, he just didn't care.

"James isn't back yet..." He mumbled voice broken, Derek gave a frustrated grunt.

"I know where he is..." Somehow he wasn't shaking, Logan was a clutch most of the time with the exception of when he wanted to do something really important, dissect a frog, play the keys of the piano like his father had taught him, he held his spoon firmly and his voice became more steady, he needed to say this as clearly as he could. Derek may have been James's friend first but he loved Logan too, he deserved to know, an excuse really Logan came out with.

"...he's with Kyle...he left me for Kyle..." Derek banged his fists into the table making a mess, Logan didn't react to neither the milk that was dripping on the already sweaty shirt that he took from the dirty laundry hamper in exchange for his expensive clothes or the loud thud the table gave out in complaint.

"Can you start making sense?! How is James with Kyle? Did that creep..." Logan stood up taking the plate with the burned toast with him and shook his head.

"I'm going to bed...Sorry I shouldn't have said anything….I'm sorry..." He felt guilt, because he had done it once again, used a friend to get back at James only this time it was Derek instead of Brianna. The difference was Brianna was the mature one, Derek grabbed Logan by the shoulders and forced him back on his chair.

"LOOK ASSHOLE YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THESE THINGS AND LEAVE ALRIGHT! EAT YOUR DAMN FOOD AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!" Logan looked up at Derek's eyes his own filled with terror, Derek turned away to grab some paper and nervously clean the mess he made. He left for Logan's room and brought him a clean shirt they were both shaking and as Logan changed clothes again their eyes met. Derek started laughing Logan gave out a choked giggle.

"Better now?"

"A little..." Logan managed to eat a couple of slices of his burned toast and realized he didn't want the silence, he would have plenty of that later.

"It started out fine, no, it was perfect, we went shopping we held hands, we kissed. I thought I was going to die of happiness every time he touched me..." Logan knew the appropriate words were romance and fairy tale, but remembering how James had used them in a sentence right before he left refrained Logan and kept him away from them like they were taboo now.

"I was so happy I couldn't contain it, I just wanted more, I wanted him...so I asked..." Derek gave a sigh and called them both idiots Logan didn't hear him lost in the memories.

"He didn't want me I had to beg, fight scream at him..." Derek looked at him furious, he had watched them all week it was obvious what James wanted, Derek had heard him say it time and time again, he also knew how scared James was of hurting Logan, the problem was that instead of talking about it like reasonable adults they let their insecurities, fears and lack of better judgment eat them up. He had been in similar situations with Brianna, he took a moment to thank his lucky stars that his girlfriend was wiser beyond her years and that he was willing to compromise and put his ego in the backseat.

"...he finally caved. I was so happy that moment, that brief little moment he allowed me to believe that I was worthy for more than just kisses and gifts..." Derek read between the lines, Logan's goal was simple, he wanted to own and be owned by James. Brianna would say you can't own a person, any man though would argue that's just a woman's point of view, people still remember their first kiss, their first time, they give away parts of themselves willingly, soul and body and hope that the other cherishes them forever, but life doesn't work that way. If anyone should know better by know it should be James and Logan it just made Derek want to split their heads open.

"And then as I asked him where to go, here or someplace else, I saw him fall apart. His mind jumped to Kyle, Kyle's staying at the hotel James would have taken me normally so he's first thought was not to go there..."

"You attacked him didn't you?" Logan felt the anger return and take control, he looked at Derek the same way he looked at James back in the car.

"Yeah I did! Didn't change a damn thing! I could see it in his eyes, I just wasn't good enough! He told me time and time again how he sleeps around and how it only had any meaning with Kyle! Kyle who he hid his existence from me when I thought we bared our hearts out! He promised that Kyle didn't matter but when push came to shove he thought of that bastard more than he thought of me! And when he left after I faced him with it I bet you my life he ran into that hotel! I can never have him, his Kyle's property he's just too scared to admit it! I don't even want him now! I HATE HIM!" More tears, more lies and half truths, he skipped the insults James told him, the ones he told James, the fact that he opened the car door and practically pushed him out. Derek of course knew there was more, he was naive not an idiot, but he was also mad with Logan's childish behavior, and if Logan's guess was right and James did go running into Kyle's arms to find some sick sense of pleasure and comfort then Logan wouldn't be the only one ending up hating James that day. Derek took a step back and walked up to his room leaving Logan with his angry tears and raging sobs, he knew Brianna was probably sleeping and she had studying and work later that day, but he desperately needed her help or he would punch Logan and go after James hunting him down for his life.

"Hello…who is this...?" Derek gave a sigh, she was so tired and sleep deprived from her weekly schedule that this was just cruel.

"Baby it's me, you have to come quick the idiots screwed it up. I have Logan over here and he's a mess James... I need to go find him, you have to come and handle Logan or its double murder by yours truly." Derek tried a joke and it worked too, it snapped her awake, and as she was preparing not letting go of the phone from her ear to listen to Derek giving her a rushed version of the story as she run through her options.

"Let Logan go to sleep, wait for me to come, and then you'll go check if James is actually there even he didn't do anything that moronic he won't pick the phone up, he's too much of a coward and if you run into Kyle say hello to him from me." Derek heard her slam her door and smiled at his partner's efficiency, fifteen minutes that's all it took her to prepare.

"Pummel him to death, got it. I'll try not do the same to Judas boy before I listen to his excuse. Love you, try to drive safe." He heard her turn her car on and she almost ran into a lamp post as soon as she hit the road.

"I love you too! Be there in a jiff. If I run into traffic leave the keys into your mail box and go ahead. Get dressed now. MOVE YANKEE!" Derek should have closed the phone but he couldn't resist the urge though.

"You grew up in the Bronx maharaja!" She was too dignified to answer him and slammed the phone on his face. Derek tried to call James picking on the curse words he would use with each passing ring but as almost always Brianna was right, he got the voice mail. He returned to Logan who immediately showed him the empty plate of food and stood up to go to his bed in silence, Derek sighed in relief when he didn't hear him lock the door behind again. He went to his own bedroom to prepare for his manhunt.

* * *

Once upon a time James ripped his clothes in one of his most vicious sexual escapades without any choice left to him, he called Derek and begged him to bring another set, that's how Derek knew where to find the hotel, he was a mad bull and the hotel clerk was the matador.

"Dude I'm not a paparazzi! I know he's here!"

"I'm sorry sir, but you are mistaken, Mr. Lesmont isn't currently staying under our establishment."

"Ok first of all drop the fake accent man, my girlfriend's an actual half-Brit, and second why don't you call Mr. Lesmont in his suite and tell him to get his demonic ass down here so I can read him his last rights!" The poor employee could be telling the truth of course and Kyle could have already left but if Derek accepted that then there was fat chance of finding the truth about James. He could have asked if James had booked a room under his own name but blinded by his fury Derek went for Kyle's neck first instead.

"Or I could call security and have you kicked out of here college boy!"

"Well, at least you dropped the accent...How about a James Diamond is he here?" The clerk was waving towards the security stuff and Derek was ready for a scene but then he heard an arrogant laugh coming from the side of the elevators to his left and quickly turned his head to see Kyle with a parade of bell boys and luggage.

"Oh, would you look at that! It's Beelzebub!" He shot at the desk clerk and went to face the devil who stared at him like he was seeing a one man circus show.

"James's little funny boy! What did I do to deserve this so early in the morning!" Kyle opened his arms for a mock hug Derek clenched his fists in anticipation.

"Is James upstairs?" Derek growled and Kyle licked his lips.

"Yeah fucked him all night and left him to sleep I have a plane to catch." Derek threw a punch but Kyle was quicker, he grabbed a bell boy and used him as a shield, before Derek could aim again security was on him dragging him away kicking and screaming, they took him in a back room where they tossed him violently on the floor telling him that they were calling the police. Derek waited for his arrest banging his head on a wall as atonement for his stupidity, when the door suddenly opened half an hour later and in came Kyle all smiles with the manager behind him.

"Apologize and we can leave." Derek was slow to fit the pieces together but he did as he was told eventually, he walked besides Kyle trying not to go for another attack as they went in the parking lot.

"Get in the car." Derek gave a growl and refused to move an inch.

"Just tell me if you were speaking the truth about James!" Derek bellowed.

"I already paid for your little tantrum hick Billy. I don't want to lose my flight too. Get in the car and we'll play twenty questions on the way to the airport." Derek grudgingly stepped in feeling sick to his stomach.

"Tell me if you saw James or not." Kyle took off his sunglasses as he drove, he almost never parted away with them and Derek started blinking with astonishment he had bags under his eyes just like Logan.

"Yes I did, we ran into each other yesterday." His voice was low and sad Derek couldn't believe his ears.

"I was out clubbing and I saw him in the hotel lobby when I got back." Derek desperately held his breath was the world coming to an end today?

"He screwed it up with Logan right?" Kyle's evil smile returned and Derek made a face.

"Wait go back, you met him in the lobby then what happened?" Derek asked fervently.

"No you tell me first, what happened between them?"

"Yeah they screwed it up..." Derek didn't want to give Kyle the satisfaction but he couldn't think of a way to avoid the question either.

"I knew it..." Kyle actually gave a sigh out, Derek's immediate thought was that he was yanking his chain.

"How bad is it? Can they fix it?" The concerned tone made Derek finally snap.

"Drop the act already! Enough! Did you or didn't you sleep with him!"

"He didn't even speak to me. One look and he walked right past me, he left." Derek didn't know if he was telling the truth or if he was covering up for James, he expected him to start laughing at him at any time. The hardest part was though that the more he looked at him the more he was reminded of Logan, only Logan looked more broken then again Kyle had more restrain over his heart of coal.

"So you didn't..." Derek tried to ask again but Kyle didn't let him finish.

"I have never seen him like this before, not even when I broke up with him, his eyes were dead. I've seen them happy, lustful, angry, loving, but never dead. And I didn't cause that, Logan did..." Derek didn't have to imagine that, he had seen how dead eyes looked himself that morning, the color was different though dark brown instead of hazel.

"So what you suddenly have a heart now?" Derek had to mock because he didn't want to feel sympathy for the monster.

"No, I just lost you know? When I saw James I was ready to show him the door just so I could see him beg. But then he looked at me and I knew it. I had lost the war without even fighting in the first place. I don't think we matter anymore to him it's all about Loggie now." There was the Kyle Derek knew full of hate and ego it actually calmed him down.

"So I'm thinking let Logan have James, I regroup see if..." He stopped they had reached the airport and that made him freeze, he drove near a sidewalk and gave Derek a gesture to get out.

"What were you going to say?" Derek was half way out of the car but he was just too curious to let this go.

"See if I want to fight Logan fair and square." Kyle mumbled his cheeks turned an actual red shade.

"You'll lose again." Derek said with conviction,

"You'll have to patch things up between them first." He gave Derek a challenging stare.

"I'll call you on their wedding day!" Kyle started laughing and drove off Derek kicked the pavement in frustration.

"Where the fuck are you James?"

* * *

"Wake up dove..." Logan felt someone stroke his head, gently, softly. He heard a voice calling him from afar but couldn't make out who it was, he couldn't control his own mouth in his sleep, he whispered James's name. But when he opened his eyes and saw Brianna standing above him with a kind smile on her lips he quickly returned to his heartbroken reality.

"How long have I been sleeping…" He mumbled while he fidgeted away from her, Brianna went over to his small window and opened the shutters, it was late the afternoon, the sun was now setting, Logan in his mind heard waves at the distance, almost twenty four hours now since James broke his heart.

"I did not want to wake you Logan but you have been sleeping all day and I have to go to work in an hour..." She didn't want to scare him or anger him, so she let him wake in his own accord.

Logan got up from bed he wasn't tired anymore but his body still felt heavy as led and his head still hurt probably from all the sleeping he had, his heart of course still refused to beat. He drugged himself up to the bathroom again Brianna went to the kitchen, she had cooked him dinner some Indian recipe, he cracked the hollow smile that had replaced his crooked one.

"I'm not a kid, stop treating me like one." Brianna shot her eyebrows, of course she had an answer but she saw no point on sharing it, she just sat on a chair by the kitchen table and let him take his time freshening up. When he got out he was caught on a crossroads back to bed or kitchen table, Brianna made it easy she had already cleaned her own plate and had her back turned away from him over the sink, so he walked up to her and took a seat as his own and started playing with his food, taking a few bites here and there.

"James isn't here yet..." He almost sounded grateful.

"No, he hasn't returned from wherever he is, but I can tell you this in dead certainty he did not spend the night in the hotel with Kyle." She turned and gave him a smile, Logan just rolled his eyes.

"Doesn't change a thing he still didn't give me what I wanted, he still didn't stop me when..." It did not matter in his mind at least because his heart actually skipped a beat, Logan wanted to rip it out for the betrayal.

"You want to run away again don't you?" She turned and sat down next to him, there was no point in asking him his version of the story, Logan was too angry and heartbroken and would only tell it from his side and as any good law student she preferred facts.

"I'm leaving, maybe tonight I don't know where to, back home, a hotel maybe..." She gave him that sarcastic smile of hers' the one she often gave James, Logan knew it from their dinner, she was up to something.

"If you want to go home, fine, I will not stop you but I imagine you want to avoid explaining to your mother what has happened, especially now that I've already talked to her." Logan gaped, his mind exploded.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TALKED TO HER!" Brianna took her glass of water and threatened to splash it on his face.

"Quiet dove, I am not very keen on shouting, she called at some point while you were sleeping, I picked it up, delightful woman by the way cannot wait to meet her, I told her you had a great date and you and James were both passed out cold. She was very happy for you." Logan actually considered slapping her hard.

"Who the Hell gave you the right to lie to my mom like that!" She stared at him amused, he looked just like James when she had called Brooke on her own to ask her for help against Kyle.

"When you are ready you can just tell her it didn't work out, she'll ask less questions and respect your privacy more this way at least than if you just show up on her doorstep in your current state lamb..." Logan damned her because she was right, he was still mad though.

"God! You can be worse than James when you want to!"

"Does that mean you are madly in love with me Mr. Mitchell?" He smiled and cursed her some more but he knew she was trying to help.

"Back to our subject, if you do want to leave..." She threw him a pair of keys that fell painfully on his lap, he looked at her lost.

"You can sleep on my couch, my place isn't the Diamond palace, but I don' t think you'll mind." Logan looked at the keys then at her conniving face.

"What's the catch?"

"James comes back you talk to him." He threw the keys back but she let them fall on the floor.

"I don't want to see his face again!" She shook her head and changed her tone to cold.

"That's unavoidable Logan, you have furniture here, a friend for life in Derek, and as heartbroken as you are right now you are not dropping school so you could run into him at any given time. You can either come and hide over at my place or you can stay here and assess the situation, but you will face James at some point, do not kid yourself."

_She's right. Why is she always right? Or there's a way out and I'm just not seeing it! Time I need time...I need to know for sure too, if James went to Kyle last night, if he gave him what he promised me. Did he promise me? I can't remember...Why can't I think straight? What have you done to me James...? Alright time to make my choices take step back, use my better judgment._

"I'll keep the keys, but I'll stay here...Until James comes back, I need to tell him face to face that I'm leaving make arrangements for the furniture until I decide if I want to find another place or go and live on campus, and then If you get a day off I'll move over to your place." The adult tone in Logan's voice made her skin crawl, her paternal grandfather talked to her about karma often enough, she never bought it. But seeing as Logan had used her own advice against her it suddenly made her change her mind, she wished Logan would listen to his heart properly for once, he choose cold logic instead.

She got up picked the keys and handed them over properly then picked her purse and coat and after kissing Logan's cheek she decided to withdraw, she needed a new plan to move Logan out of his torpor, she also had to wait for James to come back from whatever hole he crawled to hide, and with a sigh she also realized she needed to go to work. Logan was left alone finally he didn't need to pretend to eat, and he didn't need to fight back any tears, he unconsciously shot the crook smile though when he realized he had none left.

* * *

Derek checked every hang out James ever had, clubs, bars, theaters, movies. He called him every few minutes but still got the voice mail, he called some of James's friends and one night stands, no dice. After Brianna called him to inform him of her half-success, that Logan was staying but he had started to bottle his feelings up, Derek was ready to throw the towel, that's when his cell buzzed with the nickname "Princess" flashing on the screen.

"WHERE IN BLAZES ARE YOU WALDO!"

"James is in New York Mr. Tarling." A woman's voice on the line, one that shared the exact smug arrogant tone as James, Derek felt his heart drop. He and James only knew one woman who preferred to use second names when she hated the first ones.

"Mrs. Diamond...how are you?" If you could find a man not intimidated by Brooke Diamond, you would have also have found a suicidal madman. Derek hadn't crossed that line, thanks to Logan and James he had approached it but hadn't crossed it yet.

"A little frustrated with your lack of common sense, maybe college students get their Sundays off but I work from the home office and your constant calling kept distracting me."

"But why didn't you just turned the phone off or why didn't you or James just pick it up?"

"James has been sleeping all day, he's tired from his flight, and I am not or have I ever been a secretary. If somebody doesn't pick the phone you leave a voice mail young man." Derek really hoped Brianna had been the one to talk to her, she actually had a taming effect on the shrew.

"Noted. Ok, can you wake James up please...?" Worth a shot Derek thought.

"No. Anything else?" Derek was thrown back from her tone, Brooke took the silence as sign to attack.

"Alright then, maybe you can answer me a few questions. What is James doing here unannounced Mr. Tarling?" With her tone she could just as well be asking why the stocks fell.

"Visiting his mom..." Derek mumbled the first excuse that came to his mind.

"Have we met in person young man?" Was she calling from New York or the North Pole Derek wondered.

"Yes..."

"Then whatever gave you the impression I am either blind or stupid or do you think I'm both?"

"I..." He actually gagged.

"Is this about Kyle again?" Still she could just be asking about stocks.

"No ma'am…well not entirely..."

"Alright did James meet someone else with the same effect?" Subtle not a word you would find in Brooke's dictionary and business manual.

"Yes Mrs. D..."

"You are not ten Mr. Tarling it's either Brooke or Mrs. Diamond keep your silly nicknames for James. James called me earlier this week he told me about another boy that moved in with you is this about him?" Derek nodded for some reason even though he knew Brooke couldn't see him then he gave himself a bang on the forehead and remember to how to answer properly.

"Yes Mrs. Brooke..."

"You are not very smart are you? Anyway what's the boy's name? What did he or James do to each other to have him desperately come crying to me?"

"His name is Logan ma'am, and they...well they fell in love and then..." Could he just write an essay for her to grade?

"Can it be avoided?" Her tone was actually fearful now.

"Excuse me? I don't..."

"Can this love thing between my son and this Logan be avoided?" Derek paused, moment of truth right then and there.

"No Mrs. Diamond." He actually managed to say it crystal clear.

"Then James will re-assume his responsibilities this Tuesday. I will call you later for a more lengthy report on this Logan, and an update. Goodnight Derek." And then she hanged up leaving Derek desperately trying to remember what number did one call for the 911.


	14. Chapter 14

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: I know this chapter is unusually late, I got a summer job guys, so I can't dedicate the same time as I did on my writing. But I WON'T STOP EITHER! Promise! This chapter maybe a little confusing...AGAIN...probably because I can't stop writing the characters like total whack jobs! I expect someone to call me on this! If you are still reading I need your advice! I am trying to clean the mess and it gets messier! You are all welcome to review your opinions as always! It's direly important because we're reaching the end! Two or three chapters to go people!**

When James got up in the middle of the night after having passed out for God knows how many hours he wasn't surprised to see that the light in his mother's office was on. He walked past it and was heading for the kitchen for a probably futile attempt for a late snack, having eaten absolutely nothing for a day knowing that Brooke's fridge only carried the absolutely essentials, in other words mineral water. He didn't bother to hide his presence, it wasn't like his mom would take notice that he was awake or give him the time of day when she had immersed herself in work; he had reached the wooden staircase to go down a floor when her voice pierced his ears.

"Get in here young man!" His right foot slipped a few steps ahead, twisting slightly and shooting pain in his body but he grabbed the banister and prevented an overall fall. He balanced himself and turned back to enter her office and face her.

"Hi mom..." She was going through some photos and designs for an ad campaign and didn't look at him at all when he walked in her study and if James hadn't experienced a worse and more serious heartache just the other day or if he was a few years younger he would start screaming at her for how much of a bitch she is.

"I believe I took time from my overbooked schedule to teach you proper manners James David. You do not walk around a stranger's house like a thief in the middle of the night when you're a guest."

"Seriously mom? Stranger's house? What am I even doing here?" He was so mad at her for her snobbish welcome that he even forgot the reason, his empty stomach, and all the pain and guilt he carried.

"Running away from your new roommate, from what I heard, and once again not from your mouth, mind you." His mouth twisted in anger. He didn't expect Brianna to have the gull to call Brooke again after they had that huge blow out fight when she did it the first time a few years back. And it had to be Brianna; Derek feared Brooke and avoided her like the plague.

"What did she say...?" Brooke shook her head in frustration and disapproval.

"Mr. Tarling dear, not that charming lady friend of his and he didn't call me, I called him." James remembered he had forgotten his cell in his coat that for some reason now hung behind Brooke's leather armchair.

"Did you steal my phone!?" She actually looked up towards him and gave him a stern reminder who taught him the smug smile in the first place.

"No James I didn't. You come uninvited at six o' clock in the morning, spend a few hours locked in the guest room crying like a girl, then sleep for more than twelve hours, and I am supposed to do what? Nothing and leave you alone? Good to know your acting lessons are paying out; your comedy skills are top notch!" She laughed a little and James thought of the hyenas back in the Lion King.

"Are you done busting my balls or can I leave now?"

_**There you go, pretense of dutiful son dropped and shattered.**_

"Language James, I am and always be your mother." They rolled their eyes at the same time and both growled at each other.

"Can you decide if we're strangers or not Brooke this is getting on my nerves?"

"Damn it James, we're both! We hardly speak on the phone, I respect the life you build by yourself and never bother you even though I don't support your career choices, I patiently wait for you to wake up from your little comma and this is the attitude I get! Apples and trees James David, you are an adult now legally at least, stop and consider the other person for a moment." There was too much to take in simple sentence that James felt a dizziness take over his head, he stumbled on an armchair and fell opposite her.

"Are you trying to say you care mom?" There was a lot of sarcasm in his tone, a little bit of hope hidden somewhere in there too.

"Do you want to talk about our problems James or about this Logan that has you running up the walls?" She gave out a puff.

"Can't we do both?"

"You had your beauty sleep, I have a meeting at noon tomorrow, choose James." Brooke was a big fan of ultimatums.

"Us mother I want to know if we're fixable..." She looked into his eyes and curled her lips into a sad smile.

"You are such a disappointment James..." She said under her breath and James eyes shot out.

"...you and me both..." He was about to scream at her when she came around the desk and sat on the front side of it, positioning herself above him.

"Did you ever wonder why I kept the name Diamond after me and your dad divorced?" James didn't answer he was still stuck on being called a disappointment, Brooke saw it and hit him on the head with one of her folder cases.

"I am talking to you James!"

"I changed my mind..." He tried standing up; the second hit was even stronger.

"Still talking! Diamonds are made of coal!" James let out a grunt, she hit him lightly a third time just for the heck of it, she was actually amused, like James was now six again and she was trying to make him sit with his back straight.

"Diamonds start off as coal, and then they change, evolve, they become beautiful everlasting, they reflect the light and catch your breath." James focused on the menacing envelope ignoring his mother's platitudes.

"When I decided to start my business with the money your grandfather David left me and your father's support I choose to use the name Diamond instead of my own maiden name, part because it was beautiful and a stroke of marketing ingenuity part because I wanted your father to feel involved..." Her tone had the same arrogant detached shade but the things she said made James to actually pay attention now.

"...and then we had a little piece of coal of our very own..." James tried to remember when was the last time his mother touched his cheek with such love, ten or twelve years ago maybe, Brooke saw his hazel eyes looking at her with adoration so she changed her caress into a pinch snapping him back.

"I was so happy back then everything was too good to be true, the dream just had to go on, I had to make a diamond out of you too. So I pressured you like Hell!" She giggled James thought what the paper headlines would write on his trial for matricide.

"It worked, I obsessed on making you and the business into the most beautiful things the world had ever seen." James gulped then this train of disturbing thought started to sound all too familiar.

"Your father though reminded me that diamonds were hard not unbreakable. I had my own flaw and I think you inherited it from me James." She gave him the most apologetic look he had ever seen in his life, in any silver screen, theater class, not even in those orbs that had sucked him in like they were a dark hole.

"Love my boy, we both break with love." James felt the words echo in his mind.

"It took me a while to see it after your father left, I got stubborn, and refused to wallow in self-pity and misery I still had you, the company. But unfortunately I build both of you too good. The company boomed almost at the same time you begun to shine on your own. So I had to let one go and out of fear of eventually getting hurt again, I chose the one I cared for the most, hoping that away from me you would eventually be happier. I let you go before you let go off me..." One single tear that was all she would allow herself. James tried to make sense, was his mother the one insane or was it him because he was able to understand her way of thinking. She wanted him to grow and stand on his own two feet, and so she pulled away.

"Are you done...?" He killed any emotion in his voice; yes he understood what she was saying that didn't mean he liked it. He pushed his body up took a long breath in, and let all the anger out.

"What you're saying is you didn't want to screw me... WELL NEWSFLASH MOM I ENDED UP SCREWED ANYWAY! God how can you be so thoughtless? So what? I was making money and I saw the world and did things most kids my age never even dreamed off! I still wanted you and dad around! And what if it was my choice to model! I was thirteen! What did I know? I... I've never been happy in my life! My entire life! I thought I was when I modeled! No, I was just pleasing my shallowness and ego, which were both created by your actions. I wasn't happy with Kyle! He just fucked my brains over! Even my friends make me feel like I lack something mom, Derek and Brianna are the closest thing to a real family I have and some part of me is jealous of them both. When Derek wants to tell something exciting about his life he starts bragging about me, you can't begin to phantom how unworthy I feel about that and Brianna's like the wisest most mature person I know. I've never been happy and I'll never be happy! And...I...was stupid enough to think for a moment...that I could be...with...Lo..." James started to cry then, his mother wrapped her arms around him for the first time in years and held him close, she was crying too.

"Let go James, let yourself break..." Because in the end the Diamond name was just that, a name, in reality they were just a family doing what most families do, take each other for granted and hurt each other only to realize it far later, only now they were ready to face that and if they were allowed time maybe they were indeed fixable.

* * *

Hours later Brooke woke up, canceled any plans she had for the day and she and James tried frivolously to replace them with new ones, together. Maybe not as a mother and son but two people trying to get to know each other from point zero.

"Broadway!" James whined but it didn't work when he was three and wanted ice cream and it wouldn't work now.

"I have to go to enough shows to make a social appearance as it is James, have a care." She tried to rein her snobby attitude and failed miserably at it, James was still thankful that she tried.

"Okay, it's actually better now that I think about it, If I see an actual professional act on stage I may end up ditching school entirely and not just for a week." Brooke rolled her eyes.

"You are not staying here for a week young man."

"Maybe not here, but I am not going home until he's out..." They didn't talk much about Logan, small things here and there, Brooke sipped any info she could get like old wine, trying to make a strategy and see which side of the war she should be on.

"How are you so certain he's going to leave?" She asked with her detached familiar business tone in order to not scare him.

"He's probably already out, went back to his hometown or Brianna's place. I know him he's a coward." She scoffed at that.

"You're one to talk...So no theater... How about we max the old platinum card?" James made a face.

"I don't want to set foot in a store for at least a year..." She smiled; really reading the business paper would be more challenging.

"How many things did you buy this boy James?"

"Didn't buy him anything really, I gave him a lot of free clothes, he has cousin's Ben's build, and I did try to buy him one expensive outfit but that didn't exactly go as planned. And you can drop the third degree I see what you're doing." He said the last part menacing, like that would ever work on his lioness of a mother.

"Fine, I'm stopping ...But next time, get the boy something he actually likes, and try to do it in your anniversary or someday special..." James's lid blew open.

"Let it go okay! It's over you don't need to rub it in!" Brooke took his flustered expression as proof of how far from over it really was.

"How about the gym?" James would have killed himself, but then Brooke would just bitch about the blood stains on the carpet.

They went to the gym and after a long work out returned home to eat, James was reminded how it is to live constantly being served but unlike his childhood he found it completely bitter and overbearing now. The limo's leather seats were too hot and the fact that the maid had cooked for them not giving him the chance to do it himself annoyed him to no end, also Brooke's phone was constantly buzzing, if it wasn't her assistant, it would be her lawyer, or the chief of the marketing team, they would pressure and bug her about this or that and even she had enough at some point.

"Have I ever talked to you about my son Mr. Marson? Yes that young man in the photos on my desk. Yes, well he's here today and I haven't spend any real time with him in years, so if you would be so kind...SHUT YOUR TRAP AND SELL! SELL! SELL!" Her poor broke stoker paid the price and James started laughing uncontrollably. Brooke looked up at him with nostalgic fondness.

"I missed that sound. You haven't laughed all day did you notice that?" James nodded his laughter slowly died because even though he was exhilarated that he and his mom were trying to start anew his mind still ran back to Logan.

"If you talk to me James I will reconsider theater." She said in the most enticing tone she had in her armory.

"All right I'll talk but no bribes please?" He imagined he was eating a bagel instead of his fish and he just couldn't chew it down.

What do you want to know?"

"Let's cut to the chase. Why did you two fight?" James gave a lovelorn sigh, an echo of the one Logan gave him a while back and the memories of what happened in the car flooded his mind.

"He wanted sex, and I didn't..." One of the great things about this tangled relationship with his mother was that there hadn't been any shame in it for years.

"That's a first..." There has been a lot of sarcasm though.

"Yeah, surprise! Your whorish son said no! Mark your calendar folks! It's going to be a national holiday! Anyway he wanted to have sex with me, and I kept beating around the bush trying to restrain myself which was the hardest thing I've ever done because he just takes my breath away. I just didn't want to hurt him; I wanted to do it right for once. I wanted it to mean something, because I knew he would reciprocate the feelings not like Kyle..." For some reason at the mention of the name he expected to see Logan in front of him instead of Brooke screaming furious and showing him the door but Logan was too far away again, he was always either behind James or too far above him.

"He just kept on pushing and pushing, he threw himself at me, and I thought that I hate that side of him, because it's so out of his character, I thought he wasn't ready or maybe I just chickened out..." Brooke gave him a gesture to stop.

"Do you have any idea why he acted like that?" James made a face and hoped that the iron maiden that was Brooke Diamond wouldn't lose her calm.

"Probably because of Kyle...He met Kyle you see and I don't know he felt threatened or something. I made it very clear to him that me and Kyle were actually over, really over. But Logan has so many issues, low self-esteem, abandonment, loss...I made this stupid choice a few days before our date and I hurt him big time. I thought he was past it that he had forgiven me but I was wrong, so I think he just feared that I'd do it again and it was also like he had something to prove to himself. Worst part is he was half right, moment the shit hit the fan I went to Kyle." Brooke bit her lower lip urging him with her eyes to keep going.

"One look at Kyle and the first thing I thought was what the fuck is wrong with me. Yes, Logan hurt me when he pushed me out the door but what did it matter that it was over between us? I didn't want him to be right, I didn't want to be the one to put the final nail in the coffin...We may not be good for each other but that doesn't mean I stopped loving him. So I left both Kyle and Logan, my past, and my future unfulfilled. "James's eyes were moist wet but he didn't cry he made his choices, now he had to deal with them.

Brooke sat back on her chair and stared proudly at her son.

"I take it back. You and me aren't failures James David. You did the right thing, I'm proud of you." James smiled cheeks flushed red and Brooke gave out a small giggle.

"What's that?" She asked baffled.

"What?" He looked at her curious but then he felt his curled lip and froze, it was crooked.

* * *

After that James went to reset his biological clock, it took him a while but he managed to fall into a light slumber. Brooke always an opportunist called Derek and after playing a little cat and mouse or rather seven headed she-dragon and tiny little fairy, she got him to coax out that Logan hadn't left, he was withdrawn and cold but he was still for the time being staying in the apartment.

"Thank you Mr. Tarling. Your efforts as awkward and clumsy as they may be are appreciated. Make sure to follow Brianna's lead on whatever plan she may have, and I will take care of James and have him back in the first morning flight." She heard a voice raging from the other side, some professor shouting at Derek and she raised an eyebrow.

"Are you in class young man?" Derek started stuttering and Brooke fought back the urge to laugh warmly at him, like every time they talked.

"It is so disrespectful to your professor, your peers, and your parents even to talk on the phone while in class. Tsk, I expect that you will handle James's issue with better delicacy...or else." She hanged the phone hearing him choke and his professor berate him, and then she started laughing like a madwoman by herself. She called her assistant afterwards and before he could start to rant about the office work load, she stopped him cold. She gave instructions to him to e-mail her the flight schedules from New York to the city James had made his home, and gave him an hour to get to Brooke's place with some clean clothes for James. She had some of course like the sweatpants James borrowed when they hit the gym, but she wanted to keep those in hopes that James would visit again. Maybe to introduce Logan, she smiled at the prospect.

Time passed, Brooke only let James sleep for a couple of hours before waking him up, her version of a gentle wakeup call wasn't very affectionate.

"You have fifteen minutes James or I am leaving without you!" She boomed while raising the shutters and opened the window, walking around the wooden floor she stomped her heels to make enough noise to wake a dead man from his grave.

"Oh God mom, photo shoot doesn't start in another hour JEEZ!" James moaned in his half-sleep state. Brooke laughed when she saw his face turning red.

"Don't say it...I'm getting up..." James mumbled while he threw away the cover sheets.

"Wow, you think you're twelve again how precious..."

"I told you not to say it!" James got up and hurried to the bathroom.

They left twenty minutes later to spend their afternoon watching some block buster and then took a slow walk in New York's most infamous park hot dogs in hand.

"I haven't done anything like this in years…" Brooke mumbled fondly and James gave a smile.

"So, James tell me, how do you feel now after a day away from your little boy problem?" She asked and James let a sigh out.

"Well, you haven't exactly let me take my mind off of Logan mom." He complained but Brooke shrugged it off.

"I am trying to be supportive James but there are limits at how much a person can or should change for someone else's sake." She meant it as a joke but James pierced her with his eyes.

"I...wanted to change...I...thought me and Logan didn't have a chance if I kept on hiding behind the mask, acting like an uncaring bastard. You know being the son of Brooke Diamond comes with an attitude... so I tried to change for him..." He trailed off without control.

"You have matured James I can see that, did Logan do the same? Appreciate the effort even?" James took a moment more than he needed thinking back.

"Honestly no, I don't think so, I got him out of his comfort zone but that's it. Sometimes he's such a child and I thought it was cute but he can be so needy and selfish! God!" James had one hand fisting his hair and one foot kicking a pebble, Brooke though seeing her son twisting and suffering with his emotions decided that it was time.

"James you need to go back. The sooner the better." James expected this at some point, he prayed she wouldn't make an attempt to send him home so soon but he expected it nonetheless.

"No mom. I don't need to go. I don't need to say goodbye or fight for him or anything. I did that the moment I got in the plane." Brooke still had a few bites of food left; she threw the rest in the nearest trash can though and looked back at him angry.

"Did you take anything from your father I wonder?"James made a face.

"Look boy, you are hurt and angry and delusional but I don't think you want to be stupid!" James shook his head.

"From what you told me Logan is a very emotional person, maybe a little too much, but that can't be helped really. It's just how he is, and I think you love that part of him. Because you weren't brought up by emotional caring people. You need that James. Someone that can love you and hate you with all his heart." James looked at her thinking that he may have actually preferred the Ice Queen to this version of Brooke.

"Yes, maybe you don't want or need to say goodbye but don't let that fight of yours be the last thing you ever share with him. He loves you James or he did. And you know that. You don't need to say anything, fine. But after leaving the poor boy thinking that you probably ran back to Kyle he will have a few things to say to you and you have the responsibility to listen." Was Brooke using guilt to get to him or the hard cold truth and did it matter since she could obviously see that it was working.

"Yeah, but what if he cuts me worse this time? Or what if I cave and we go back pretending nothing happened just so we can hurt each other again?" Brooke gave him a sly smile.

"Or what if he finally accepts you for you and let's down all the walls and you both end up being happy together?" James started to laugh coldly.

"I told him there are no fairy tales mom...I never thought that you'd actually tell me otherwise." She rolled her eyes for a moment and then became solemn.

"We're people James. Fabulous, beautiful, talented people but still... we have a right to believe in anything we want." She started to laugh with his expression, but she soon stopped.

"There is not a person in this world that doesn't have the right to love son. You experienced a few more difficulties for someone your age should have sure, but don't let yourself stop now not when Logan is right around the corner." He wanted to sneer at that, he knew Logan better, even if he still was home he wasn't going to give him another chance, not a real one that is and if he was honest he didn't know if he wanted one anymore.

"Trust me, I bet you my fortune, Logan's still there and he's waiting to say goodbye not with his mouth James but with his heart and you have the responsibility to hear him, you owe it to both him and yourself." James didn't get it, what was the difference? Logan leaving with a cold goodbye or a warm meaningful kiss shouldn't he save himself from any further pain?

"Go back James please. It's the only way to take the next step." If James said no, then she was ready and prepared to tear his throat but luckily he gave her a small nod.

"Good, your flight leaves at seven tomorrow morning." As he tried to recover from the reminder that he was the spawn of one of the greatest manipulators alive, she grabbed the hot dog tangling from his hand and continued her stroll in the park like nothing happened.

* * *

Logan was still numb from his weekend the following Monday, he woke up early didn't eat a thing, got dressed and drove sheepishly to school. He even wore some of the surprise clothes James had left him the week before, he was of course planning to return them to James's closet as soon as Derek could point him to a dry cleaner's while the bags that were still abandoned in the backseat were bound for the mall. As he got his books he took time to give the clothes a glance and was furious to find that James had taken off the price tags at some point either when he was changing in a dressing room or when he was at the bookstore.

That shook him a little but he soon settled, that wasn't even close to the worst thing James did to him that day, he went to class and focused on just getting through the day. He found the lectures boring and the company of his new friends overbearing worst part of all was when his mother called. She sounded giddy and excited for her son's first boyfriend and after playing along for a few minutes he excused himself and hung up. He send Brianna an angry text informing her that if his mother got hurt by her little ruse he was going to beat the crap out of her, and then went to the library on the first break he could spare so he could get away from all the loud noises of the bustling campus. Nothing worked though, neither classes or studying or his new friends. He needed an outlet, so he got his laptop out found Kyle's fan mail and send out the most hateful letter that he could compose; these things got read by a publicist or an assistant anyway. He spend another hour looking at James's Tweeter page with blood red eyes, the last post was Saturday morning.

"GOD! I love kissing my Loggie!" Logan felt like vomiting but he hadn't eaten anything. He returned home early in the afternoon took two trips up and down the stairs to empty the car and went to the convenience store to get some groceries to cook just to prove to Derek that he wasn't a child, even though he acted like one all day long.

When Derek came home he had a nervous face that even Logan in his current state could make it out.

"You found him didn't you?" Tone like stone unemotional, unmoving, no skipping heart this time.

"You know we had classes at the same time this morning, you could have given me a lift to school." Derek tried to jog Logan's better nature; Logan gave him an angry scowl.

"Fine, he's in New York, he flies in tomorrow." Derek felt that he needed to warn Logan even though it could make him change his mind and go to Brianna's place tonight.

"Good." Logan returned to steering the pot of soup and turned his back to his roommate.

"He went to his mom's place dude, he didn't sleep with..." Logan shook his head.

"Don't. I'll hear it from him tomorrow." Derek would have smiled but Logan turned back to clear his intentions.

"I am still leaving. Don't get your hopes up. I just want to say that to his face." Derek got mad and was ready for a fight but Logan asked him to grab some plates because dinner was ready so he held it in and made the table. They ate in silence.


	15. Chapter 15

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promise sexy times later)**

**Warnings: Smut language**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: Alright, this is the second to last chapter. Since I'll probably rant and flail on the last one I need to keep this one simple. Thank you for everything, best wishes, hope you leave a word!**

Logan didn't wait for James to come home, he wasn't sure if it was out of fear to face him or he was just tired of all the drama and wanted to avoid it so early in the morning. He decided he should go on with his day like if it was just any other day; he was in class taking notes giving the black board his undivided attention at the time James arrived home. Derek on the other hand was nervous and jittery; he didn't know what he should do. Hear his friend out or bash his scull open. James was a little tired by his flight but that didn't torment him as much as the thought that he was coming home to say goodbye to Logan.

"I'm home." Derek heard him mumble as he walked silently in their house.

"Thank God..." Derek whispered relieved and then ran up to him grabbing him furious by the shirt.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! I SWEAR DIAMOND!" For a moment James looked shattered, broken and terrified, he thought it was Logan screaming at him instead of Derek when he recognized the features though he let a sad sigh escape his lips.

"Oh, it's you..." He tried freeing himself from Derek's grip but the comment and the dead hazel eyes made Derek snap and pushed him out the door.

"It's me! Oh, goody Emperor James The Heartbroken remembers me!" James shook his head he was really not up for games, he tried to enter the apartment again but Derek blocked his way.

"Dude...not in the mood..."

"Apologize!" Derek gave him a borderline psychotic smile and put his arms across his chest.

"What...Derek stop? I need to get a shower and see if I can make it to an actual class. You can play angry big brother later." Derek slammed the door on James's face and positioned himself behind it in order to stop James from opening it again. James twisted his keys in the lock and tried a push but that didn't budge Derek the slightest.

"Derek seriously, let me in!" Derek's madness seemed to be contagious because now James was boiling with it too.

"I PUT UP WITH LOGAN'S CRAP ALL WEEKEND I AM NOT PUTTING UP WITH YOURS DIAMOND!" James started banging the door with one hand, jerking the lock with the other and pushing his body against the wood surface huffing like a mad bull. The door relented a few inches, and James stuck his foot between the opening space only to have Derek give him a vicious kick shooting James back.

"DEREK STOP THIS! LET ME IN MY HOUSE!" James bellowed between panting breaths.

"NO! APOLOGIZE FIRST!" James took a few steps back and slammed himself against the door. Derek heard the loud thunderous smash and threw an eye through the pip hole to find James rolling on the floor in pain.

"SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE GOOFY!" He started to snicker but then when he saw James lifting his face with red hot tears coming out of his eyes Derek yanked the door open.

"I'm sorry...bro...I'm so... sorry..." James said with a choked throat, Derek fell on the floor pulling his shaking body to a hug and he let the tears he was holding himself since the Sunday morning he saw Logan devastated.

"It's okay James... You're home now...I'm here...everything is going to be okay..." James cried more uncontrollably now, out of relief and out of guilt, he was glad to have his best friend's support, but he wanted to be in Logan's embrace instead.

* * *

Once James had settled they sat on the couch with two coffee mugs in hand, Derek tried a joke about the missing table and James was kind enough to fake a laugh, there was tension in the air between them though; they both had questions to ask neither knew where to start.

"Seriously you went to your mother's? The bathtub's big enough; you could have killed yourself in there, save me from having to talk to her on the phone." James rolled his eyes.

"Well, I actually think that was the best decision I made all weekend. I think we bonded somehow. Started over, a few baby steps but still it's a start." Derek threw him a panicked side glance.

"Tell me she's not going to come here for visits now!" James started laughing shaking his head; he hid the fact that he had keys made for her. Then they both felt it was time, James threw his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

"Logan..." Derek took a solemn sip from his coffee deciding on where to start.

"Alright first of all, I told you so. Sorry for the cliché but I still need to say it because I knew you guys weren't ready to date and I told you that. Second of all, I'm sorry James but there are things that you have to hear from him, so I am not telling you much." James saw Derek struggling with his words, he felt bad about it, and he honestly didn't want to get him in the middle of this.

"Logan, you can imagine how he was Sunday morning and if you can't, well, you can take a look in a mirror. Now he hovers between zombie and madman, he'll either ignore your existence or start screaming at you because you're breathing."

_**It's because he feels too much. Brooke's right, he had to hide his feelings away all this years about his dad, the bullying, he didn't want people to notice him and see how alone and hurt he was and now...I broke the dam and he doesn't know how to fix it.**_

"He hasn't left though." Derek tried to make out if James was hopeful, angry or anything else when he said it but he just couldn't read him.

"No, but James he can leave anytime he wants, Brianna gave him a key to her place, I think he made up his mind the moment he saw that you weren't coming home Sunday and just wants to tell you he's leaving." Derek bit his lip, there were more things to say because Logan had told him quiet coldly in the face that he was indeed leaving, and then there was the Kyle issue and the actual break up between James and Logan but Derek felt that it wasn't his place to say anything about those things. He and Brianna had decided to let things unfold; see what do their friends want and if it was indeed for their own good. And although Brianna had a contingency plan, one that Derek found ridiculous, then would they immediately interfere.

"Yeah I get that. Thanks Derek. For everything." James put a hand on Derek's shoulder gave him a warm smile and after leaving his coffee cup in the kitchen sink headed for a shower, he stopped at the bathroom door.

"I need to talk alone with him bro..." James asked knowing that Derek had already gone out of his way since he was caught up in this.

"I'll go have a burger man. James just try and do what's best for you, both of you. Please?" James shrugged his shoulders and entered the bath.

_**And how the hell will I know what that is...**_

Logan parked his car and stood silent in the driver's seat for half an hour in one hand he had his apartment keys on the other he had Brianna's. If James wasn't home already he would be at any moment. He had to choose tonight, although in truth he had chosen the moment James got out of the car and left him broken. He walked into the apartment to see James sitting by the table, he looked tired and sad and anxious, one look and Logan's conviction wavered and his brain caught fire.

_Look at you, after all you've done to me you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Damn it James. Why are we so screwed up? Why couldn't we just be happy together? Why couldn't you love me enough? Why can't I love you the right way? I'm just so sick of it James. I'm just sick and tired. I have to do this..._

He dropped his laptop on the couch as he felt the hazel eyes pierce his back, he turned and walked to sit on James's opposite, and when he saw the empty table he shook his head and let a sarcastic smile creep on his lips. James wouldn't cook him breakfast again. No more fantasies of love making on the tilled floor, no more crooked smiles and ruffled hair.

"You came back, that's good." James saw Logan's blank expression and he could see that he had just stated a fact, nothing more nothing less.

"Yeah, I didn't know if you'd still be here though..." James was almost whispering, his heart was racing, fear, guilt, anticipation, love. He was still so much in love with Logan that he felt like his next breath would be the last. Unfortunately for him Logan saw it all, it made things harder for him but it motivated him too. Logan needed this to end.

"Where did you go after you left?" Cold tone, cold eyes, body still as ice. James's heart broke into a million pieces.

"The hotel. To see Kyle." No reaction from Logan, he knew how stupid and immature James could be and besides, honestly he even pushed him out the door. They were both responsible for that.

"I didn't sleep with him. I left the moment I saw him. I stayed in New York with my mother." James wanted Logan to believe him; it meant everything that he did. It meant absolutely nothing to Logan only the fact that James left him hurt and devastated mattered.

"Doesn't change anything. I was right. It's always someone else you run to, it's never me James. It's never going to be me. You promised that you didn't want to hurt me and you still did." James picked some sadness slip in Logan's voice, some resentment and disappointment. Not much though Logan still looked like a statue made of stone and James hated himself for having turned his Loggie to this empty shadow.

"You pushed too hard Logan. You tried to guilt me into sex, didn't even consider what I wanted our first time to mean. Yes, I betrayed you in a way, but you hurt me too." Logan didn't want to admit that James was right but he had to.

"Yeah, I was selfish and childish, half the blame is mine, but I am neither of those things now, not anymore, I can see it clearly again. We were wrong for each other. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. So yes, maybe it was good we didn't have sex. But I wouldn't have regretted it even if we did. I am not changing my mind on that. I wanted you to be my first James. It was my choice and I chose you. It's just that simple." Logan took a big breath, James knew what was coming next, he had to stop him somehow, anyway possible.

"I love you..." James's tongue slipped, Logan lowered his head on the floor for a few seconds and closed his eyes, when he faced him again he looked at him straight with all the decisiveness he could muster.

"I'm leaving James...I can't...we can't." He got up and James did the same, but now James's face was hardening too.

"I'll be out by the end of the week. You can have your clothes back if you want them, and I'll give you a month's rent. If you want me gone sooner I have a place to go..." James banged his hands on the table.

"TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL LOGAN! JUST TELL ME!" James was angry now because once more Logan was running away, James felt that he deserved better treatment, he still wanted more from Logan not just a recount of their mistakes.

"No. There's nothing to say James. I told you and you didn't listen to me, you never do." Logan gulped and waited for James to explode, James entire body shook, his hands were fists now, but something stopped him from going overboard, his mother's voice echoing in his mind. He's waiting to say goodbye not with his mouth but with his heart and James knew somehow that there was still time.

_**You're not ready yet. Empty words Logan, they don't mean anything. I'll wait. I am here and I'll be waiting for your goodbye. I have to hear you say it properly because right now you're doing the exact same thing I do when I act like I own the world. You're wearing a mask hopping I will look away and don't see who you really are.**_

"Are we done here? Because I need to go study." James gave him a nod, he saw no point to continue the hide and seek Logan was determined to play.

"You can stay as long as you want, and no, you can keep the clothes they were a gift. And I am not taking your money; you haven't even signed the leash yet." Logan didn't argue he knew James better and besides his points were valid ones.

"If you can handle it I need to stay for a week, I am going to Brianna's until I find someplace else but I'd rather she had a day off when I move there. I think I may go and live on campus actually." James looked at him unfazed; he asked himself why didn't he feel any jealousy about being second best again? Especially since Logan was telling him the truth this time? Why didn't he feel that his world was coming to an end? Maybe because a week was all it took for Logan to make James fall in love with him, maybe another week was enough to wake Logan up. And if it wasn't there was nothing for James to do than let Logan go.

"Alright, a week. Let's not fight though, end it civilized like adults." Logan nodded in consent. He made plans in seconds on how to avoid James until the weekend. No reason to make this harder than it had to be.

Logan turned and left for his room, leaving James behind him. It was like a rehearsal of things to come. The moment he closed the door he fell on the bed hand on his beating chest. His heart ached and screamed remaining still unfulfilled. He was still unsatisfied even after all that was said and done.

_Why...What do I need to do to let you go James? Why do I still want you? Why can't I just leave tonight and start rebuilding my life? I feel so cold when I see you but the moment I can't, I feel like I'm thrown into burning magma and only you can pull me out. What am I going to do? _

He closed his eyes and wished for his tears to come back, because this empty hole where his passion and longing used to be was swallowing him whole. Where did the love go? Why didn't James ever come after him? Why couldn't he just tell him how he felt, really felt, from the moment he first saw him at a time that seemed so far back to him now? Logan kept on asking himself but the answers didn't come. He buried himself in his books as always but time moved slowly to midnight since he now knew James was just in the other room. Unconsciously he started to hum. A song his father taught him, and for the first time in days Logan felt alive. He didn't notice it though.

* * *

James went to his own bed and called Derek, he just told him that Logan was going to stay for a few days and they didn't work it out. Derek promised he was coming home as fast as he could, but James assured him there was no need. He was planning on going to sleep anyway. He closed off his phone and took out his notebook, the one from his writing class, he tore the script he had written and started scribbling a new draft. A story between two friends that grew up together and slowly, naturally, fell in love. If James was denied his happy ending in his real life he wanted someone, even if that someone was fictional to have it. He changed one of his two protagonists name a million times, it would be really sad and pathetic to name him Logan after all. So he named him Hortense just because it was funny, or it was a way for James to ask for help from Logan's guardian angel.

Derek was arguing with Brianna on the phone on how juvenile her plan was. Logan was too smart to fall for it, James was a professional actor and Derek had absolutely no faith in himself. But she was relentless.

"We went through it a thousand times my love! It's going to work. We give them time and if nothing happens..." Derek gave her a growl every time he heard her say it, it sounded more and more real.

"...then we break up."

The next day James was too busy catching up with his classes and Logan actually asked one of his college friends for help to gather the information and the paper work needed for him to get a campus room, but when he saw the long list of applicants waiting for someone to cancel he felt his stomach twisting in a knot. He didn't want to look for another apartment but he had little choice. Brianna called him at some point, she sounded irritated with something but she was vague about it. She just told him that it had nothing to do with him. Derek in the meantime was a nervous wreck and actually did some rehearsals in front of a mirror.

"Snow ball's chance in Hell this will work." He kept mumbling over and over again.

James didn't jog or cook anything for them that or any following day, Logan didn't come home earlier than eleven each and every night; he went out to the library, to the movies, with some friends for dinner. Brianna called James and berated him for being a lousy friend to Derek on Thursday. She screamed and cursed and James just took everything in silence giving her an apology at some point making her slam the phone on his face. Logan went out with Derek for coffee, there was something off with him Logan noted. When he asked if it had anything to do with himself and James Derek scoffed it off.

"The world doesn't revolve around you selfish pricks." Logan apologized and Derek said nothing more on the subject.

James was asked out for the weekend and shot the guy down coldly, Mel saw it and smiled.

"Keep on fighting." She said to him but he gave her a sad thankful look and she didn't bother him again.

When Logan talked to his mom one day he couldn't keep pretending, he told her that he and James weren't going to work and he was moving out from the apartment. She warned him not to do anything stupid and hasty, make sure what he really wanted, and try to see it from James's point of view. Logan couldn't believe his ears when she started narrating one of the bigger fights she had with his father. He tried desperately to remember the scene and then realized that they often went out on dates by themselves to come back acting solemn and cold at each other. Apparently they just didn't want to have their fights in front of their son. He was both thankful and angry at the same time because James was right; there were no fairy tales in this world apparently.

Friday, Derek was ready to call the thing quits but he received a text from Kyle of all people asking him if Logan's and James's wedding had a date for him to crush yet. Derek called Brianna and told her that if the plan didn't work she should actually break up with him for real. For a week they barely saw each other and when they were caught in the same room they felt trapped, they didn't speak to each other either, Logan said good morning once and received a longing stare from James that made his insides burn, he didn't do it again. But when night came Logan couldn't sleep without holding the tie from his designer outfit and James stared at Logan's closed door for hours even until dawn once. James still waited and Logan still couldn't find the words.

Brianna changed her day off to a Sunday desperately trying to stall because Derek called her ranting that Logan had started to pack and James not wanting to see the sight went to the gym.

"Alright we need to do it now!" She ordered, Derek gulped and stuttered.

"I…I'm...I'm not...re..." Brianna started to scream obscurities in his ear trying to get him into character; he caught the name Brooke in one of the sentences and started to yell back.

Logan was picking up some of his plates from a kitchen cabinet when he heard Derek cursing from inside his room; he slowly went up to the closed door trying to make sense of what was happening.

"And another thing you keep talking to me like I'm some sort of idiot! What does that supposed to mean! Well you know what! FUCK YOU!"" Logan was thrown back by Derek's shouting, he heard furious stomping footsteps but he couldn't move Derek thrust the door open and caught him red handed. He shook his head and bit his lip. Logan turned pale and looked sick with worry.

"What happened...?" Derek passed him giving him a little shove; grabbed his things and went for the exit.

"I am going out..." Before Logan could say anything else he vanished, leaving Logan so stunned that he stopped making any moving preparations. An hour later he called Brianna her cell phone was off, he called Derek but he hung up refusing to answer. Logan fell on the couch realizing that his friends had a fight, and of course it was his fault, his and James's.

* * *

James got back a few hours later, body and mind exhausted, he wanted to stay at the gym but he called his mother and she coaxed him to go back to face the situation like a proper Diamond. He saw Logan walking up and down the living room like a man possessed. He turned and looked at him and jumped in panic.

"Oh God...I thought it was Derek..." James couldn't make much sense of Logan and he took a few steps back when the other came up to him.

"Have you talked to him?" James was ready to ask who but Logan gave a grunt.

"Derek! Have you talked to Derek! He and Bri had a fight!" Realizing he was both too close to James and he was shouting he pulled away and fell once more on the couch. James shook his head.

"No I haven't...Are you sure they had a fight?" It sounded a little farfetched to James that they would pick this day of all days to do it; Logan looked up at him and shrugged his shoulders.

"I think they did. Derek had a fight with someone over the phone and then left I can't reach Bri since..." James nodded and picked his phone up dialing but he heard Derek's ring tone coming from outside the apartment, they both turned to see him enter. He was angry and irritated and looked at them in contempt; he ignored their scared faces and went straight for his room.

"Oh my God…they had a fight..." James mumbled, Logan jolted at the sound of the slamming door.

"And it's our fault..." Logan looked at James guilty and torn.

Derek fell against the door flustered and smiling, he thanked his luck that James didn't notice him hiding across the street waiting for him to come back. He was actually starting to enjoy this. Serves the jerks right for making him go through a fake break up, he texted Brianna telling her this was actually working and she answered him with a simple: "I have faith in you." He erased it just in case and waited for his roommates to fall apart.

Logan urged James to check up on Derek but James was hesitant, if they were indeed the ones to blame for the rapture on their best friends relationship then obviously Derek wouldn't want to see either of them.

"If you don't go, then I will. But you're his best friend; he'll open up to you..." Logan tried not to over think the fact that he was talking to James, the situation called for maturity even if his heart started to beat like a pogo drum.

"I'll make it worse..."James though started to walk towards Derek's room, because he saw Logan's dark eyes and he would never say no to them, and the one time he did, a part of him regretted it deeply now.

He knocked on the door waiting for an answer and when he heard nothing he slowly entered the room. Derek was lying on his bed arms used to cover his eyes taking long heartbreaking breaths like he was a man on death roll, James walked towards him slowly and hovered above him shaking like a leaf.

"Hey..."

"Go away..." It came out a little more childish that Derek aimed for and he started to get nervous, Logan was easy, emotional, James could potentially see through this in five seconds flat.

"I'll go away if you want me to, but just tell me because we're worried did you and Brianna have a fight?" Derek heard the anxiety in James's voice, he was good to go.

"We broke up ok!" He shot his body up and screamed it in James's face; James looked like somebody stabbed him in the back.

"Oh God! Derek tell me what..." Derek pushed him over and went to the living room scaring Logan to his death.

"We broke up, and before you selfish assholes put me through the Spanish inquisition, part of the fight was because you are insensitive immature sons of bitches! And no! I don't need your sympathy or your help!" James stood frozen behind Derek; Logan though started to mumble fervently.

"Just tell me what happened...maybe I can talk to her. Please man, I'm so, so sorry." Derek's real problem with all this was not to explode with laughter.

"You know something Mitchell..." He stopped feeling James's hand on his shoulder; he turned and saw him begging with his eyes. Derek understood that he wanted to protect Logan and take the blame all by himself. Logan was so worried that he didn't notice a thing.

"You both are hopeless..." Derek mumbled and went back to the plan.

"Anyway, we had a fight I told her that giving Logan asylum was too much, that you could still work it out if you stayed here, and one thing led to another and we started fighting about us! Like that we hardly ever see each other and that she thinks I'm a naive idiot, although I think you agree with her on that since I am the last one to know what's happening around here." James let a sad sigh out while Logan shook his head, his eyes were starting to get moist and Derek decided to drop the guilt trip.

"I'm going back to bed, if you leave tonight Loggie just drop a word ok? That harpy can't steal my brother away." He turned and went back to his room slouching defeated leaving Logan and James staring at each other lost.

"What are we going to do?"

"How should I know? You're the genius! Think of something! We have to fix this mess!" James went ballistic and Logan made a face.

"Don't shout at me Diamond! That's what started this whole thing in the first place. And none of the crap I know can mend relationship problems! I wouldn't be packing if I could give you a heart transplant!" James looked at him confused; Logan actually gave him a faint smile.

"That didn't make much sense..." James giggled, Logan rolled his eyes.

"I know, I'm socially awkward remember? Can we focus on Derek now? Ok so what's the standard procedure when you get dumped?" James scratched his head trying to remember what Derek did the one and only time James was on the receiving end of a break up.

"Well, I think I have an idea but I'll need your help. You have to back me up on this, can you handle that?" Logan nodded making James get all serious trying to imitate his mother. While the two of them hatched a plan Derek was eavesdropping from his door and when he heard his roommates talk to each other like two normal caring people he ended up doing a silent victory dance for his success.

* * *

When James came back in Derek's room he was wearing one of his spotless outfits that made him look like the winner of the "sexiest man alive award", Derek saw his smug smile and bright eyes and gave a discouraging huff.

"Don't even think about it." He went back to his cell phone game, James just ignored him.

"Get dressed, boys night out." James ordered Derek shot an eyebrow.

"I'm the only one hundred percent male in this house Sissy, and I have no stomach for tequila shots." James didn't stop smiling even if Derek was pushing it with the gay jokes.

"You get up, change and go out with us or I lock the door and teach you how to be a good kisser. I think that's why Brianna's leaving you anyway." Derek started to laugh, he had missed this side of James, he picked himself up and opened his closet.

"Loggie's coming too right?" James went behind him and picked the only pair of pants that he didn't find hideous and handed them over to Derek.

"He's shaving." James turned to leave the room but took a few steps back; Derek was picking on a clean shirt hands still in the closet.

"Oh, and Mr. Tarling..." Derek shivered from James's tone it had Brooke written all over it.

"...over or not I'm still the only one who gets to call him Loggie!" James slammed the closet door missing Derek's fingers by inches.

"WHAT THE FUCK HANNIBAL!" James left the room whistling ignoring the oaths of vengeance Derek shouted at him.

Logan picked his own clothes with the door of his room locked, he wanted to look good for some reason but he wanted to accomplish it without James's help, he pulled it off quiet well too, he felt sad about it though. He ended up looking like his father in one of the old photos from the time he still played in jazz clubs.

_I can't look too sexy, it'll make things awkward between us again, I am leaving this behind anyway, even if Brianna doesn't want me to stay with her I can go someplace else tomorrow. I have friends now or maybe I can stay another week for Derek's sake. EXCUSES MITCHELL! COME ON GROW UP ALREADY! Next thing you know you'll want James to sing you to sleep._

He was ready to start changing again when he heard a soft knock on the door.

"Logan, we're waiting for you..." James said from the other side, Logan gave a frustrated sigh out and unlocked the door.

"I'm ready..." He opened the door to find James standing too close to him, their eyes locked and their breaths mingled hot in the air between them, inches away from a kiss again, like the first night they went out.

"Don't..." Logan begged whispering making James pull back.

"I wasn't going to..." James mumbled and Logan smiled crookedly for the first time in days.

"Sure, let's pretend I bought that..." He walked over at Derek's room hands in his pockets putting distance between himself and James.

_**Don't do it tonight Logan. Please don't say goodbye tonight...**_

* * *

They didn't take the car, they were planning of getting themselves wasted anyway at least Derek and James were since one was legal to drink and the other had the best forgery of a fake I.D in three states, they walked down the street joking about who needs Brianna and her five star restaurant and expensive champagne but each of the three had hidden fears and doubts, James felt that Logan would start running away at any second, Logan was afraid that he'd board the heart breaking roller coaster again and Derek thought that Brianna's plan was going too smoothly and it could untangle at any moment. They were right across the park that James went for his morning jogs when they noticed that a small college pool house had a party sign on the door.

"Oh my God! This is perfect!" James beamed.

"Karaoke night! Seriously, you just want to strut your stuff out Barbara!" Derek teased his toddler of a friend.

"This could actually work..." Logan was the one to open the door and the first to go in the others followed behind him.

The place was packed and for a moment they split up lost in the crowd, Derek searched for a table like he was Indiana Jones, James recognized one of the waiters, he had sex with him some months ago and a wicked idea crossed his mind, he put his most seducing smile on and went to get beers, three of them one for Logan too. Logan stood frozen still and looked shocked at the singing stage.

_There's a piano. They have a piano dad...I know what I have to do, what to say to him, maybe the timing is wrong and I'll walk over Derek but he'll understand right? Besides there's something wrong. Derek hasn't stopped laughing since we left the house and Brianna isn't the type to break up with her boyfriend over the phone for the sake of someone else even if it's me and James. There's a chance their trying to fix our mess. God bless them, but I need to do this. It's destiny..._

He felt someone grip him by the elbow and turned to see James staring him eyes blazing.

"Derek found a table. Last one." Logan smiled and let James lead him; it was like James himself had consented on Logan's silent decision. They sat down on a circular booth on a far corner from where they could barely see the stage. James left three beers on the table and looked at Logan slyly knowing that tonight Logan would humor him and do something crazy. They each took one and banged them together. Soon the place was filled with a cacophony of sound and music. James took lead on the insult front, howling like a dog every time he disapproved at someone's failed attempts to sing. Derek hit him in the head a couple of times trying to stop him but soon he became his trusted number two, neither noticed Logan's focused look, humming and stroking his fingers in the air trying to remember every practice session he ever had.

"Okay, ten more minutes and I'm going up there to teach them how it's done." Logan looked at James and it was the James he met the first time he saw him, arrogant and cocky and steaming hot, he smiled at him fondly because he knew the other side too. The man who cooked and dressed him and made him ran, the James that held him on the pier and sang to him looking across a purple colored sky. He loved him, with all his heart and soul but he was convinced that their love was a malady, an incurable disease and Logan couldn't bear it anymore. He leaned towards Derek taking advantage that James was lost in thought trying to pick a song to blow the crowd; he took the chance to clear his doubts before proceeding towards his freedom.

"Derek, can I ask you something?" Derek turned to him happy smile plastered on his face.

"Sure little bro, what is it?" Logan's face hardened he had no choice but to revert to his cold persona if he wanted an honest answer.

"Did you talk to Brianna before we left the house to tell her that me and James are back on speaking terms, or are you waiting for the morning after this just to be sure?" Derek's expression was all the confirmation Logan needed, before Derek could find an excuse Logan smiled to him warmly and pulled back. More time passed Derek now had fallen back on his chair looking guilty of murder, James was lost in the music waiting for a chance to jump on stage, and Logan tried desperately to relax because this would be the most nerve wrecking thing he'd ever done. Eventually James saw his chance and stood up with a victorious smile to dazzle the crowds.

"Prepare to be star struck gentlemen." He was ready to leave for the stage after signaling the DJ but Logan grabbed him by the hand, he even linked his fingers into James's own.

"No, my turn." James looked at him astonished; his heart made back flips one after another, Logan squished his hand and bit his lip pinning James on the spot with his black hole eyes. He let him go and started walking towards the stage shivering. James looked back at Derek for a brief second to turn back to Logan, part of him exhilarated, part of him terrified he didn't know what was going through Logan's mind, he never expected him to go for the spotlight.

Logan went up the stage trying not to look back at the crowd, he walked to the DJ and asked if he could use the piano, he got an excited nod for an answer and turned slowly to take his seat. The crowd was cheering and clapping but that made Logan's stage fright worse. He fumbled with the microphone and it slipped through his fingers making the audience laugh, James and Derek included only they found his clumsiness adorable.

"Is…this...thing on…?" Logan whispered at the mike and his voice came out hoarse and choked, he tried to place it on the stand but it kept on tilting and banging on the piano giving out booming screeches that made the patrons shout at him in discontent, the DJ eventually set it up giving them a worried smile. Logan was sweating bullets as he pulled the piano open feeling the pressure of a hundred eyes.

"Umm…I'm…very…out…of..." The audience started to shout at him to get on with it and any color he had left vanished from his skin.

"What is he doing up there, he's going to have a panic attack…" Derek said to James worried for his friend's well being but James looked like he just had an aneurism, his mind exploded in memories.

_**Dad played the piano until the neighbors called the police…**_ _**he was a musician used to be in a jazz band that's how he met my mom…Oh my God Logan…you can't…don't tell me you are going to…Oh God….**_

"…practice...and the only one who's heard me sing for the last couple…of years is my mom…." Logan mumbled and the audience erupted with laughter, he was ready to fall on the floor and bawl like a baby, and then it hit him, the reason he was doing this was to free himself from tears and heartache, he turned to see James standing up frozen and he wished he could see the hazel eyes clearly because the distance between them was in the way, always there was distance, and nerves and love that made him shiver. He stroked some keys trying to see if the piano was tuned but the crowd reacted to it like he was in the arena, they screamed and booed and ordered him to get off stage. He turned his head away from them because James's voice simply wasn't one of them and looked in concentration on the keys; he hit them again only this time he was spot on.

_Alright dad, this is for my guy let it just reach him ok?_

He closed his eyes and slowly tilted to the microphone; he took a refined breath, parted his lips and let his voice out so it could follow the melody his fingers created with each stroke.

"_Never know how much I love you …"_

No one heard the first words the crowd was still shouting and James could only hear the pounding of his own heart but they heard the piano music melodically building up and slowly quieted down, and then they noticed Logan's crystal voice…

"_Never know how much I care  
When you put your arms around me  
I get a fever that's so hard to bare_

_You give me fever"_

Eyes still closed mind still focused, Logan dived into the music, this was the way, the only way out…

"_When you kiss me  
Fever when you hold me tight  
Fever  
In the mornin'  
Fever all through the night"_

_"Sun lights up the day time  
Moon lights up the night  
I light up when you call my name  
and you know I'm gonna treat you right"_

James's body was shaking he needed to sit down or else he would faint caught in the maelstrom of feelings Logan had released but he refused to move, moving would require him to take his eyes off him and he would rather die slowly than do that…

_"You give me fever  
When you kiss me"_

Logan took a hand from the piano using the other to keep the beat and snapped his fingers once or twice and the entranced audience that was humming the song as quietly as possible not wishing to interrupt picked the move on immediately. Logan smiled the crooked smile beaming in delight but he still didn't turn to face them, because then he would look at James and crumble on the spot.

_"Fever when you hold me tight  
Fever  
In the mornin'  
Fever all through the night"_

_"Everybody's got the fever  
That is somethin' you all know  
Fever isn't such a new thing  
Fever started long ago"_

Logan decided to play with the lyrics, skipping some because this was a message for him and not a song and besides he didn't know how much longer he could go on.

_"Thou giveth fever_  
_When we kisseth_  
_Fever with thy flaming youth_  
_Fever_  
_I'm a fire_  
_Fever yeah I burn for sooth"_

_"He gives me fever_  
_With his kisses_  
_Fever when he holds me tight_  
_Fever_  
_I'm his misses_  
_Daddy won't you treat him right"_

He gave a giggle at that, but no one else found it funny, they cheered and sung along and Logan kept on pouring his heart out.

_"Now you've listened to my story  
Here's the point that I have made  
Chicks were born to give you fever  
Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade"_

_"They give you fever  
When you kiss them  
Fever if you live you learn  
Fever  
Till you sizzle  
But what a lovely way to burn"_

He looked at him then finally, punching the last words pleading and desperate that he could go on, because James made him combust in flames, and he loved every second of it.

_"What a lovely way to burn  
What a lovely way to burn  
What a lovely way to burn"_

But eventually the music stops, fairy tales end, James had taught him that too, along with how to love someone who ruined your life at the same time. He got up feeling lighthearted, his eardrums were in pain by the clapping and howling and the requests for more, he went towards James feeling hands grab him on the way, strangers patting him in the back, and time started to tick slower as he finally reached him. Derek smiled at him proudly but Logan didn't even see him or anyone else, once more for the final time just him and James in their own little world. He found the hazel eyes, misty and burning, James was trembling like a child because he knew what Logan was going to do now and he searched desperately for a way to stop him but he didn't have the strength. Logan leaned and grabbed his coat he let his body fall, graze on James's just for a second, the longing and the heat had returned but Logan refused to let them destroy him again. He turned up and said it clearly voice as beautiful and mesmerizing as seconds ago when he was on stage.

"Goodbye James." James looked at him realizing he was fading away slowly, further away into the room, far into the crowd, out the door, and out of his life.

He didn't have the time to scream.


	16. Chapter 16

**My infuriating shallow jerk**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my OC characters and that's debatable**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (I promised and deliver you the sexy times)**

**Warnings: Smut language, much, much more smut than originally planed**

**Dedicated to BtrCutie for making me flail**

**A/N: The last author notes of this story and even though I've written other stories in the past under a different pen name for other fandoms and even if "The Bridge" is my first actual Btr story for many reasons this feels like I'm ending the first story I've ever written in my life. And it's a good feeling. I will not tire you with the changes that have happened in my personal life, but know that they are all great and know that in a way you and this story are partly responsible for them. Your support and love have made a person strive to make his life better and I will forever be grateful for that. Thank you for welcoming me to this fandom, thank you for following me to this journey, thank you for making me take a few steps towards being myself. I was thinking of thanking each and every one of you by name but I will probably pm you when you review the final! On a side note I will be making some grammar and spelling corrections to the entire "Jerk" as I write the next story, because yes I will write more as long as you continue walking besides me. (And now I'm off to cry a little, waiting for you to read this.)**

James heard someone call him from afar he couldn't make out who it was, his head was spinning and his heart had stopped beating and his ears kept buzzing because the echo of Logan's last words had hit him like a hammer. Derek had grabbed him by the shoulders and kept shaking him violently calling out his name.

"James! James snap out of it! He's leaving dumbass!" James had fallen in torpor, he wanted to move but he felt drained, he felt a numbing cold fall over him, freezing his body, and Derek kept screaming at him trying to wake him up somehow searching desperately for the key to James's mind.

"James, you can't just stand there and let him walk away! Come on! MOVE DAMN IT!" James shook his head, too scared, too hurt, too proud.

"James please man, everybody can see it that you were made for each other, even Kyle thinks he lost against…" And then Derek had an epiphany, and knew if begging didn't work, maybe that huge ego James has could actually do the trick.

"…LOGGIE! Your Loggie is walking all over you, that bookworm will leave tonight as a whole new different and better person thanks to you, and all he left you behind is what? A song and a broken heart! I thought you were smarter than to fall for the same trick twice Diamond!" James's skin flushed, he felt the blood in his veins burn, his nostrils flared.

"He'll find someone else James, and he will give his first to him! I thought James Diamond could take anything he wanted!" James turned his head towards the door thinking if there was still time.

"I'll kill him first!" And with that he broke into a sprint, leaving a laughing Derek behind, pushing through the crowd, shoving people aside like they were made out of paper, he almost forgot to open the exit door and for a moment lost in his madness he thought of smashing out through the window but he held himself in check somehow.

He turned his head frantically left and right scanning the street for Logan, he spotted him across pacing towards the entrance of the park, **their park! **He didn't even check the street when he ran to catch up to him; a car almost hit him, the wheels screeched in complain by the sudden stop, the driver started shouting and fought to free himself out of his seatbelt in order to beat the crap out of him but James slammed a hand on the front hood violently and begun to ran ahead because he lost Logan from his sight, if he wasn't half way to insanity he would have noticed how Hollywood blockbuster the whole chase was.

The first time he called out Logan's name his voice came out choked and he barely heard it himself, so he took a desperate breath and screamed it again making his throat sore with pain.

"LOGAN!" Logan's body stiffened, he shot his head up when he recognized the voice, but he didn't look back, he pushed his feet to go faster, he almost broke into a run, he refused to listen.

"LOGAN WAIT!" The distance was minimal now Logan felt James's presence warm and blazing coming closer like a fire to burn him once again, he had to make him stop any way possible.

"NO! Leave me alone!" He wished his voice was steady but it was trembling, like his feet, like his heart. They were so close now that James lifted his arm to grab him but Logan turned and pulled away.

"NO! STOP IT! IT'S OVER!" Logan continued ahead stomping away as fast as he could, but James rooted himself to a complete halt.

"YOU COWARD!" Logan turned to face him, mouth open wide, eyes trembling in disbelief.

"Yeah! That's right! You heard me! You're a coward!" Logan came up to him burning with anger.

"AFTER EVERYTHING YOU PUT ME THROUGH YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!" Logan started making gestures in the air like he had been struck by lightning.

"*I* PUT YOU THROUGH! ME! THIS WHOLE THING IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!" James drilled his index finger to Logan's chest pushing him slightly back, but Logan repositioned himself right back into James's face.

"Really! My fault! You screwed my life over you egotistical douche bag!" James scoffed with Logan's comeback.

"What life! You didn't have a life before you met me Mitchell!" And there it was the smug smile, Logan gave a furious growl out and he fisted his own hair.

"Oh, you're one to talk! You whored around trying to find a replacement for _him_ ever since he dumped you! You didn't have a life James, you had a porn movie!" James shook his head trying to make sure he actually heard Logan say that.

"Don't you dare judge me nerd! And stop bringing Kyle in our fights every FUCKING time! It's over between me and him! Can't you get it in your thick scull already you jealous little prick!" James's face was a mixture of frustration and disappointment but Logan just smiled.

"Well, I could be bitching about the slut you slept with the day I gave you that stupid first kiss but I don't even know her name!" James gave a sigh, having a stroke would be far more merciful.

"THEY DON'T MATTER! NO ONE MATTERS! IT'S YOU LOGAN! I LOVE YOU!" Logan didn't look shocked, and he didn't look like he was swept off his feet by the declaration, he looked broken though, tired, eyes red and bloodshot filled with rage and not a sliver of affection.

"BULLSHIT! THE ONLY PERSON YOU LOVE IS YOURSELF PRETY BOY!" James was taken aback from that. He lowered his voice and he looked at Logan confused and hurt.

"How can you be so cruel Logan? How can even you think that after everything we shared...?" Logan dropped his head, his breathing was heavy, the whole point of him walking away was that they could avoid this, but now the whole gesture had turned void.

"Because you don't share James, you give; you give things away, things that don't matter to you really, a few hours to Derek, a few clothes to me. You show people how kind you are but when they come close to you, you fear you'll end up hurt so you screw them before they can do the same to you." James thought he was listening to his mother's story again, only it sounded more twisted this time and with Logan as the narrator.

"Do you believe that?" Is that what you really think about me?" James's patience was running low, Logan was just too merciless.

"I don't know…maybe…" Logan was trying to put in order his chaotic thoughts but now James went for round two, or was it round one hundred and three because they both had lost count of their fights.

"You know what! It doesn't matter! I am a person Logan! I am entitled to make mistakes! And if you cared or knew who I really am you wouldn't rub them in." That brought Logan back; he gave him a confounded look and refilled his lungs with air in order to scream at him once more.

"NO JAMES! THAT'S AN EXCUSE! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WALK ON PEOPLES FEELINGS LIKE THAT!" James bit his lower lip, he had an answer ready, and he knew it was going make things worse but at this point any rationality had flown out off the window.

"What feelings? You only told me how you felt about me once and you did it only after everything between us had already gone to Hell! You said you loved me in the car just to get what you wanted!" Logan felt that like a kick to the groin.

"I sung my heart out for you in there James!"

"Yeah, to say goodbye to me! You didn't even use your own words! You hid in your father's shadow and then you ran! I love you Logan! Every part of you! Yes, it was wonderful but I want you to tell me in your own words and I am not letting you go until you do!" Logan's heart was bursting, he was out of lyrics and James saw it.

"How do you feel about me Logan?" James questioned, voice commanding.

"You're so selfish! And infuriating and shallow! You drive me insane!" Logan tried to stall he even turned his head to see if he could make a run for it. James took an immediate step forward, zeroing their already small distance.

"THOSE ARE JUST LABELS! TELL ME LOGAN! HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME!?" Logan pushed him back shoving him as hard as he could; James grabbed him by both wrists giving him no choice.

"STOP HIDING, YOU ARE NOT A CHILD ANYMORE! HOW DO YOU FEEL!" Logan fought back desperately, he managed to free one arm and gripped James by the collar of his shirt, and James used his newly own free arm and wrapped it around the other's waist pulling him closer.

"Let go of me!" The only thing Logan managed to do with his struggling was to reveal James's muscled neck and he stared at it licking his lips.

"HOW DO YOU FEEL LOGGIE PLEASE?!" James's eyes had tears now hot and untamed.

"I HATE YOU ALRIGHT! I HATE YOU!" For a moment James's features froze, but his raging heart gave him life again.

"ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO INFORM ME!" He pulled Logan up to him their bodies pressed together; Logan wasn't touching the ground anymore. It didn't matter only James's heated breath mattered falling frantically on his face.

"YEAH! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU EITHER YOU JERK! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I CAN BEAR!" James felt his body combust, he felt his knees weakening, but he stood his ground for just a few seconds more, because he needed to hold his sanity for a few seconds more. He locked his gaze into Logan's dark eyes, endless and shining and he felt his soul depart from his body, happy to go to a never ending journey.

"FINE!" James shouted.

"FINE!" Logan boomed.

They smashed their lips together in a kiss and it was glorious. Their tongues met after what seemed like an eternity and they became jumbled in a war of lust and adoration, they lost themselves in each other's flavor, so addicting and so sweet. Logan threw his arms around James's neck and James threw his remaining own around Logan's waist to meet the other. Their chests collided and their bodies jolted in delight because they could feel their hearts under them exploding, their lips parted only for the brief seconds they needed to take air in, they kissed again and again and again setting their bodies on fire. Logan moaned and James smiled delirious with the sound, he nipped the other's lower lip and it made Logan kiss him even harder. He freed himself from James's teeth and he buried himself in James's neck, biting and kissing while James kissed the top of his head filing his lungs with Logan's scent, he didn't want to let the breath go and kept it in as long as he possibly could.

A man on a bike passed by them and he called them fags, but he lived out of their world so they didn't hear him. James put Logan down on the ground and leaned for a tenderer kiss but Logan used the opportunity to push him over and into a line of bushes, James fell back and Logan jumped after him. As James gave out pained grunts into a cloud of smoke, he felt Logan's body fall on top of him, crushing him, happily pinning him on the ground, he kissed James before he could complain about the pain and the dirt and trailed his hands on James's chest. James grinded his body on Logan's own and the other returned the favor. Their clothes were now so constricting that it felt to them like they were wearing straitjackets, their breathing was hard, erratic, blazing. They only knew of one release. Logan felt James's hands go lower and lower he heard his own zipper come down. He pulled back and looked at James eyes filled with horror, James smiled but his eyes were filled with the same emotion.

"James…" James didn't even recognize the sound of his own name; the only thing he could register was that it was his loves' voice calling him.

"You… want us to...you want me?" James just nodded his head; his lips were too busy kissing Logan again.

"You think I'm ready?" The puppy eyes James felt were staring through him, begging him for honesty. James searched himself and realized the true answer.

"We're both ready…" James saw the crooked smile come at him closer and closer until their mouths connected once more filing him with joy. James took Logan's throbbing member out using his hand to free it from the underwear and he was about to go for his own pants' buttons but he found that Logan's fingers were too nimble, he beat him to it. Soon he felt the night air caress his naked skin, Logan climbed a little higher positioning their naked body parts together and started to surge fervently, James stopped kissing him so he could whimper in his ear.

"Oh…my God Logan…this feels so good…" Even if the texture of both their pants felt gruff and their movements were sloppy they still found a way to align them, smashing them together, and the grinds became thrusts and the whispering moans became louder, more lustful, and then James remembered that he had to stop the foreplay before it was too late. He pushed Logan away gently breaking their connected mouths apart but Logan dived right back in. his hunger was far from satisfied.

"Logan, no, baby we have to stop…" He fought on three battlefields, one to speak battling Logan's invading tongue, one to make their bodies cease before they both erupted and a last one to continue, not caring if they crossed the line. Logan realized that James was pushing him away again and he snapped back in fear, before he could form the question that came to his mind James kissed him softly and used one hand to gently tuck away both their members back inside their clothes.

"We need to go home…." Logan gave him a chuckle and shook his head, James felt Logan's palms coming under his shirt trying to yank it over or reap it whatever came first.

"I don't care about the place James. This is fine." James heard it as a husky murmur because Logan's head was trailing down on James's chest leaving behind succulent kisses.

"No, no, Logan stop, we need to go home…" James pleaded again but still his body lied down on the grass.

"I'll clean you up later beautiful…" Logan went for James's pants again.

"Somebody could see us… jail…" James trailed his fingers in Logan's hair making him whimper.

"I'll beat the prison rapists for you…" One long wet kiss on James's mouth to seal the silly promise.

"Logan I don't have a condom!" Logan came to a complete stop; he looked down on James, like he was looking at him for the first time.

"What? How?" Logan was now the one thrown in a battle between sense and mad wrecking lust.

"I stopped carrying one after…well; I needed some failsafe after the date disaster with Mel. No condom, no one night stands." James was so scared that Logan would flip out of jealousy or out of his damn childish insecurities, and that this would for some absurd reason end in another fight but Logan started to laugh wholeheartedly and lifted himself up, he gave a hand out to help James. They stood smiling against each other cleaning themselves up from the dirt and the twigs, and when they kissed again it was less passionate but much more meaningful.

"Let's go home." Logan linked his hand into James's and left his head fall onto his shoulder.

"Let's run for it…" James kissed Logan's sticky forehead and took another long whiff of his scent.

"Yeah! Let's!" And then Logan pushed James away panicked, he pointed down the trail were James saw two passer-by ranting in complete shock to a police officer on a horse, gesturing towards the bushes behind them.

"Crap!" James grabbed Logan by the hand and they ran the opposite way from the Apocalyptic Horseman who only saw their figures vanish in the distance.

* * *

They came down their street, bodies wrecked with excitement and anticipation, every few steps they took closer to their building they stopped to kiss and spin in each other's arms, making sure to keep the fire alive, not that they needed to, one look could produce the same result. When they reached the front door James frantically fumbled with the keys while Logan crept behind him and started biting on his earlobe.

"Get on with it!" Logan ordered and James felt Logan humping him from behind like an animal in heat, he dropped his keys and Logan almost fell back from the doorsteps laughing.

"Horn dog!" He went to pick his keys up and as his trembling fingers went around them Logan suddenly pushed him using his entire body not letting him rise from the steps, pinning him between his legs. Even James Diamond had some sense of decency and he froze still realizing they were in public, head inches away from Logan's crotch. He heard Logan whistle playfully and the jingle of Logan's keys as they twisted and opened the door.

"Are you going to suck me in public or are you cum-ing in?" Smiling crookedly Logan lifted a leg over James's head and entered the building, James shot his body up and grabbed him from behind, he slammed the door and lifted him once more, only higher this time and not from the waist but from Logan's ass, Logan kissed him and wrapped his legs around him.

"We are not going to make it through the stairs…" James announced smiling and Logan pushed him back after yet another kiss, and started hopping two steps at a time. He stopped between floors and when James finally reached him, he threw his coat down smiling shyly.

"Hurry…" Logan asked and James shook his head frustrated.

"Damn, you are going to be worse than what's-his-name aren't you?" James mocked and Logan played with his eyebrows.

"No, you are going to teach me to be better. I want to be the best you ever had." James placed his hands on Logan's flushed cheeks and lifted his head up to face his own.

"Logan, you are the first and last person I'll make love to, you don't have to worry about how good you are, this isn't sex, this is more." He kissed his nose and Logan giggled.

"You can be such a girl sometimes." James pouted and Logan kissed him in the cheek, and they climbed up the stairs enjoying the romance before it was consumed by passion again which was the moment they entered the apartment.

James slammed Logan on the first wall available, his tongue desperately searched Logan's mouth for any place new and undiscovered. He let him go only to start undressing but when Logan saw him lift his shirt he slapped his hands away and mumbled he wanted to do it for him. As Logan freed James from his shirt James took off his shoes and pants and then stopped to push Logan back.

"Upstairs." He commanded smiling like a king, Logan was biting his lower lip taking in the sight of James's almost naked body, full of muscles and popping veins, sweaty and shining and Logan started to walk backwards refusing to turn his back at him, he hit the couch and tumbled over it. James didn't laugh though he went and used a knee to open the other's legs, and Logan wrapped them around James's waist once more, James picked him up and lifted him off the couch, he held him over his body and shook his head with conviction.

"That's the last time I let you fall dork." He kissed him passionately and Logan felt safe knowing that all promises James gave him that night where going to last. As James came up the small metallic staircase that divided his bedroom from the rest of the house, Logan still in his arms, he thought back to his nightmare, and he smiled. No one was going to take Logan away from him because soon they would be one person, one man, and as he felt Logan's breathing fall warm on his neck he knew that Logan wanted this more than anything in the world.

He let Logan down gently like a treasure on his bed, and Logan was standing on his knees unbuttoning his shirt slowly trembling with fear now, but James took his hands in his own and kissed them.

"Anytime you want me to stop, just say the word." Logan nodded and James smiled, he took a step back and waited for Logan to undress not helping him, a little more torture for both of them but it made them harder too. Logan was lifting his undershirt and James had enough when he saw the milky skin, he pushed him back on the pillows and unbuckled his belt, he lifted Logan's legs up pulled the pants off underwear with them, he fell on top of Logan and let their skins sizzle in contact. Their bodies grinded once more only this time it was more violent. They started to kiss, and each time they pulled apart for air James spoke words of worship.

"So beautiful…so hot…Logan…most fuckable man I've ever seen…." He felt Logan's hands around his ass, down his underwear and on his skin, grabbing him and pulling him closer.

"James…take it off please, I want you, please…" James obeyed the request he pulled away and threw his last piece of clothing across the room it fell off the floor and landed somewhere down the living room. He went for his nightstand opened the first drawer almost breaking it apart, he grabbed two condoms and a bottle of lube but then he felt Logan climbing on his back, biting his shoulder blade with intentions to mark and bruise. Logan put a hand on the bottle and pushed it back in the drawer.

"No." He whispered, and James turned and looked at him shocked.

"Logan what…"

"I don't want that. I don't even want the condom but I'll bear it until we take tests and know we're safe, but not that, I want this as naturally as it can possible be." James gave him an angry look.

"Logan, it'll hurt a thousand times more, and the first time is bad enough, don't be stupid." Logan just grinned and lifted James's hand placing it on his mouth, on James's long fingers; he started sucking them like they were made out of candy.

"Take your time stretching me, I don't care how long, use these." James wanted to argue more but Logan's eyes burning with lust and his tongue and saliva coating his fingers left him unable to.

"So spoiled…" He gently pushed him back on the pillows and let him continue happy on the task as he wrapped his palm around Logan and stroked him gently. He let a pained groan out because Logan out of reflex closed his jaw James's fingers still in him, Logan made a funny apologetic face.

"Sorry, love..." James gave him a revengeful look, he pulled his hand away from Logan's mouth and stretched Logan's legs as far apart as he could, and it was Logan's turn to groan with pain as James used his coated index to make first contact. He drilled it as far in as Logan would allow and smiled as Logan tightened and pushed himself away in discomfort, James loved a challenge.

"Relax baby, breathe..." Logan whimpered and tried to follow instructions and James patiently, ignoring the heat and pain between his own legs because that part of him cried out in protest for the neglect, kept on pushing his finger inside and out of Logan, until in what seemed like hours later and James had three of them inside and Logan was screaming for more, driven insane from desire and lust.

"Fuck! James I'm ready! I want to feel you inside me! I want you!" James smiled, once upon a time this side of Logan scared him but not anymore. He realized why, he thought Logan was innocent and because James lost his own before its proper time he wanted his love to keep it as long as possible, but now he understood that was selfish of him. He picked one of the condoms he had beside him and ripped the wrapping off; he couldn't remember another time he prepared with such care. He turned to see Logan's face twisted with anticipation, he grabbed him by the ankles and lifted his parted legs up placing them on his shoulders. James leaned over Logan facing him, kissing him gently, one hand caressing Logan's cheek the other around himself trying to align in Logan's entrance. Logan closed his eyes and tried to pull back as he felt the pressure of the invasion, he grunted from the discomfort and the pain.

"I am here Logan... I am right here…breathe..." James fought for every inch, he kissed Logan repeatedly but the other only gave him pained screams as he felt his back crack and his insides burn.

"A little more...my love...just a little...more..." James was half way in and he felt a pressuring pain of his own, he was ready to ask Logan if he should stop and pull out but then Logan smiled because he started to feel more pleasure than pain.

"God James..." He finally relaxed and James gave a small thrust making him moan in delight, just to make sure he was ready.

"Again...harder..." James complied and Logan put his arms around his back trailing them all over James's muscled backside.

"HARDER!" Logan screamed and kissed him, and James was now thrusting in full force building a violent pace.

"Oh...God...you're so tight...so warm..." James's words were barely comprehensible, his breathing was erratic, and Logan too lost in bliss didn't hear him clearly, but he wanted to, as much as he wanted all of James inside of him.

"James...I love you so much...so much..." James marked Logan's neck with bite marks he felt Logan's nails come viciously down his back tearing his skin, it made his head spin; they were releasing their primal instincts in their own volition.

James lifted Logan violently up, for a few seconds they broke contact and Logan growled with frustration, but James brought him in his lap right above his erection, Logan sat on him eyes gleaming, mouths connected bodies in complete unison. Logan found James's rhythm and tried to follow it, grinding and lifting himself up and down, but James had lost control of his strength, he knew he couldn't last much longer, he searched for something inside his lover, something to push them over the edge. When Logan gave a long scream and tightened himself around James as hard as he could James knew he found it.

"JAMES...James..." Logan was breathless as James rammed his prostate again and again, he moaned every time James's lips allowed him to.

"You like that don't you Loggie..." Logan saw the hazel eyes burning, with something primal; he couldn't imagine that James was just reflecting the look in Logan's own gaze.

"God yes! Don't stop! More... fuck me James...fuck..." James buried his face in Logan's shoulder moaning and licking his sweat, his back couldn't take the pressure any longer and he fell back on the mattress. He felt that his orgasm was close no matter how hard he wished and prayed for otherwise, Logan's fingers were pulling his hair and he saw the desperation in his eyes trying to find something to hold on.

"I can't! Baby I can't..." He took Logan in one hand and pumped him as fast as his wrist would allow trying to make their ending as synchronized as possible, he came seconds sooner, the latex barely held, Logan erupted after him moaning his name in worship painting him in white streams from the abdominal to as far up as his chest. Logan fell on James's embrace, they kissed each other in gratitude, they cried tears of happiness releasing the burden in their hearts.

"I love you...I'll love you for the rest of my life..." Logan whispered trying to pull his body from the brink of an exhausting death, his insides were burning with hot white pain but he felt so complete that he simply didn't care.

"Life's not enough I want you more, I want forever...I'll love you forever…I swear Logan..." James wrapped his arms around him and although he slowly pulled himself out he knew that a part of him was in Logan for eternity because their souls were now inseparable.

They settled and lied besides each other, James pulled the covers over them trying to shield them from the world, Logan took his hand in his own and settled it above his beating heart. He stared on him like he was facing a miracle; he caressed his flustered cheek and smiled.

"My guy...I finally got you..." James placed his free arm behind Logan's head, he pulled him closer and neither cared about the sweat or the cum on their bodies, and most of all they didn't care about the fatigue whose only purpose was to throw them in dreamland, they only cared about each other, they didn't want the night to end yet.

"How's the pain, are you holding alright?" Logan grinned and he leaned closer as close as he could get to James's ear.

"You lied…this is the best feeling ever..." James gave a small laugh and shook his head.

"That's because you're a masochist Mitchell." Logan nodded his cheeks blushed red.

"I wouldn't be able to love you if I wasn't." He sighed and James pouted in protest.

After that they fell silent and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes as their minds caught up to reality.

"James this isn't going to be easy, us I mean, we're not going to be an easy relationship..." Logan was first to see that no matter how much they cared about each other their differences could still pull them apart.

"Just promise me you won't run out at the first bump on the road and I promise I won't be selfish and hurtful." Logan kissed their linked hands and nodded his head.

"I promise James, I won't leave you again, as long as you want me I'm here, right here." James nodded and kissed his lips softly, Logan smiled finally clearing up the doubts he had about a dream he saw once that was a little too real.

"And I don't want any more secrets or bottled feelings." Logan stated and James squished his hand.

"And you'll come with me to the gym at least twice a week; I want to spend more time with you." Logan giggled and James made a face.

"You should have said that from the start dummy! No more slimy ex-boyfriends or booty calls or I'm out. If somebody wants you, well, tough luck to them. You're mine now." James thought about joking on how jealous and possessive Logan could be but the adorable determination on his face just made him give a laugh out first.

"I have friends you know, Mel is a friend now, you'll have to try and be civilized." Logan threw him a menacing side glance.

"And I have a good grasp on the human anatomy and access to scalpels and surgery gloves, you can tell her that Monday morning." James shook his head; maybe he should pull a step back from his social circle, just until his little lion would feel confident enough and not go Jack The Ripper on his friends.

"Why didn't you tell me you can sing?" James asked a few seconds later face serious, voice solemn.

"I...Dad taught me, I don't even remember how he coaxed me into it, it was the only thing I loved as much as reading, so in high school I tried out for a school play and got the lead..." James smiled astonished; he could imagine Logan trembling like a fish in the auditions the judge losing his patience until Logan just let one note out shaking the teacher to the core.

"The day the cast was announced the jocks ganged up on me and after the final bell they followed me all the way home calling me gay and stuff...Twenty minutes walk from my school to my house, the people around me just stared, no one did a thing, I quit the play the next day, I didn't sing again until mom asked me to after dad died because she missed the music." James stroked his head and he let a grunt out.

"Christmas break we're going to your hometown, I want to meet your mom, pay your father my respects and you're making me a list of all the people that were mean to you so I can track them down and beat them to a pulp. And I want to hear your voice every day; I'm not asking Loggie, you have no choice on this." Logan looked at his knight in shining armor and he didn't know if he should be flattered or scared.

"Am I going to meet your mother too? You said you spend the weekend with her." He looked at James with lighted up eyes, happy with the prospect that James was trying to patch his family together again.

"When I tell Brooke that she was right about us and we're together now, she'll probably ditch a million dollar deal and fly first class to surprise us, and stop smiling baby, she'll chew your head off before she gives you her approval. Poor Derek will have a heart attack..."

"I say bring it, I'm not scared of anyone anymore love, not as long as I can touch you." Logan kissed him and their bodies were rested long enough that they either had to go to sleep or make passionate love again, easiest choice they ever had to make. Logan climbed on top of James and they started kissing with more force, pleasure flooding their senses, electricity running down their spines. James grabbed the second condom and handed it over to Logan.

"Your turn." Logan smiled the crooked smile and ripped the wrapping with his teeth.

* * *

It was midday when they came out of the shower, both dressed in just two white undershirts and clean boxers, they were shinning and their skin was wet and clean, Logan was grinning like the most devious child and James had the most dumbfounded expression on the planet.

"I can't believe you just did that..." James mumbled still trying to catch his breath, Logan had just opened the fridge trying to find something else to eat then he turned and swallowed hard taking in the last drops he had liberated from his new boyfriend during their shared bath.

"I can't believe you taste so good." He countered slyly; James wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to sit on top of him sharing a chair nibbling on his ear.

"You are so needy Loggie." They brushed their lips together between words and smiles.

"Yeah, but I only need you..." Logan's stomach growled suddenly and James laughed hard.

"Your stomach seems to disagree!" Logan looked down on James's happy face and he felt different now, like he had another purpose in life, to make James's bliss last, to be the center of his world, because James's happiness made him feel alive, truly alive.

"I love you James." He leaned and kissed him and James was so lost in the sea of emotions and pleasure that he didn't hear the door open, Logan did but he just ignored it.

There it was, Logan's coat held in the air like a shield by a long arm and a woman's voice madly laughing behind it, James turned and looked at their direction a little shocked at the interruption Logan moved just enough to wrap himself even closer to his embrace.

"Are you guys decent?" Derek asked more scared than joking.

"No, go away we're butt naked!" Logan shouted at him but his laughter gave him away.

Brianna pulled the coat away and walked smiling giddily into the apartment holding large bags filled with food, Derek came after her but his face was twisted in horror; he stared at James's scattered clothes all over the place.

"You guys made up!" James shouted in excitement, Brianna gave a very British snort out, Logan rolled his eyes and Derek flailed like he won the lottery.

"In your face Diamond!" Derek pointed at James who looked at all of them confused, and then Derek proceeded to dance like a chicken. As Derek rubbed the fact in that he was never dumped in the first place and he was now a better actor than James, Logan got up and helped Brianna set the table, he stole glances back at James who fought verbally with their best friend, then he felt Brianna's hand on his shoulder.

"How do you feel dove?" She wasn't blind of course; she just needed to hear it from Logan.

"Complete, ecstatic, scared, breathless...Really I could go on for days, I'm just so happy Bri." He was lighted up like a Christmas tree, and his happiness was contagious she looked at him proud and with the same amount of excitement he had.

"Good for you lamb, just try to remember what James does to you because relationships are hard, and me and the clown over there are not going to be there to save the day every time." He grabbed her hand squishing it fondly and nodded serious, no other words needed to be exchanged.

The scene looked more like one out of a party than a group of friends having a late breakfast, they joked and laughed and teased each other, the highlights of course were the moment when Derek begged his roommates to put some clothes on, they shot him down cold, and when Brianna made Logan sing for her since she had missed her chance to hear him the other night, James didn't take his eyes of him and Derek nudged him so he'd remember how to breathe. Hours passed and it was early afternoon when Derek helped Brianna to pick her things up, he turned to his friends with a sad expression.

"I'll be sleeping at the Misses tonight leave you alone, so you two lovebirds can be as loud and disgusting as you want. And James, there's something else…" Brianna took his hand in her own giving him courage, James and Logan looked at him scared.

"Me and Brianna talked about it, we think it's about time we find a place of our own, so I'll be moving out as soon as I can." James and Logan got up from their chairs; they looked at him with panic and guilt.

"Hey, just because me and James are together you don't have to go anywhere!"

"Yeah bro! Really, we'll be quiet, I'll move over in Logan's room, we'll try to be decent when you're around, I don't want you to think I'm kicking you out, this is your home, our home!" Derek laughed a little frustrated, a little happy with his friends.

"Guys, really you two have nothing to do with this. It's just time to take the next step you know. I actually feel bad about it because you'll be forced to live by yourselves so early in the relationship." Derek gave a sigh out, but Brianna smiled at them.

"They will be fine, have some faith in them Yankee." James grabbed Logan and pulled him close into a hug and he beamed at his family mumbling a thank you. Brianna and Derek said their goodbyes and left them alone, Logan started cleaning the dishes with a worried expression and James hugged him once more, lips caressing the back of his neck.

"We'll make it Loggie." He said filled with conviction and Logan closed the running water and turned to face him.

"I know James. I won't run away from you anymore, I promised." They kissed and it was hours since they felt the consuming heat burn their bodies up, James pushed Logan gently on the kitchen floor they started to grind on each other hands everywhere, breaths mingling, and loins on fire. James shot himself up suddenly remembering they needed protection and as he turned to run for his night stand Logan grabbed him by the ankle and kissed the back of his leg.

"I love you James Diamond, from now until you burn me to dust." James lowered himself down and ruffled his hair; he pulled him up to a slow sizzling kiss.

"I love you too… Hortanse!" Logan laughed with all his heart at the sight of James's smile because he realized that was what he loved most about James. His infuriating shallow jerk.


End file.
